EV Folklore

Hypothetically, If you were to tell your kids a bedtime story based in the EV-universe what would it be about? Can be related to anything in the series or entirely baseless, use your imagination.
If you decide to reply with one please state the 'name' of the lore, the main character, and a brief synopsis. Feel free to reply.

Well, I don't really have a name or much of anything really, but I'd probably just recount my experiences playing the game in story format. Something like an account of my adventures through the EVGE universe. That'd be a lot of fun to tell I guess.

My best EV story...

I was in a shuttle, under attack from three pirate clippers - very bad. I manage to barely get out of the gravity well of the planet and start my jump. I hear that high pitched whir and my ship speeds up "Ahhh, freedom." Think again. Directly between myself and my exit into hyperspace was a single corvette. A single corvette with a single heavy rocket. A single heavy rocket that I slammed into while I was 1/10th a second away from safety and at 20% armor. Needless to say I emerged from hyperspace in the system that I was trying to enter while my ship was still exploding and promptly died. I found it rather amusing, though it was a bit of a setback.

I have no kids, as far as I am aware...

The idea is entirely hypothetical, if you happened to have kids is hypothetical too...
...I don't have kids either, it is just an idea...

mrxak, on Feb 20 2005, 02:36 AM, said:

I have no kids, as far as I am aware...
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Thank the lord. Man, can you imagine?

shudders

Why would I tell my kids bedtime stories about EV? Would I want them to think their dad is pathetic?

Sierra, on Mar 18 2005, 10:45 PM, said:

Why would I tell my kids bedtime stories about EV? Would I want them to think their dad is pathetic?
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if you named your child after your shuttlecraft, it would give him a sense of his history. imagine, a father telling his son, Shuttle 8713, about his delivery of five tons of cow dung to Levo Prime in the Levo system on March 23, 2259. Tearfully, the father could relate of the smell engulfing his ship and the pure joy he felt as the ship descended to the landing platform, the cargo bay heating up, the frozen s### warming until it became an oozing slush of animal waste, leaking through the seals of the cargo containers. He can relate the relief he felt as the dockworkers unloaded his vessel, clothed in hazmat suits as he, the father, waited with a high-powered pressure hose to clean out Shuttle 8713's innards. would that a man tell his boy of such epic adventures!

This post has been edited by antihero : 20 March 2005 - 03:50 AM

And then the child would grow up with severe social dysfunction.

Such concerns are secondary.

Yay, my topic got noticed!

Anywho, I was thinking about space parrots, privateer rumors, and spacer ledgend and the sort but I suppose a detailed recounting of a trash-run could do...

antihero, on Mar 20 2005, 02:49 AM, said:

if you named your child after your shuttlecraft, it would give him a sense of his history. imagine, a father telling his son, Shuttle 8713, about his delivery . . . .View Post

I do telephone tech support and had to mute the phone while I laughed out loud at that one. :laugh: There's probably only a dozen of us in the world that would find that funny, but I thought it was hilarious. Man I love that game.

antihero, on Mar 20 2005, 02:49 AM, said:

if you named your child after your shuttlecraft, it would give him a sense of his history. imagine, a father telling his son, Shuttle 8713, about his delivery of five tons of cow dung to Levo Prime in the Levo system on March 23, 2259. Tearfully, the father could relate of the smell engulfing his ship and the pure joy he felt as the ship descended to the landing platform, the cargo bay heating up, the frozen s### warming until it became an oozing slush of animal waste, leaking through the seals of the cargo containers. He can relate the relief he felt as the dockworkers unloaded his vessel, clothed in hazmat suits as he, the father, waited with a high-powered pressure hose to clean out Shuttle 8713's innards. would that a man tell his boy of such epic adventures!
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...I love you.

antihero, on Mar 20 2005, 02:49 AM, said:

if you named your child after your shuttlecraft...<cut>
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That is udderly brilliant! I could almost smell the dung, and hear it leaking through the seals of the cargo containers.

I wish my father had told me such tales as a child...I would be a much better person knowing that my history was so colorful...

antihero is my hero.

This is good stuff. Too bad my dad was way too young before EV came out. Then I'd think alot different about the world.

I'd tell him about the moral lessons gained from EV. Like "Free things aren't exactly free."

There was that time I jumped "literally" into the middle of a battle between a Fed Frigate and a Reb Destroyer. The Frigate had just disabled the Destroyer and I noticed the Frigate was at about 4% shield strength.

I immediately locked on and took down the Fed with my energy weapon and my Javelins. From the adrenaline rush, I was a little too heavy on the trigger and the Frigate imploded. (Oops!)

On a whim I boarded the Destroyer and against ridiculous odds, I captured it. (Wa-hoo!)

Only on jumping into the adjacent Indie system, did I learn the folly of my ways. For killing the Frigate, I became "persona non-grata" with the Feds. For capturing the Destroyer, I was on the Rebels hit list.

Oh yeah, and the Indie base refused me a landing, and I was low on fuel...!

More and more Confed ships kept jumping in and targeting me. After several frustrating attempts to dodge, weave and sneak away from Reb and Fed ships, I suddenly found myself back on Levo in a lowly shuttle ... but the dad-gum government ships STILL hated and hunted me!!!

"Free" rarely is....

- KK

Doesnt apply to plugs. E2 to be more exact. I was in a Shuttle pilot so I could show the game to my little sister (whose interest in EV is mostly limited to shooting my guns for fun sometimes), and I saw a a Support Carrier in Levo. Amazingly, it was disabled even if it is the toughest warship in the galaxy and can beat a Assault Carrier itself. I got 1.8 million credits... now I could buy a Starglider and give it some outfitting (like Neutron Turrets). And no, there wasnt any Weave ships around to hate me. Besides, since Weave systems are so far way, you need to be deep into Terran plot to have them refuse landing & hunt. So you could say I got a free lunch even if the saying goes that there is no such thing. :laugh:

This post has been edited by General Cade Smart : 14 April 2005 - 05:55 AM