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As the W.I.L.L. ships are hovering over the Atlantic Ocean, the molten ripples in the crust caused by Newfoundland's splashdown hit them. They are instantly obliterated. Europe is saved!
Meanwhile, Ethel Ethereal, Empress of Newfoundland and the only one capable of controlling the ETHEREAL ENERGIES makes a alliance with Mr. T...
------------------ Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore, While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. "'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door- Only this, and nothing more." (url="http://"mailto:kroekers@home.com")mailto:kroekers@home.com(/url)kroekers@home.com
did a little jig, the imige of which was transported through space and time to a place where jigs where considered extremely rude. This extremly rude jig was saw by the most powerful manin the galaxy he promptly got together a warfleet to attack Earth. The most powerful fleet in the galaxy arrived at Earth only to find an asteroid with a solitary old man who insisted that nothing was true. He was later proved wrong. The fleet realised they had the wrong cordinates so they set a course for the real Earth. When they arrived...
Quote
Originally posted by Evino: did a little jig, the imige of which was transported through space and time to a place where jigs where considered extremely rude. This extremly rude jig was saw by the most powerful manin the galaxy he promptly got together a warfleet to attack Earth. The most powerful fleet in the galaxy arrived at Earth only to find an asteroid with a solitary old man who insisted that nothing was true. He was later proved wrong. The fleet realised they had the wrong cordinates so they set a course for the real Earth. When they arrived...
Okay could people from now on actualy READ at least the last five posts before posting a reply? That's two people who've only branched off the first one.
BTW i wonder why no one has resurected Capt. Jacobs yet and brought him back into this somehow.
...Meanwhile, The Elvis's hear a sound like 100,000 thousand people going "WHOP"...
------------------ "Not an Electric Sausage" Marvin
"Happiness is like a warm gun"-John Lennon
I am a proud member of Dogbert's New Ruling Class
First of all W.I.L.L. was destroyed a few posts ago by the MNB Hole. A well. I should stop complaining since they were destroyed again and Europe was saved...
Anyways, the battle rages on. already 2 MNB Holes are destroyed as well as 2 MDT Holes. Jericoh, Ethel and Mr.T launch there off-white holes as Elvis and Von H. launch there yellow and green holes. As all holes of all colors hit, suck up, and colide, the space around becomes almost a muddish brown. After hitting each other multiple times, they all became a dull mudiish colors. Since they were a muddy yellow, blue, green, white color the holes became stupid. They all sort of mushed into one stupid hole and became extremely... stupid. The GSMH (Giant Stupid Muddy Hole) wandered sluggishly through the galaxy not sucking up anything for millions of years...
The Whurp Hole is pleased to see his plan working. He quickly moves in for the kill...
SOB and the turquoise hole (both without a navy) snap out of their crazed off color buzz. They apoligize to each other and retire in a molten ripple near Newfoundland. The color wheel is now stable in the universe. But where are the red masterminds? Purple? Gray? We wonder as we read the next saga of Tell a Story...
The Mr.T's apologize as well and rejoin together to make there company stronger than ever. Jericoh says goodbye to his friends on Newfoundland and soon meets up with his old friend Hades. They soon join up again to fight evil across the galaxy...
The universe is again at peace tht is until the Whurp Hole came. This battle would last a lifetime...
-------------------- Feel the Jive -------------------- (Insert cool quote here)
------------------
AllofasuddenafleetofAudemedonandSalrilianShipsdestroyseverythingandkillseveryoneTHEEND
------------------ World War 1 was fought with Machine Guns and Cannons. World War 2 was fought with bombs and missiles. I don't know what World War 3 will be fought with, but it will be so terrible that World War 4 will be fought with stone clubs. Steven Hawkings, -A Brief History of Time
In another part of the world the inhabitants of Australia find the perfect time to invade the former U.S. They load up 50 passanger liners and depart for San Francisco. Australia- as had been a penal colony sends its citizens to steal and create fake Rolex watches and end smuggling of cocane destroying the states economy. It is now a new depresion...
jive, understand that the whurp/turquoise hole are the ones who enraged the blue hole because it was too peaceful...
anyway, even though peace reigns in this area of the universe, much destruction has occured, it is time for the turquoise hole to use his great prize and renew the destruction that has been wrought. he goes into a great convulsion, and after much work, he unsucks (throws up) the turquoise robin of rebirth! soon the robin is at work, repairing buildings, planting gardens and miraculasly (sp?) brings back 3 people: pike, ripper and CAPTAIN JACOBS!
to be continued...
And then they all died. The End!
Originally posted by Buwahahaha: And then they all died. The End!
Origianlly posted by Cotton Moose: AllofasuddenafleetofAudemedonandSalrilianShipsdestroyseverythingandkillseveryoneTHEEND
I think we should ignore these two posts since they are just trying to end something that everyone else is enjoying. So on with the show...
Pike, Ripper, Hades, and Jericoh meet each other for the first time in a long time (about 700 years I think). They celebrate in the bar along with 3 surviving members of W.I.L.L. (who was also coughed up) and C.Jacobs. They decide that they can't be 8 mercenaries so instead they decide to create a new attack force. They would now be known as D.A.R.K. Force (Destruction, Attack, Rescue and Killing Force). They would be feared by renegade, voinian, and parrot alike...
Everything is again at peace. No one is plotting, no one knows what evil is, and no one is suffering. However, purple, red and gray colors are out there somewhere waiting for the right moment...
----------------- Feel the Jive ----------------- (Insert cool quote here)
Distracted by all of the unsucking and rebirthing, no one notices a new ship entering the system. It is the A.S.S Cuisine! But they then saw what it had following it, the purple, red and gray holes! Immediately SOB was angered and confused by this upset of the carefully balanced color wheel. The A.S.S Cuisine hailed him though and explained that it's mission was to use the powers of cooking to take over the universe. Using it's amazing culinary know-how, the A.S.S Cuisine fires a new and devastating weapon that only such a ship could posses. FOOD COLORING! By firing again and again, the Cuisine is able to transform the purple, red and gray holes completely into blue holes. In doing this he re-balances the colors and makes a valuable ally in Shade of Blue. However, not everyone loves food as much as the Cuisine...
------------------ Oh no! It's locked!-Harry Damn it Pam, stop glowing-Harry Eat staples electro-breath-Who else...Harry
(This message has been edited by Ubermann (edited 06-21-2000).)
After a long and difficult struggle, the U.E.S. Iron Fish sets out to create a new colored hole. (Note: there are only blue and turquoise holes, no (surviving) red, orange, yellow, etc.). It secretly steals some food coloring from the A.S.S. Cuisine and uses its powers from the 6th dimension (where logic doesn't exist) to change the color from blue to orange. It captures the black hole from the center of galaxy M-12 (there is a theory that immensely large black holes are found at the center of every galaxy), colors it orange, and the uses the powers of the 6th dimension (where logic doesn't exist) and changes the hole's shape to that of a fish! The Huge Fish-Shaped Orange Hole (HFSOH) assists the D.A.R.K. Force in defending the galaxy from evil. Pleased with its work, the U.E.S. Iron Fish goes back home to the 73rd dimension....
------------------ "U.E.S. Iron Fist, request permission to dock." "Permission denied." "Up yours, Voinian scum!"
D.A.R.K. hears a small distress call in a small pocket of the universe. They decide to head towards the system to find out what it is. As they arrive in the system he finds Red Warrior. He is the creator of the rare red holes. He is being attacked by thirty renegades and his red holes are destroyed. He fires two plasm bursts but that doesn't even phase the raiders. D.A.R.K. quickly moves in. The renegades knowing that they are outmatched hyper out of the system. Red Warrior thanks the attack group and then rewards them with enough red dust to create a red hole. Pike places this in his cryo-freezer for later use. As Red Warrior thanks them again a new person hypers in. It is Purple Persephonie the creator of the even rarer sight, a purple hole. She (that's right SHE) unleashes 5 of her holes to destroy the Warrior. Pike roles his eyes as he tells half of his group to go after the holes and the other half to go against Persephonie. As if it wasn't bad enough, Ugh arrives with his semi-intelligent gray holes. Pike and Ripper decide to go after the slow Ugh...
A mysterious man comes into the Jest system. His cloak flows in the wind as he comes out of the fold in time. He looks just like ShadeOfBlue but he is a shade of turquoise instead. He checks his interstellar watch to see what time he is in. It is the year 3512. "Let's see, that was after the Great Battle of the Holes but berfore Interstellar War 3." He looks around a little more and contacts the year 9213 (The year he usually resides in) to tell them that he is going to get the lost turquoise hole that is now somewhere in the Sol system. He remembers creating the hole and how it escaped him in a fold in time. The turtquoise hole is actually one of many. However, it became too intelligant and escaped into this timezone. ShadeOfTurquoise is here to capture it and return it to it's rightful timezone. He bids his 2 escorts to go to the nearest nebula to create a navy of turquoise holes and then rondavoe at Sol. You see SOT isn't just a SOB look-a-like, but he actually is SOB. He is the future version. Through the centuries his color became lighter an lighter until he became turquoise. Now he is in the current timezone to retake the hole...
------------------ Feel the Jive ------------------ (Insert cool quote here) ------------------
The captain of the A.S.S Cuisine realizes that his three new blue holes are not his style(he's a fuschia kinda guy)and contributes them to SoB's cause. He then goes to bar after bar and eventually finds Shade. Once there he learns the completely illogical way to get into the sixth dimension(go figure). He enters the sixth dimension looking for more exotic foods from distant lands. While there he finds two MNB holes! He is hoplessly outnumbered even with his manly food coloring weapons. He must use his ultimate weapon now...THE FRUITCAKE CANNON!!! He fires rock-hard fruitcakes made by inferior races and obliterates the MNB holes. He is feeling very proud of himself, until...
------------------ Oh no! It's locked!-Harry Damn it Pam, stop glowing-Harry Eat staples electro-breath-Harry
What do you call it if a blonde dyes her hair brown? Artificial Intelligence
Spangled thin cake-Richard Simmons gets his son a cake for his birthday
suddenly the MDT navy jumps in to the 6th dimension. led by the dauntless leader whurp/SOT, the MDT navy annhilates the A.S.S. Cuisine, ending its reign of terror. however, the super intelligent MDT navy fails to notice the A.S.S. Cuisine's escape pods that managed to escape before the ship was sucked up. Whurp/SOT leaves 3 MDT holes in the 6th dimension wearing anti fruitcake armour. the rest of the MDT navy heads off to make more MDT holes.
meanwhile, D.A.R.K. meets ethel whats her face on newfoundland and recruits her into D.A.R.K....
D.A.R.K. Headquarters receives a distress signal from the escape pods of the A.S.S. Cuisine. The HFSOH (Huge Fish-Shaped Orange Hole) is dispatched to investigate...
Elsewhere, the U.E.S. Iron Fish officially goes into retirement, to live to the end of time playing golf, riding horses, and talking with friends about the wars it had fought. Unbeknownst to it, or even the entire 73rd dimension, the fight between D.A.R.K. forces and the purple-hole-creator, the destruction of the A.S.S. Cuisine, and the sudden appearance of ShadeOfTurqoise would have a major impact on the now peaceful life of the Goldfish/Ship...
I just had a thought - ShadeOfTurqoise somehow makes me think of Shaft (Samuel L. Jackson's new character). Could this be an insight into the future of the story?!?
By the time the HFSOH get to the spot where the distress signal is coming from, there is already a brand new A.S.S Cuisine there. Apparently it had been bought from a small sword-swallowing dwarf on a nearby moon. The captain of the Cuisine is retrieving important items from space when the HFSOH enters and sucks up the one remaining item...the recipe for Fuschia Holes! With his secret recipe gone, Captain Ubermann must get another before someone else realizes the great power now inside the HFSOH. He heads off to look for the all knowing U.E.S Iron Fish...
As SOT looks in Sol for the lost turquoise hole (who has secretly hid himself in a molten lava ripple near Newfoundland) is exhausted. He retires to the bar for a quick drink. He looks around at his table to see the primitive styles of his old timezone. As he looks around some more he sees a slightly blue person. Suddenly the color wheel, along with the balance of time, goes right out the window. They both become so enraged with the loss of balance between the color wheel. As SOB and SOT charge each other, SOT thinks better and for a moment overcomes the off balance buzz. He knows that if he touches SOB (who is his former self after all) he would melt and boil and well become an icky mess. You see two of the exact same molecules cannot touch each other or they would die (have you ever seen Time Cop?). Since SOB and SOT are the same person they can never touch each other or they would both be entirely wiped out. SOT quickly escapes the system to avoid SOB for as long as possible. Though SOT wants to destroy SOB but he can't because that would just be killing himself. He plots a way to capture SOB instead...
The orange fish hole (or whatever) tries to rescue the escape pod but accidentally sucks him up into dimension Orange. The fish hole shrugs, and flies away to D.A.R.K. headquarters...
As Purple Persephonie, Ugh, and Red Warrior battle it out, D.A.R.K. slips away back to Sol leaving them to their battle in the middle of the Proxima Nebula. Actually this battle is raising the balance of the color wheel so SOB and SOT get more peaceful towards each other. As Pike returns to D.A.R.K. headquarters he recruits 50 more people (Miranu, Voinian, Azdagari, Idgadzra, Zidagar, Emalghia, Hindwar, and Human who suprisingly are all very peacful towards each other and others) into D.A.R.K. With his anded power along with Ethal's dimension shifting powers and a new red hole (from Red Warriors dust), D.A.R.K. soon becomes the most powerful force in the universe. They change there headquarters from Earth to Newfoundland which is still wedged in Earth's crust. Pike tells Ethal to work her magic and soon the floating province is out of Earth and the molten ripples disapear. Newfoundland is soon turned into a military base for the D.A.R.K. force.The Zachit force soon joins them as well. They now have a huge fleet of ships from every race and technology from every corner of the galaxy. If anyone wants to become a part of the ultimate force, just visit Newfoundland...
The cover of the lost turquoise hole is gone. The molten ripples dissapear and he is in the open. SOT senses this and goes towards Earth besides the threat of SOB...
Originally posted by Jive 320: Though SOT wants to destroy SOB but he can't because that would just be killing himself. He plots a way to capture SOB instead...
And SOT accomplishes his goal. Trapped in a magnetic prism, SOB cannot escape. However, since SOB is trapped, he never gets a chance to turn into SOT. So, in that "Back to the Future style" SOT transorms back into SOB. Realizing he is just improsining his younger self, the older SOB goes back (to the future! ) into his time. However, there's still that turquosie hole...
------------------ -Shade
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