Just some suggestions for some things.
In your str resources, str 1021 would sound better like this:
Message Buoy: You are entering a territory belonging to the Duelists. Beware of impending death. Have a nice day...
Just dump the "and welcome". It didn't seem to fit.
Dam the Duelists! Dam them to HELL!
I hope you misspelled that on purpose.
You take 5 minutes to finish your drink. After all, he was on your time.
That's from the mission "Money Maker".
For one thing, try not to mix us past and present tense. "He is on your time schedule", not "He was on your time schedule." Second, you might consider changing that part. Some may not get what you mean.
Maybe try, "You slowly sip your drink, contemplating the whole situation. No need to rush for some stranger , you think to yourself."
Also from the same mission,
As soon as they realize that you have entered the cabin they stand up in respect, after all they're in your ship.
The "after all" part isn't neccesary. How about this? "As soon as the two realize you have entered the cabin, their conversation stops, and the stranger stands to greet you."
Keep it consistent. The first mate earlier openly calls you by your nickname and greets you in a casual, laid back manner. Why now would he "stand up in respect"? If he did stand, it would be just for the heck of it. But that's just my opinion.
Ok, I'm just going to stop now. Besides, whenever I try to jump into the Dibudei Prime system (at least I assume that's what it is), Nova crashes. Not too sure what's up with that. That also but a damper on the testing your HG's out for ya.
If you'd like, I could go over your descriptions and do some spelling and grammatical checks for you? Also spice 'em up a bit.. just give me the word and I'll get to it.
This post has been edited by Crashe : 15 August 2006 - 11:26 PM