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*Capt. Editor walks into the bar and remembers the memories of the Boozarama.
*Capt. Editor realizes how dumb the Boozarama was.
*Capt. Editor walks out of the bar, only to fall into a bottomless pit conviniently placed in front of the door.
-Kevin
------------------ (url="http://"http://www.AmbrosiaSW.com/")a(/url) (url="http://"http://www.BattleBots.com/")b(/url) c (url="http://"http://www.disturbed1.com/")d(/url) (url="http://"http://www.EVula.com/")e(/url) f g h i j (url="http://"http://www.Korn.com/")k(/url) l (url="http://"http://www.nin.com/")n(/url) m ... d'oh!
Luke looks out the front door.
"Who put that there..?"
------------------ Write your complaints here: O Please don't write out of the space. (url="http://"http://www.evula.com")-(/url)----------------- (url="http://"http://www.homestead.com/lukenj/index.html")"It's spelled Luke, but it's pronounced 'Qkrnxtl.'"(/url)
Penguin drops a few space bombs down the pit and resunes shooting acid.
------------------ "You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose. But you cant pick your friends nose."- Me
<totally off topic introduction>
Guess... Who's.... Back.... (back, back, back, back...) Lyra's Back (back, back, back, back...) ! Back Again! ('gain, 'gain, 'gain, 'gain...) ! This'll freak out Mac! (mac, mac, mac, mac...) ! (/B) <---- Thats to make sure i killed the bold.
A lot of ppl know, judging by the views list on the (url="http://"http://www.AmbrosiaSW.com/webboard/Forum6/HTML/002422.html")original topic(/url), but in a moment of Beeblebroxian-egotistical fury, I had to put something here, too. Plus I liked the idea of an eminem spoof.
The reincarted Lyra strolls into the bar. A hush settles over te crowds as they realize... Sporks are not better than spoons. No one seems to care about the jaunty apperance of an old barfly, and any motivational speeches, recent life events, bb stories etc. being spoken by said barfly are entirely ignored as the bar denizens set out on their new quest for philosophical inquiry. This, too, is quickly forgotten, and everyone goes right back to what they were doing. Needless to say, Lyra's a little ticked.
Well, that is to say, she would be a little ticked, if she existed. Which she doesn't (is that grammatically correct?). Lyra, after being killed by shade's kitty kat some 5 bars back, is now reincarnated as... what else... a squirrel. Not a very large squirrel but not neccesarily a small one either. About 3' 5". Just call him (me... grr luke this 3rd person stuff is killin' me...) Squirrel. Or just ignore this post. whichever you prefer. Squirrel, on the mean time, orders a package of nuts from the 'tender robot.
What happened to everyones fav. punching bag, Insano? Do I get his position?
</totally off topic introduction> ------------------ "A kind word will get you far, but when accompnied by a tommy, it'll get you a lot farther." -Al Capone
(This message has been edited by EvilSquirrel (edited 07-25-2002).)
Penguin shoots yet another squirrel with a hand held proton bolt cannon. Then shoots skyblades fuel tanks and a huge explosion vaporizes the bar as well as the "Restore Bar" button.
(This message has been edited by TheLonePenguin (edited 07-26-2002).)
But unfortunatly, the miraculous restoring powers of Dr. Pepper re-incarnate the bar, as well as the button. No one seems to be able to find penguin, but Squirrel is happily chortling to himself in the corner about the combined wonders of time machines and contraceptives. Squirrel sniffs the air, wiggles his nose in anticipation, and, after squeaking something into a communication device, he greedily awaits the arrival of the Martian fleet...
------------------ "A kind word will get you far, but when accompnied by a Tommy, it'll get you a lot farther." -Al Capone
Penguin looks around him. No bar. Then the bar suddenly regenerates and to Penguins misfortune he is straddleing the spot where a wall would be....
Theepo walks in to the bar and sees half a Penguin on top of the womens restroom. Theepo sees the Rebel Cruiser just siting there with the keys in the ignition so she takes it for a joy ride.
------------------
Jimbob leaps in and sprays everyone with Roach juices, and chugs some down.
------------------ "Once upon a time I went to the park and there was the Hobo feeding the ducks and he was like "Hobo Hobo" and he threw the popcorn to the ducks and the ducks went to eat it but the hobo got hungry and went "Hobo Hobo" and ate the popcorn and the ducks got mad and grew horns and staring stabbing the Hobo to death and dragged him into the lake and he was like "hobo hobo" and no one ever saw him again."
Chirpo's kicking some a**!!!! Roaches surround him, but he has the upper hand. Using his inventions, the Rope-O-Pull gun and the Inst-O-Kill HFG (Heavy Frag Grenade), he clears the Roaches off of the map of reality, and lifts himself to safety. Rock on, Chirpo!!!
<chirp>
------------------ (url="http://"http://www.hollywoodrecords.go.com/scapegoatwax")Scapegoat Wax Official Site(/url) (url="http://"http://www.flashtracking.com/swax/")SWAX: Listen to their songs!(/url) (url="http://"http://www.fruvous.com")Gotta love Moxy Fruvous!(/url) (url="http://"http://www.fruhead.com")Be a Fruhead!(/url)
RC walks into the bar... slightly noding at all the people he hasn't seen for ages. He sits down at the bar and orders a NesTea.
------------------ Need help with(url="http://"http://www.geeksdigest.com/board/ubbhtml/ubbcode.html") UBB(/url)? (url="http://"http://homepage.mac.com/rebel_council/PhotoAlbum2.html") Photoalbum(/url) Need a small amount of webspace quick? Email me (url="http://"mailto:rebel_coucnil@mac.com")mailto:rebel_coucnil@mac.com(/url)rebel_coucnil@mac.com
"Nescau for me, please." Rawzer says. (It's Brazilian cocoa mix.) He is passed a mug of brown powder. "Great," he mumbles to himself. He then uses his belt buckle milk dispenser and heat ray ("Hmmm, kinda warm, feels nice.") to mix a proper hot cocoa. "Ahhh..."
Go get 'em, Chirpo!
In the sky outside the bar a blue, flame-like trail could be seen making its way across the sky. Soon a Corvette, which was visibly damaged, could be identified as a ship leeking plasma and the cause for the strange streak in the sky. It plunged downward in a furious spiral until at last managing to make a very "bumpy" landing outside the bar. The hatch in the side of the beaten up ship opened and smoke poured out, followed by a bleeding a slightly burnt pilot. He staggered into the bar and you could see that he was wearing a uniform bearing the markings of the Levo militia. Everyone stopped their activities for a second to look at the injured man. "I have just participated in a large militia strike on the pirates of this system. Unfortunatly, it has failed and most of us are dead!!" The patrons of the bar said nothing but suddenly lost interest and went back to their previous activities. The pilot moved to a barstool and looked at the bartender. "I'll have something strong. I heard that you weren't owned by pirates, thats why I landed here. Even if you are, I don't plan on starting any trouble. I'm just not going back up there sober!!!"
------------------ RANK: Captain STATIONED: U.S.S. Tempest
Odd. That seems like it would be the best way to fly. (Thanks for the idea, now I'll run with it. ;))
Rawzer stands up and shakes Tempest's hand. "You've come a long way, now I'll help you out. Just sit tight. I'll get you some new ships."
Soon, Rawzer and Tempest have a fleet of about two dozen Lightnings and Rapiers and another dozen Corvettes and Kestrels. Plus a few stolen government ships. They (and any others who would wish to join) head out to New Antigua to have some fun.
------------------ "So this is it. We're going to die." "Would you stop saying that?!"
"Hello, something seems to be happening."
After having a few drinks to call his nerves, he exits the bar to inspect the new fleet of warships. "Yes, this will do nicely." He chuckles a bit to himself. "Well I have enough crew members left off my Corvette to man a rapier squadron. We'll have to recruit for the rest. The pirates won't stand a chance. Another good note: If we are victorious in killing enough pirates, I have a job and maybe a promotion to return to on Levo."
Three words: revenge on Bill Gates. Wait, damn.
With his newly acquired savings account, Rawzer sets off posting flyers to hire crews for each ship in the fleet. Pilots, navigations officers, communications officers, and engineers are badly needed. But, with a pay of 100K per mission, they might not be too hard to find. Even Evildrome pirates joined in on the raid on New Antigua. It turns out that the four pirate systems hate each other. A fact not known by many, but taken advantage of by the few who do. With some new ships and crews to (uh) crew them, the fleet was nearly ready. One by one, the ships blasted off to orbit Evildrome. The waiting continued.
Finally, it happened. Seven Rebel Cruisers and two Confederate Cruisers jumped into the system. It was Ernie Yelts and Rawzer Strogart (no relation), respectively. Not to mention their full compliments of fighters. The fleet was ready, easily.
"Hyperspace coordinates set. Target: New Antigua. Coordinating jumps. Launch in T minus 3... 2... 1... now."
With those words, Theta Fleet set off to its face. Er, fate.
(This message has been edited by Rawzer (edited 08-06-2002).)
Penguin goes to the shipyard and slips the owner a couple credits to let him have all the ships on stock full with crew and sets off for a joup point only rebel officals know that links evildrome to new antiqua and meets Rawzer there and the pirates dont attack me because it would be a fight they would not win with 1 to 10000000000000000000000000000000000 odds and, Damn, those ppirates are smart
Tempest and the rest of his Militia followers sat inside their new Rapier fighters. before they took off, Tempest had made sure that the fighters were equipped with the most high tech (and illegal) pirate weaponry and technology. Hey, the boys back on Levo won't notice if we made a few "adjustments". After every man was ready, the Rapier fighters blasted into orbit and set course for New Antigua, matching the course of the Rebel and Confed Cruisers. If the math was one correctly, Tempest's squadron should drop in aproximatly 30 seconds to a minute behind the Cruisers just in time for support. The squadron of 30 took up a large "V" formation and made thier jump to hyperspace...
Kapowza! Rawzer with the cruisers and warships jump into the system first, and immediately annhialate (sp? help!) the few pirate ships on patrol. Tempest and his squadron jump in a minute later just in time to help with the attack on the planet.
"Attention, New Antigua. This is General Rawzer of the Levo/Evildrome attack force. With me are General Tempest and General Yelts. Prepare to surrender or face blazing laser death."
A few seconds later, a reply cackled over the Sub-Etha Net.
"Aye, General Rawzer, I'm Captain Bloodbeard, elected representative of New Antigua. I don't think we are prepared to surrender, so we'll just have to face that blazing death, huh?" One could tell he was flashing a grin, even though he couldn't be seen. "We will attack at noon, Earth time."
Rawzer thought about this. "Agreed." Then he thought a bit again and asked his information officer,"Hey, Steve, when's that?" "About 15 seconds, General." "Damn."
With Penguins attack Fleet, Penguin locks on to the planit and asks for tribute or you wont have any planit. so they did after defeating ruby, Penguin wonders... i was going for new antqua but i went to ruby... what the hell i am commander of the confeds. YAY!! Penguin Heads out to Persaphone and quanquers it now i am comander of rhe rebels. YAY!! all thats left is the oirates and indapendant systems Penguin makes a jump twords Levo...