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The good Dr. M lands his cruiser in the beer field next to the Boozerama. He strolls out to the bar with a modest escort of 60 combat droids and 4 human droid commanders. On seeing the massive forcefields covering the Boozerama, Dr. M considers getting more guards. The droid commanders all swear that they have more than enough firepower and shielding to ward off whatever it was that leveled the bar, so Dr. M continues onward.
Now, Dr. M is a Role Model for millions of youths throughout the galaxy. He does not normally consort with the vermin that inhabit places like this. But he just had to see SilverDragon's walking talking magic wall.
Forty-five combat droids and 3 humans surround the bar. The rest go inside with Dr. M. After a few salvos to quiet the locals, Dr. M questions the bartender.
Dr. M: "What happened to SilverDragon's wall?" Bartender: "woupqewrn,s/vHPWQRA/GKWO IAOPJFIOE OWE ADDAa asi;ewj aosidl" Dr. M: "Alien is it?, well, give me a tall glass of milk will you?"
Dr. M pulls out his pocket supercomputer, and sets about hacking up a translation program. He finishes in a few minutes.
Dr. M: "Again, what happened to SilverDragon's wall?" Bartender: "Exploded wall SilverDragon did fled fast." (*program has some bugs) Dr. M: "The wall exploded?, SilverDragon ran in terror?" Bartender: "Wellmaybenotquiteyesbut..." Dr. M: "Oh well, maybe we can find something interesting in the rubble. Commander, have the droids keep a vidcam out for SilverDragon. I want to discuss this wall with him."
Dr. M summons the intersteller archaeology department from his ship and they begin digging in and around the bar for interesting wall fragments. Dr. M leaves the droids and archaeologists and returns to his ship to await results...
------------------
Capt. Editor walks into the bar and slams into the one of the opaque forcefields.
"Dn, how do I get rid of those forcefields?", pulls out his magnetized hyper-gamma ray gun and procedes to blow up the forcefield projectors, "Ha! Now you dm walls can't hurt anyone else!!"
Procedes to drink 8 glasses of the bar's most powerful drink and stumbles over to his ship, knocking down the neon "Boozerama Bar" sign with his rear stabilizer upon lift-off.
Kevin
------------------ Hey Andrew, how much do those Karma Sticks cost again?
Quote
Originally posted by Capt. Editor: **Capt. Editor walks into the bar and slams into the one of the opaque forcefields.
**
3 weeks later Capt Editor wakes up: what happened? UR: the drinks you ordered made you go to sleep. CE: where am I? UR: in the new bar. i got a bulk freighter and filled it with 450 tons of different kinds of booze. CE: oh UR: and this time no guns allowed hehe <points to the ceiling near the entrance> neutron blaster on the laser turret mount. CE: does it work? just then an alien with a huge blaster rifle comes in alien: (translation) i'm robbing this bar and all the booze! UR presses a button and the neotron fires 12cm from where the alien is standing. Alien: (no translation for safety reasons) alfasfh*&#
Since the forcefield walls that held up the bar have been destroyed, the roof once again collapses. Rawzer, un fortunately is battling with one of the many bounty hunters after him. A message from Ultimate Rebel pops up on his viewscreen.
"Bar collapsed. Need $."
Rawzer returns the message:"Ask Rebel Council" Then Rawzer disables the Kestral, and destroys it, knowing nothing good is inside. With 64,000 credits a day, Rawzer has no financial problems.
The next day, while attacking a Confederate Cruiser, Rawzer gets a message from Rebel Council.
"Already paid once. Your turn."
KABOOM! The cruiser explodes. Rawzer sighs, then heads over to Palshife, where the Boozarama is, or was, located.
Upon arrival, Rawzer sees a mass of rubble with U.R. and the alien bartender sitting on top.
Rawzer: "Again?!"
U.R.: "Yup."
"Who?"
"Captain Editor."
"Why?"
"Didn't like the forcefield."
<sigh>
Razwer gives U.R. enough money to rebuild the bar, with layers of titanium armor. But U.R. keeps most of the money after Rawzer leaves as a savings plan. The bar is left unprotected...
------------------ I don't care what the moderators say, my nickname is swedish chef.
(This message has been edited by Rawzer (edited 06-28-2002).)
SilverDragon blows up the bar in his Lightning, and then for good measure defeats Palshife's defence fleet and takes over Satori.
------------------ Fear not the dragon, Fear not the wolf, Fear not the warship, Fear my Crescent Fighter.
Originally posted by SilverDragon: **SilverDragon blows up the bar in his Lightning, and then for good measure defeats Palshife's defence fleet and takes over Satori.
this bar is on Evil Drome! UR then has his fleet of 7 rebel cruisers blow up SD's ships. this newest bar is invincible. and there are no walls. the ceiling is held up with repulsor lifts. and UR(who is the bartender NOT an alien) is armed with a guided blaster. (he is not afraid to use it either.) he also has armed guards at the entrance to the bar.
------------------ I try to think but nothing happens!- Ultimate Rebel
UR decides to post rules: 1. no killing (except me if i see fit) 2. no weapons (except me and the guards) 3. NO BLOWING UP THE BAR (wait that should be no.1) 4. no leaving packages that say "To be delivered yesterday"
please follow these rules
A huge battlecruiser, larger than the... um... um... nothing as large as the Voinian Dreadnought in the EV universe, I guess. Well, anyhow, a very large battlecruiser enters the orbit of Evildrome, sending down an excecutive transport to dock at the spaceport. A man with a huge cloak leaves the Excecutive transport and walks into the bar and orders a Zidaลwait, there are no Zidagar in the EV universe, so he orders a... um... um..., well a rather strong drink that burns your eyballs out and freezes your throat. He then sees the rules and asks the bartender to hold his Atomic Deathray Blaster for him until he leaves, and pays the bartender 300,000 credits to do so.
------------------ YakKa Foob MoG. GRuG PubbuWuP ZiNk WattooM GaZoRK. CHuMBLE SpuZz.
(This message has been edited by Lord Gwydion (edited 05-05-2001).)
SilverDragon looks guilty, then looks at his Enforcer Pistol.
He looks at Ultimate Rebel. "Meanie." SilverDragon mutters, and then he throws away his Enforcer Pistol.
AND his retractable rocket launcher, Railgun, Tachyon Laser rifle, photon rifle, neutron blaster, torp. crossbow, proton chaingun, handheld missile launcher and phase sword.
He KEEPS his wooden spoon, and challenges Ultimate Rebel to a fight with his spoon.
Meanwhile, Capt. Editor sets up a new bar across the street, with walls.
UR: hey!! You can't make a new bar right across the street from mine!!
CE: Watch me!!!
UR: No, watch Silver Dragon!! He's about to run into one of your walls!!
SD: SMACK
CE and UR: Hahahahahaha!!!
Suddenly RC runs into the bar and pushes UR out of the way. RC runs up to SD and exepts his challenge. After several minutes and many bruses on the forehead RC stumbles the out of the bar mutering "Why you little."
Several minutes later a nutron blast flyes into the bar striking SD in the leg.hehe
------------------ if it dosent doesn't squiel its not worth killing
Boy, SD doesn't have very good luck, does he.
Lord Gwydion demands that there be an arena for him to watch and fight! He then pulls out a metal :eek: spoon and challenges someone to a duel!
Originally posted by Lord Gwydion: **Lord Gwydion demands that there be an arena for him to watch and fight! He then pulls out a metal :eek: spoon and challenges someone to a duel! **
Capt. Editor quickly builds an arena for people to do spoon fighting in. He then procedes to polish his titanium special edition hand made atographed dueling spoon and waits for Lord Gwydion to enter the arena.
Dang! Titanium spoons! Lord Gwydion cautiously circles around Capt. Editor, lunging quickly, but retracting swiftly. But then, he remembers his secret weapon! He suddenly presses a button inside his cloak when Capt. Editor steps on the right spot in the sand. A hole opens up and Capt. Editor falls through! However, his victory is short-lived as Capt. Editor does the same!
Rawzer then challenges Siver Dragon in order to settle their differences. As he says this, he shows everyone his full suit of armaplast armor, and an extra long titanium spoon.
Wait a minute, Rawzer thinks. Armaplast weighs 5 tons! Rawzer decides to use the armor as part of a trap, where, in the middle of the fight it will drop on his opponent. Rawzer decides that after this happens he will say: "My, my. Looks like pieces of that bulk freighter are falling from the sky."
Yeah, that's what I'll say, he thinks to himself. Meanwhile, since he has been staring into space for the last 5 minutes, all eyes are on him as he comes back to the present.
"Ah, heh. Heh, heh. Um...carry on."
He then walks out, still awaiting Siver Dragon's reply.
Then he sees Capt Editor's new bar.
"Asta la vista, baby!"
Using his crossbow style rocket launcher, he blows up the bar, proving that Boozerama #17 is the best.
(This message has been edited by Rawzer (edited 05-05-2001).)
Originally posted by Rawzer: **Then he sees Capt Editor's new bar.
Using his crossbow style rocket launcher, he blows up the bar, proving that Bozzarama #17 is the best. **
:frown:My bar is gone :frown:, but there's still more money in my pocket.
Capt. Editor quickly builds a new bar on top of where the old one used to be. Th new bar has EXTRA thick walls that are hard to destroy and really hurt when you run into them. The new bar is also guarded by alien thugs with extra-strength 17inch long neutronic-beam swords.
SD slams into the new bar's wall and falls on the ground hiting his head on a piece of rubble from the old bar. He then procedes to kick the wall repetedly until the alien thugs notice. The alien thus beat SD up with thier extra-strength 17inch long neutronic-beam swords. SD is hospitalised and is currently resting in the hospital down the street.
Noticing that everybody is using spoons, SilverDragon grins, stands up and quotes:
Originally posted by the Matrix:
"There is no spoon."
Suddenly, the world ceases to exist, for in fact, in the Discworld of Terry Pratchett, not only do the four elephants rest in the giant turtle, but it all rests on a spoon!
SilverDragon swears.
(This message has been edited by SilverDragon (edited 05-05-2001).)
None of us here what SD said because he is in the hospital down the street and we are in our bars.
The Alien thugs are still on gaurd so be careful of what you say in my new bar.
SilverDragon becomes annoyed that he dreamed he was in the bar, so he blows the hospital up and leaves through a warphole to EVO.
"Goodbye."