Ares Chronicles:

The Exile of the Qzan: Nak'goek.

I am a Qzan, that is what we will be called by all, not the name you give are system. My name is Nak'goek, pronounce it as you want it doesn't matter to me. I was finished 500 earth years ago, or I should say my brain and my first body were. You see we no longer have reproductive capable genders, only classes of genetic donors: male and female. I myself am a male class genetic donor.
The way we reproduce now is through selection of the best genetic material from each person (if available) and then combining it. After that we put it inside an egg (also consisting of the best genetic material from a female donor class). Then we incubate it inside a machine that is filled with a nutrient rich liquid. In about 5 months you have a new Qzan, fully grown. Education takes about four years of intense brain downloading and field experience. As soon as (and partially before) one is finished being grown, several cybernetic attachments are applied permanently to ones body. Millions of nano-bots are injected into ones blood stream before birth (if that is what you would want to call it), their purpose is for organic repair. There are many other attachments as well, but probably the most important one is the Mind Socket. It is vital to ones education and machine control, its a inletoutlet port that interfaces with the brain, you can put information in, you can send information out, but nothing can be destroyed and the user doesn't have to accept the data if heshe doesn't want to.
About 29 years ago my old body died, luckily my brain was recoverable and being a major player my peoples technological and battle advancements I was able to have a brainless body available for transplantation. People who are classified as very important (like I once was) have the power to have a back-up body in case their current body is destroyed. Very few of us think there is anything morally wrong about this, all that we really value is mind, the rest is just considered a complex bundle of chemicals. I cannot exactly remember the time in between my old body and my new one. All I remember is everything fading out, than (seemingly) instantaneously fading in again. Very strange experience indeed. But not as strange as the one I was about to have to face in my new body....
“This is the UQM battle-cruiser The Decimator, surrender all of your battle capable ships or be destroyed.”
“UQM Decimator, you are only one ship, are whole space fleet consists of 2376 ships, not including the non- what did you call them? ‘Battle capable ships’, if you think you stand a minute chance against all of us then you are all fools!”
“This is your very last warning, surrender or be wiped out!”
“How dare you insult us! You had better hope that we don't catch you alive or you'll wish you didn't survive! Attack at free will!”, then seconds latter bright pulses of all sizes were appearing from a multitude of Garstlipt ships, hurling towards the Qzan battle-cruiser. “Dodge those if needed, I highly doubt that any will come close to hitting us anyway”, said Nak'goek “The primitive fools!”. One of the larger bright orbs was traveling quickly towards Nak'goek’s ship, they dodged it easily. “How close was that one?” mumbled Nak'goek, “about half of a kilometer sir. But I wasn't sure if it had slight homing capability or not, that is why I didn't let it get close-”
“You idiot! If it was homing capable we would have been alerted by the computer of magnetic targeting fields in contact with our shields! Are you a defect or something?”
“N-no...sir, sorry s-sir-, I was just b-being careful, I-I didn't think tha-”
“No you didn't think, did you? Do you realize that they probably detected us dodging a simple low damaging non-homing nuclear pulse?! They will think that we are scared now!! That we’re showing weakness!! Arrhg! No matter, we will defeat them anyway... give me control of the weapons and piloting systems to my socket panel! I’ll show these primitive bastards who will wish they didn't survive!”, Nak'goek was given control, immediately he went for the closest enemy destroyer. “HAA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAA!”, bursts of raw suspended anti-quark reactions flashed out of the Decimator and hurtled towards the Garstlipt HVD, ripping it apart in seconds causing a massive overcharged explosion. The retreating escape pods were blown apart instantly, pieces of the Garstlipt crew splattered (actually in space it would be shattered) against the windshields of the nearby Garstlipt ships, they were suddenly not so cocky anymore.
An hour later the sector was filled with (some still flaming) debris. All of which was from Garstlipt ships, the lone Qzan battle-cruiser had wiped out every single ship in the system that had weaponry. Actually all of the Garstlipt fighting fleet in any system were non existent, since there are no nearby star systems that they could possibly colonize (besides Qzan’aguat, however unlikely they would have been able to) for 50,000 light years. And it was an hour later that transports for taking over all the planets (including the Garstlipt home world) were jumped into the system. A whole race, decimated in an hour (by one battle-cruiser), taken over completely in two. At first, Nak'goek was proud of himself, in till afterwards when he heard of his governments plan for the Garstlipt...
“What?! What do you mean? I thought we were just going to force them to co-exist with us so we can get to their resources!”, argued Nak'goek,
“What!? Are you crazy? Why would we want to co-exist with ‘them’? After all, they are.. well lets see” , Khnk’tca was inputting a word list onto a screen, “they are... how about ‘insanitary’, ‘primitive’, and ‘unintelligent’. Those sound like some good justifications for eliminating them entirely, don't you think so Nak'goek?”, Khnk’tca was giving him the Qzan equivalent of a smirk. “What? They may be primitive, but I've seen no signs of them being ‘unsanitary’ or ‘unintelligent’! So where did you get this data from?”, inquired Nak’goek. “We will...”, said Khnk’tca discretely and loudly “get at their systems resources, but we will not co-exist with them. That is final, they would rebel and cause us unwanted and unnecessary problems. The only solution... is genocide.”, Nak’goek had a look of utter disgust on him. Genocide!, he thought, We are a supposedly advanced and enlightened race of people! How could we stoop this low!? This uncivilized!?
As if he were reading is mind, Khnk’tca said, “Nak’goek damn you! Its too late! There is no turning back now. Your already a tremendous part of this whole thing. You cant betray your people now! Listen to me! We need this! Are race will die out if we cant get enough resources to supply ourselves with! It is either them,” he looks out the window towards the thousands of transports holding the captured Garstlipt, “Or us.” he turned back to Nak’goek, still looking doubtful. “Don't worry. Their deaths will be quick and painless, and we’ve gathered all of their history and data for preservation. We have also stored a couple of Garstlipt in stasis. Everything will work out fine. Okay?” Nak’goek was now looking down, looking as if he was thinking about it from Khnk’tca’s point of view, but in actuality he was looking down because he was ashamed to be the one who decimated the Garstlipt’s defenses, he was also ashamed of the rest of his government for going along with the murder of billions of lives, just so we can build our stupid “victory fleet” that will be used to take over the near galaxy, that is our only religion, he thought, the invasion of the galaxy, how pathetic! And from that day forth, he pledged to put a stop to his government’s destructive ways. But they would never give him the chance.
Nak’goek had just an hour ago announced his views and plans to the rebel underground, but now he had awakened from his sleeping arcove to find six troopers pointing charged guns at him. “You will come with us”, said one of the troopers, it was obviously not a question, “or die right here”, the trooper finished. Nak’goek stood upright, put on his suit, and went with them.
“You, Nak’goek, are being charged of treason!”, announced the supreme enforcer, “Your punishment is exile! You will be placed in this modified fighter configured with an ‘only once usable’ coaxial drive. It will launch you to the near galaxy, traveling at 1000 light years per month. You will reach the rim of the galaxy in about 50 months. The coaxial drive will get you that far and then will cease functioning, forever. There is no possible way to change the course, if you do somehow access the system before the drive disengages you will explode. After the drive has disengaged you will be given full control of this ship, but don't think you can repair the coaxial drive because it runs off a limited amount of an exotic form of energy. So once its off, its off forever. Understood?”, Nak’goek only gave him a disrespectfully blank look, then he said in a last pathetic act of defiance “I hope your nano-bots decide to form a strong acid and use it to painfully take you apart slowly from the inside out!”
“humphh”, grumbled the enforcer, “Those were your last words. Exile him now!”.
The troopers escorted Nak’goek into the oversized fighter (it looked more like a cruiser) and locked him in. The fighters auto-pilot kicked in and the docking clamps released and it quickly took off. When it was about 100 miles from the dockinglaunching station, the coaxial drive activated, the fighters shields suddenly collapsed into lightening like fluctuating strands that started to envelope the ship, which in itself started to look like it was inverting and folding almost as if on an axis we could not see, let alone comprehend. Then the fighter was gone.
Nak’goek woke up and decided to look out the window, behind the fighter (he could see) it was pitch black, but ahead of him it was so bright that he couldn't look at it for more that a second, and in between it was a mixture of the two. Jets of black and bright white streaking through each other like super novas compressed into rays and as if black holes were flattened into beams. Despite the current situation and he couldn't help but think about how beautiful it looked!
His fighter (he now referred to it as his) was actually more like the size of a cruiser, it was only classified as a fighter because it had the weaponry and shielding of a fighter. But it had all the necessary facilities for living. Including something like a mess hall, but made for one. He had enough nutrient packs to last him for 70 months, and the waste (there was very little since almost everything is recycled) was ejected and was always torn to quarks by the unexplainable forces outside the ship. Everything was running smoothly, that is up to the point when he was seven days away from the nearest star system...
“Computer! Why is my ship shaking?”,the fighter was wobbling violently, or at least seemed to because of something interfering with the artificial gravity. The ships computer finally responded, “There appears to be an outside force that is emitting intense gravity pulses at a frequency that is interfering with the coaxial drive”, Nak’goek could hear the scanners charging, “The ship is slowing down from .02314814815 light-years per minute to .0001 light-years per minute, and steadily getting slower...Hold...Scanners have indicated that there is a massive artificial structure, it is the anomaly that is emitting the disruption pulses, we are spiraling towards it. I have permission in the case of emergencies to shut down the drive, I am doing so...now!”.
“Computer! Is the massive structure in range of viewing?”, Nak’goek was just beginning to calm down, but remembering the object made his skin crawl once more. “Affirmative, I am displaying it now”. The structure was huge, had an orange tint, was roughly cubical, and had a curios spike sticking out of the bottom. “Computer! Send a message to the structure: Operators of massive station, why have you pulled me into normal space? I take it as an offense!”, he waited 30 seconds for a response, finally he received one. “Give us your race and identification alien vessel. Or be destroyed, you have 1 minute.”
“My name is Nak’goek, my race is Qzan from the Qzan’aguat system. Now allow me to jump out of this sector before I am forced to attack.”, he checked the scanners, he discovered that he was easily a match for the structure and its guards. “Our sensors indicate that the power levels your ship is generating are much much lower than ours,” said the Audemadon, “You have no way of beating us, even if you out stratagize us.”
They haven't invented energy dampeners yet! They’ll be in for a surprise!
Nak’goek responded, “I will defeat you in both fields! Prepare for battle!”. He put the ship to full sub light speed and went head on with a Audemadon gun ship, he dodged every Inasa pulse fired toward him then swooped around behind the gun ship and opened full fire on to it, in a couple of seconds the Audemadon ship was highly damaged and went careening out of control before its own shields collapsed on itself resulting in an impressive explosion. All of the sudden 15 pulses of exotic Chronon particles went flying toward him in a spread out area. He managed to dodge all but 3. He then made a sharp turn to get a good view of what was shooting at him, three Audemadon heavy destroyers had suddenly surrounded him, they all started firing at once. He went as fast as he could at a “downward” angle from the HVDs, then he engaged the warp drive, which only functioned at a superluminal level of 5000, pathetic for a warp drive. But it was still fast enough to get him away from the somewhat threatening Chronon blasts.
The Audemadon destroyers quickly caught up with him, three more of the intense bluish pulses collided with his shields bringing them down to the shield level of 1300. As quickly as he could Nak’goek swerved around dropped out of super luminal drive and and opened fire on the destroyers. In 15 seconds he had destroyed one and heavily damaged another. Nak’goek than jumped back into warp and went behind the Audemadon inhibitor device and yawed down at it with full power. It was super heated rubble in about 24 seconds. The on board computer spoke up, “The disruptive gravity pulses have ceased, threat over. It is now safe for me to reengage the coaxial drive”
In less than seven days Nak’goek had finally made it to the nearest star-system. He had seen a few videos of it from the ancient probe missions, but they were nothing like this, there were burning bright stars everywhere! He had seen this galaxy from his home planet’s outer moon (one of the few planets in his system where the skies aren't filled with light pollution), but now he was part of it, immersed in it. Beautiful nebulae scattered here and there seemed to fill up half of this system, it may cause some problems when getting to the first inhabited planet, he thought to himself, but the inhabitants themselves could be a bigger problem, but I doubt it. At least I know they are not the same race the had attacked me a little while ago. Nak’goek reconfirmed his thoughts by rechecking the long range sensors, all of the intercepted frequencies didn't have any similar patterns to the ones he received from the Audemadon, the languages were completely different. But even so, Nak’goek was worried, and he should have been.
The nebula was pretty much average, nothing spectacular, just blacks and grays and reds, but to Nak’goek it was amazing, for he had never seen one up close, but it was not long before it lost its novelty, in two days it had already forced him out of warp five times. The preprogrammed destination calculations for the coaxial drive had been cut pretty close, as soon as he was one hour from the planet in the nearest system the coaxial drive had simply stopped, Nak’goek had been traveling for days now on level 5000 super light drive, it was pathetically slow, but it was still faster than light. The now fueless coaxial drive was completely useless, all it did was weigh him down, but it was so meshed and integrated into the rest of the ship that there was no easy way to remove it. If only I knew what it used to facilitate dimensional coaxialation. Maybe some sort of anti-mass? Or perhaps it came from a completely different dimens- (CRACKBOOOOM!!) A large crackling explosion broke Nak’goeks train of thought. He was under attack again.
“Foreign ship! Our sensors tell us that you were coming from an Audemadon outpost! The Audemadon and they're allies are our enemies! Surrender or be destroyed!” That was all they had said, no questions, no introductions, and especially no explanations. Audemadon? They must have been the race that had pulled me out of coaxialated space and had attacked me! I have to let this race know that the Audemadons are my enemies too! “No! You don't understand! I was attacked by the Audemadon! I am not of they're outpost.”
“Then where are you from? That outpost was lightyears away from the rim of the galaxy! Are you telling us you are from beyond the ga-”, the transmission had stopped for a moment, Nak’goek had thought that they didn't believe his story and that they were preparing to attack again, but then he was recontacted, “We apologize, you must understand that we were once very neutral in till the Audemadon took advantage of us. Well allow me to introduce myself”, Nak’goek was relieved, he wasn't quite prepared to take on a whole advanced star system, “I am kDiz of the Badzidan star league, and who might you be?”
“My name is Nak’goek, an ex-inhabitant, an exile of the Qzanaguat system, home of my people, the Qzan.” Nak’goek wasn't sure how the Badzidan would take the fact that he was an exile, they might think he was some sort of dangerous criminal, but they were quite understanding. “Welcome to our system Nak’goek! If you want you can dock with any of our many trading outposts, there you can exchange goods and get some free rations of food or drink. You can also look through are informational databases and catch up on some of the many races in this galaxy, and I bet you many individuals would trade many rations to hear the tales of an extra galactic race! But remember to be careful, you see; there is a war going on, so don't cross anyone. Got it?” Nak’goek responded:
“Yes, I believe I do. Thank you, and don't worry about my shields, what ever that thing was you shot at me, it didn't do any significant damage” The Badzidan gave him what appeared to be they're equivalent of a strange, or even hurt look, Nak’goek couldn't help but smirk (or the Qzan equivalent anyway). Then he engaged warp and went straight to trading outpost B276.
As soon as he stepped foot on the station he did not like it, everyone was staring at him like a freak. Probably just because they've never seen anything like me, he thought, but he knew from the look in their eyes what it really was, hate. No! Thats absurd! How could they hate something they have never seen in their life? All of the sudden an Obiard walked up to Nak’goek and blew snot into his face, the translator had picked up most what he said afterwards, it had been: “I've seen you and your nomadic bastard people! Just a few of your ships had wiped out all sentient life on one of our colonies! Of course the steadily corrupting alliance denied the idea of exotic ships, instead they just blamed the enemy! I hope your people burn in chaos for what they did to my race and others! Bastard!”, and then just as suddenly as he had came towards Nak’goek, he left. People were staring at the Obiard for his uncalled for outburst, but they all looked at him understandingly. Nak’goek just stood there, dumbfounded. There are others!! Others were exiled as well! How could I never had seen this in my years of working for the government?! And why did they band together to destroy lives? What trumped up cause forced these other Qzan into exile? Nak’goek wiped the mucus off his face and slither-walked over to another biped species, this one had two stiff limbs sticking out of its torso, and each limb had five digits. “Excuse me,” said Nak’goek, “could you tell me whats going on here? I’m new to this galaxy.” The Human gave him an interested look, and then said, “Wow! An so you guys are extra galactic! That was always my theory, of course the Ishimans theory, well actually more like statement, was that your ships were experimental enemy ships. So anyway, where are you from? I'm Sarah by the way, a Human.”
“My name is Nak’goek, my race is called Qzan. My home system is located 50,000 lightyears away from the rim of this galaxy. What system is your race from?”
“From the recently liberated Sol system, it was once ruled by the Catharan order. But even though we were less advanced than them, we still defeated them. Hmmm, whats going on you asked? Well it seems that some interesting characters that look like yourself have been terrorizing small colonies with ships that look similar to you own. But I could tell you were not of that group when you walked in here, if you were, well... you would not have walked in here in the first place. There are large numbers of people who hate your kind, you understand?” Sarah then pulled out a computer pad, and started pressing virtual buttons on it. “This was the race you were up against at the jump gate inhibitor right?” She showed him a rotating picture of an Audemadon, he recognized it immediately as the same thing he saw on the communications. screen. “Yes! Those are the things that disrupted my coaxial drive and attacked me! Wait! How did you know about that incident?” Sarah flushed a little bit, then replied, “Don't tell anyone but me and another group of Humans sort of ‘borrowed’ an Elejeetian ultimate long range scanner that was sort of lying around. Apparently they had it linked with a spy probe that was keeping tabs on that Audemadon outpost, which we now know you destroyed. But we couldn't tell anyone else about it, sorry.”
“No, thats quite all right, my people deserve their bad reputation, not just because of what they had done here, but also because of what they did in to closest star system to ours. A year ago that system had 77 billion inhabitants, they are now all dead, we committed genocide on a whole species just so we could take their resources! Thats why I was exiled, because I spoke out against this. I can only imagine why the Qzan in this galaxy have been exiled, well except the fact that seemed to have randomly terrorized and killed millions for no apparent reason”
“They were pirates for awhile,” Sarah explained, “but then they attacked and decimated that Obish colony and were never seen since.”
“Where is-..was this colony located?” Sarah then gave Nak’goek the coordinates, he gave his thanks, and then left the station.
The coordinates also included information about the most efficient jump gate path to the ex-Obish colony, Nak’goek wasn't quite sure why he felt he had to go there, I guess I’m just looking for some answers, or maybe some questions? Oh well, there's the jump gate markers. The jump patrol station informed all the waiting ships to prepare for the jump-gate to open, it finally did, Nak’goek was not very impressed, but he was still pleased anyway.
It took awhile but Nak’goek finally got to the Shal’por system where the planet with the destroyed Obish colony was located. He switched the screen to close view, he was shocked and horrified by what he saw. From this far away he could tell where the major attacks took place for the surface was visibly pot marked in specific areas (most likely the major cities and military bases), A small group of Qzan ships that were similar to mine couldn't do this! This was the work of destroyers and bombers! But why would my government waste those ships on exile? The answer: They wouldn't, this must be a preemptive strike! The invasion of the galaxy has already begun!!
Nak’goek was figuring out where to land, and what he was looking for, when all of the sudden, “Nak’goek,” the computer chirped up, “you are being hailed, do you want to respond?” Nak’goek was forced to brake his concentration and turned it towards the Communication screen. “Yes, of course! Put who ever it is on” Maybe I should have switched it to audio only, I’m not sure I want to know what race it is, even though I know I already know. A Qzan appeared on the screen and spoke to him, “Nak’goek? Is that you?! I don't believe this! I haven't seen you in decades! So they sent you on this one too?”
“What in the Universe are you talking about?! What mission?!” It was his old friend on the screen, Chrs’ka. “The mission! You know? Why else would they send you here-” he stopped talking, then suddenly Chrs’ka’s eyes (all five of them) widened, then he began speaking again, in a questioning-but-I-know-the-truth tone, “They didn't, they wouldn't, would they?” Chrs’ka then gave Nak’goek a more sympathetic look, then Nak’goek answered his question, “I’m afraid so, I spoke out against the genocide of the Garstlipt, so they exiled me.”
“The Garstlipt? You mean we finally decided to take them over? Huh, wow. Uh, but denouncing their genocide Nak’goek? What made you go and do a thing like that? I mean never minding the fact that you shoud have known that the government would never stand for it, why didn't you like it?” asked Chrs’ka completely innocently. Why? Why didn't I like it?! Was I so supposed to be comfortable with the murder of billions?! “Forget about me for a second,” Nak’goek spoke up, “what the doomsday are you doing here? Why did you wipe out this planets population?! What exactly is ‘the mission’?!” Chrs’ka then gave Nak’goek a very crossed look. “We took over this planet so that we could convert it into a ship building base, for the purpose of taking over this galaxy, of course. I’m sorry old friend but you’ve changed, if your not with us and are plans your against us. We cant let any information concerning our mission to be leaked, I'm sorry, I really am.” Nak’goek (knowing what was about to happen) was already fumbling with the controls so that he could attempt to escape, but it was too late. A bright grayish bluish lightening like beam suddenly streaked from the planet and hit his ship, making it useless in seconds. He was adrift and helpless. That was calculated, another second of that Kjos beam hitting the ship would have destroyed me. There going to capture me soon I bet. But at least this means I’ll probably be able to see what they've been up to, and maybe figure out a way to stop them.

TO BE CONTINUED.....

And even before you ask, it was submitted without a title, and so it must remain untitled. I can delete things edit their content, or throw them to the far ends of the forums, but I can't rename them. :frown:

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Sundered Angel ,
The One and Only

Ares Webboard Moderator, and all-around Nice Guy

pretty diddly darn good

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World War 1 was fought with Machine Guns and Cannons.
World War 2 was fought with bombs and missiles.
I don't know what World War 3 will be fought with, but it will be so terrible that
World War 4 will be fought with stone clubs.

Steven Hawkings,
-A Brief History of Time

That was tanj better than the crap Cicion forced on us!

Shut up, nothing. If you want to tell me how you think I could've made my story more interesting, fine. But just going around insulting it won't do anything to anyone, except make them think less of you.

By the way, very good story, Nak.

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-Traek Cicion of the Taeskor

"Never tell me the odds!"
-Han Solo

Ok, Sissyon, Here's how:

  1. Phrase it right. One giant paragraph is confusing and hard to read.
  2. If you're going to make yourself the protagonist, at least put a few flaws in yourself. If you're so perfect, the story gets boring.
  3. Don't be so linear in your terms. Instead of calling something a "Bunker Station" every time you refer to it, call it a station the rest of the times.
  4. You Single-handedly beating up several peaple at once is crap. Total crap.
  5. This Story doesn't even mention the Ares universe, and so doesn't belong here.
  6. Face it: there will be no knives as weapons in the future. Not in the 25th century.
  7. They shouldn't be called Stories. They should be called Exercises in Ego Self-Gratification.

You can expect me to post a much better (that's not saying much) story soon.

That wasn't a frelling ego story! The ONLY reason why ANYONE would think that would be because I beat some people in single combat and multiple combat. My character is that of an elite infiltrator. Wouldn't you think one of those would be able to handle some thugs in a bar and some low-life criminals who were working for money alone? If I had single-handedly taken on actual Nijayias soldiers with the quickness that I did the toughs, then it might be considered as ego-boosting. Remember, when I took on the other Phylydion, who's people had been apart from main Phylyd society for more than a hundred years, I would have lost if it weren't for my ship. And as I have said before, the only purpose of the story was to explain Darrk's absense.

Thank you very much for the tips, though, even though I don't need them. That story was a pretty bad example of my writing. I look forward to your story.

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-Traek Cicion of the Taeskor

"Never tell me the odds!"
-Han Solo

Thank you to all who liked it, I just hope that imposter doesnt take credit for it. Which reminds me, you do you change your name and still be a member like Cicion did?

Naturally, Cicion had to be the best character in the story...

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World War 1 was fought with Machine Guns and Cannons.
World War 2 was fought with bombs and missiles.
I don't know what World War 3 will be fought with, but it will be so terrible that
World War 4 will be fought with stone clubs.

Steven Hawkings,
-A Brief History of Time

Who else would have been? There WERE no others in the story, and that's how it had to be, since this was a one-man infiltration mission.

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-Traek Cicion of the Taeskor

"Never tell me the odds!"
-Han Solo

Quote

Originally posted by Taeskor Cicion:
**Who else would have been? There WERE no others in the story, and that's how it had to be, since this was a one-man infiltration mission.

**

And I think that for most people (or for me at least,) therin lies the problem. You were the only character with any emphasis. And personally, I don't think that beyond your superhuman abilities and the fact that you grin roguish grins occaisionally there was much to make your character 3-dimensional. He seems more like a walking death machine or something, and that probaly wasn't intended, but even the confrontation with the other Taeskor took about 5 sentences to resolve. It came across as "Oops, can't beat this guy right off the bat, tap this button on my belt and ZAP! Can't slow me down for long." That probably wasn't intended, but that's what it seemed like. Just a pointer.

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We woke up one morning and fell a little further down, for sure this is the valley of death.
I open up my wallet, and it is full of blood.
-Godspeed you Black Emporer!, Dead flag blues

Newt, thank you. I am truly grateful for you putting in a comment which is intended to help me with the story and not somewhere slipping in a brainless insult. I salute you, sir.

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-Traek Cicion of the Taeskor

"Never tell me the odds!"
-Han Solo

Good story, but I can't help but feel that the polotics were a little flat. Too much emphasis on blasting fleets away when compared with message about the Qzan's "manifest destiny" motive. The only other problem was the use of ARE instead of OUR. Masterfully written otherwise though, so excuse my perfectionism.

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Throughout their history these "unenlightened" beings have continually opposed and fought abuses of power wrought by their own bretheren. We, as the prophets would do well to learn from these Humans.
-Final statement of the Salrilian reformist Sirthis shortly before his execution.