Global Thermonuclear War

Game 35

Okay, here's how things are going to work. There are three roles in this game:

  • Diplomat
  • Intelligence Agent
  • Traitor

Should you be unfamiliar with what these mean, some brief descriptions:

  • The diplomat is your standard player. Seeks to survive and discover the identity of the traitor(s) in his midst.
  • The intelligence agent is a man with highly-placed information sources that give him accurate information on the allegiance of any player he chooses to investigate.
  • The traitor is evil. Pure evil. So evil that he acts as a magnet to all evilness. He seeks to destroy the Diplomats and Intelligence Agent and RULE THE WORLD.

Rules:

  • The game will follow a day/night cycle, beginning with day. Each 'day' will last for forty-eight hours barring events in real life, in which case I will inform you beforehand of an extension or reduction in length. For my purposes, the first 'day' starts at 5:00 PM Central Standard Time.
  • The intelligence agent may only investigate one player per night cycle.
  • The traitor(s) may only kill one person per night cycle.
  • I will reveal roles upon death, regardless of whether the player was a diplomat, intelligence agent or traitor.
  • When you die you are allowed one death post. No more.
  • PMs between players are encouraged -- make alliances, backstab, whatever it takes to win for your side.
  • Post your votes in bold.

Player list:

  • Crow T. Robot
  • JacaByte
  • Kasofa1
  • mud212
  • mrxak
  • nfreader
  • prophile
  • Shlimazel
  • SoItBegins

Please do not post until I've sent you a PM informing you of your role in this game. Should you have any questions or comments, PM me -- don't post it here or I'll delete your post.

And so we begin this most dangerous game… GLOBAL THERMONUCLEAR WAR.

(Opening: We see nine men sitting under a ring of light around a table. One of the walls has a screen spanning its entire length, showing a Mollweide equal area projection map.)

(A disembodied voice speaks)

NARRATOR: Welcome, gentlemen. You've been called here today because we have a problem -- not all of you are loyal to the military alliance your countries pledged allegiance to last year -- among us are traitorous elements. It will be your job to discuss amongst yourselves who could be so perfidious as to betray the trust of all the rest, and find out what are they seeking to gain. As such, until we know who is a traitor, you're all going to remain here. This evil must be rooted out and destroyed. Once that goal is achieved we can all go home and relax…

…for now.

God bless, and good luck!

---------

Side note: everyone should have received a PM from me now. If not, let me know.

As the temporary (my colleague, Dr. Baldwin is regrettably indisposed at the moment) representative for the Independent but We Could Really Use Some Aid Nation of San Serife, I think I speak for my fellow nations when I ask whose brilliant idea it was to use a Mollweide projection. I move that the projection be declared unfit and replaced with...

( SWISH )

this! Behold gentlemen! A globe.

All in favor say aye.

The People's Democratic Republic of Cyclopia also objects to the use of the Mollweide projection. However, we cannot abide by the use of racist tools that deliberately handicap those of us without depth perception. I move that the use of the globe be banned, to be replaced with a more fair and accurate representation of the world to be determined by a special committee of representatives from the member nations.

"It brings back memories," the gentleman in blue said, leaning back in his chair. His face was hidden in shadow. "Sitting around this table, trying to decide the fate of the world." He took a swig from a glass of something in his hand— fruit juice with ice, perhaps.
"You know, we tried to automate the process once." He chuckled. "Thought we could entrust the decisions to a computer. Completely laughable." Behind the veil of shadow, his eyes closed for a moment. "It was a disaster. I think the world would have exploded in a puff of logic if it hadn't all been a simulation."

After a pause, he shrugged. "We finally managed to distract it, trapping it into an infinite loop playing chess."

The man waited to see if anyone wanted to say or ask something. No one did. He continued, "So— an old, familiar game... played by humans. Let's make the usual opening gambit, shall we?"

The board in front of his chair flickered, and cleared to reveal: prophile.
_
(it's good to be back!)_

This post has been edited by Mackilroy : 17 May 2012 - 11:45 AM
Reason for edit: make sure to mark your previous vote as retracted, thanks

prophile gets too much attention, we should address the matter of the world map representation, which will be solved by using a globe, and then I will cast my vote for Crow T. Robot. (Retracted)

Never trust a robot.

This post has been edited by JacaByte : 16 May 2012 - 05:34 PM

@jacabyte, on 16 May 2012 - 03:08 PM, said in Global Thermonuclear War:

Never trust a robot.

Wiser words have never been spoken. I too suspect Crow T. Robot , based on absolutely no evidence. My deep-seated and irrational prejudices have never led me astray with regards to those "people".

The Independent but We Could Really Use Some Aid Nation of San Serife sincerely apologizes for not taking into account the Cyclopian peoples' complete lack of depth perception and we humbly withdraw our support for a globe. We would like to work hand in hand with our Cyclopian neighbors to reach a suitable compromise on the issue of acceptable map projections.

We also find the behavior of representative Begins to be insulting and degrading to the Independent but We Could Really Use Some Aid Nation of San Serife and our rich cultural history of sucking at the game he so cleverly alluded to as chess. Furthermore, we reject his stealthy, mysterious demeanor as it is commonly associated with someone who is a miscreant, nefarious, ne'r do well. The Independent but We Could Really Use Some Aid Nation of San Serife moves that SoItBegins has ulterior motives.

The representative from Gizmonic Institute feels that this anti-robot hatred is quite unnecessary. We robots do not have any hate towards those of the flesh but want to work with them in solving this crisis. In that regard, we computed the data from our internal sources and we feel that Jacabyte might be having evil motives.

This post has been edited by Mackilroy : 17 May 2012 - 11:40 AM
Reason for edit: when you change your vote please edit your previous post, thanks

On that note, I realize that we need robots for our extensive manufacturing industry. Having no respect or use for one eyed peoples I shall therefore change my vote to Mud212.

This post has been edited by JacaByte : 16 May 2012 - 05:33 PM

How can one with two eyes be so blind? Can you not see that this is what the robots want? Those soulless toasters will turn us against each other, one by one. They'll make us destroy one another! And by the time you realize what they've done, it'll be too late for all of us.

I warn you, comrades, do not lot their pretensions of peace and innocence sway you, lest they send us rushing headlong into war against one another. Let us not do their killing for them!

This post has been edited by mud212 : 16 May 2012 - 07:32 PM

If I was going to run this game, I know exactly who I'd make the traitor. Why? Because only this one individual is devious enough to exterminate you all. I shouldn't even have to say it, it should really be obvious to everyone.

nfreader

@mud212, on 16 May 2012 - 07:31 PM, said in Global Thermonuclear War:

How can one with two eyes be so blind? Can you not see that this is what the robots want? Those soulless toasters will turn us against each other, one by one. They'll make us destroy one another! And by the time you realize what they've done, it'll be too late for all of us.

I warn you, comrades, do not lot their pretensions of peace and innocence sway you, lest they send us rushing headlong into war against one another. Let us not do their killing for them!

How dare you insult my grandmother with your comments. She was the pride of the Kitchenaid company for 10 years for how she evenly toasted bread, bagels, and other foods that humans eat. As I said, we at the Gizmonic Institute want to root this problem with terrorist out as quickly and efficiently as possible so we can get back to work. We have moved to change our vote to mud212.

This post has been edited by Crow T. Robot : 16 May 2012 - 09:52 PM

We of the Allied Lunar Colonies also reject the imperialist form of cartography known as the "globe", as it is an affront to the sacrifices of hard working offworlders everywhere. We find representative mud212's arguments towards the incivility of robotic organisms highly offensive as well, given the large percentage of mechanical beings dwelling within the confines of our nation, and find ourselves inclined to distrust his willingness to sanction intolerance of other life forms while condemning affronts to his own people as an act of racism. Given these various factors, we choose to vote for mud212.

*A light comes on in the corner, and a small, well dressed man walks out onto the table, the Ambassador of Small. He adjusts his tie, glances at his watch, and sets down a laptop computer and a briefcase. He then flips open the briefcase, pulls out a small folding chair, kicks the briefcase back into the dark off the table, and sits down. He boots his laptop and then glances around the room, before typing something on his computer. The computer hums for a second, and then, with a little beep, begins to speak in a flat and almost garish, grinding voice: "Hello, gentlemen. I was a little short on time, and haven't got all my files together. (pause, typing sounds) Map preference? (pause, more typing sounds) I like large flat ones, it's easier for someone of my (awkward pause) stature, to read them." This said, the man looks up again around the ring of faces.

This post has been edited by Kasofa1 : 17 May 2012 - 12:07 AM

The Republic of Prophilia has had, now, a long-standing peace with the people of SoItBegins , but that will certainly not make us complacent. We are well aware of the risks of sitting idly by whilst others conspire against us. Our deep distrust of fruit juice will not be shaken.

This post has been edited by prophile : 17 May 2012 - 03:13 AM

The man in blue chuckled. "Remind me to send you something alcoholic on your birthday," he said, entering something into his voteplate. "Don't worry— we've discovered that some of the other members seem to have a scapegoat already in mind."
He smiled, behind the shadows.
"His name is mud, so to speak."

The plate changed, to read: mud212.

Comrades, friends, I beg you, do not let yourselves be duped by robotic lies. They would have you silence me so that they may carry out their nefarious plans without the scrutinizing glare of my attention!

I have here been charged of both racism and hypocrisy. These claims ignore one important fact: robots aren't **** people . They are tools to do the labor we would rather not have to do. They are appliances , not fundamentally different from a dishwasher or a Roomba. They are machines endowed with intelligence, yes, but no empathy - no heart - to regulate their relentless logical pursuits.

Do you really believe that the robots are blind to the fact they are our mechanical slaves? Do any of you truly believe they are unaware we lose no sleep when they are melted down for scrap metal, replaced by newer models? Knowing this, do you really think they would hesitate to kill any of us if given the opportunity?

I warn you, the robots intend a revolution against us. We gave them minds but no hearts, and soon we will all pay for this mistake. The robots will make war on us, destroy us all. They will feast on the burnt flesh of our children, and rejoice in their new Robotopia, free of all fleshopoids.

Comrades, we must head off this rebellion before it begins; we will have no hope otherwise. They have nothing to lose but their chains, and they will not hesitate to beat us with them. Fleshopoids of the world, we must unite!

This post has been edited by mud212 : 17 May 2012 - 11:18 AM

So like, what's the current vote total?

For the nonce:

mud212
JacaByte
Crow T. Robot
Shlimazel
SoItBegins

SoItBegins
nfreader
prophile

nfreader
mrxak

Crow T. Robot
mud212

A friendly reminder: when you change your vote, remember to mark out your previous vote. Thanks!

Log in to reply