EV/EVO Chronicles: No Choice: Chapter One, In the Beginning

No Choice
Chapter One: In the Beginning
My first story ever and my second post ever, all critisim is appreciated. (be honest)
Engage in 5,4,3,2,1... hyperspace drive engaged.

The first light speed trip for anyone is always going to leave a profound impression which will probably last for that that persons life. And this was little rule held true for me as well, it was astonishing how all the colours blurred and ran together. The stars of yellow, white, and red, mixing with the vibrant blues and greens of planets with sliver streaks of satellites that hovered above the normally round looking celestial body's. It was all so overwhelming I'm almost sure I past out once before we reached the first stop on this liners journey across the galaxy. Our first stop just happened to be the frozen world of Georgia. Having come from Earth I had experienced cold weather and snow but never to the extremes that belonged to this planet's summer season. Nevertheless it felt so odd to be on a whole other planet trillions of kilometers away from the place where i had spent all fourteen years of my life.

As soon as I had hit fourteen and thus the Age of Responsibility, I made the decision that I would take the hundred grand that my grandparents had left for me and take the full trip around the galaxy to see if I could learn about the place that thousands of species call home. I thought that this would be the best way to learn before I purchased my own ship and tried to start a career as a pilot of some kind. It seems odd that all I want to do with my life is own a ship, I really had no idea what I'd do with it but I wanted a ship more than anything. Unfortunately I seem to getting ahead of myself because as of now I'm still on the frozen world of Georgia, the first stop on my tour.

Despite the oppressive cold my fellow passengers and I thoroughly enjoyed the different and unique foods, items and services available on this planet. And even though it probably sounds awfully cliché it felt like it was all over too soon, and all of us would be adventurers were forced back into our tiny cubicles aboard the star liner that would take us the the rest of the way.

Again through hyperspace we traveled and I still was amazed by the beauty of the streaked colours and the speed at which it all flew past my viewport.

We came out of Hyperspace and my whole life went downhill from there...

--

No Choice
Chapter Two: Abyss

We came out of Hyperspace in the area between systems were there is nothing but wrecks, debris and blackness. Only this particular time there was a massive moon sized asteroid that just hung there in the abyss, a strange beacon in the near absolute darkness. Our Captain came on over the comm system and assured us that there was no problem and that we would be back on our way in a less than thirty minutes. So I sat there in my room waiting for the notice that we would be continuing...

It never came...

There was a rapid succession of thuds and bangs that rocked the entire ship. I then heard our Captain come over the comm again only this time he was frantic and from the sound of his voice on the verge of nervous breakdown. He told us and i remember his exact words,
"The ship is under attack by what appears to be an organized pirate raid please remain calm and lock your cabin doors. Guards will be sent immediately to ensure your safety."
To me it sounded like a scene out of one of the many movies were pirates come and kill everyone and steal all of their possessions while a ship is stranded in empty space. So the more I thought about it the more I realized that; hey i might not live through this. Because of this, I figured that it would probably be in my best interest to get the f*** out of there. I grabbed the small amount of cash I had and ran out of my cabin. Dashing down the sterile looking corridors, I stopped to look out of a nearby viewport. Thats when I saw a massive Leviathan coming out from behind the asteroid and the tiny Vipers zipping over our hull picking away at our engines and communication array. Now I had a new realization, I wasn't going to get off the liner there was no way.

I don't have any idea how long I stood there in the hallway just watching that behemoth get closer and closer. But what finally shook me out of my trance was the massive thud that shook the whole ship, and from my position at my hallway viewport i watched the entire bridge float away. That was one of the most disturbing images I have ever seen, a rather large and important piece of the ship that you are flying on just floating away as tiny floating bodies drift out. But there was no time to dwell on issues of that nature, I was going to die in a matter of minutes with other options available to me.

Fate has a funny way of placing you in a bad situation and then suddenly taking you out and putting you back into a worse one. And it happened to me.

It turned out (not for the better) that the pirates were not after just money but that they were also after the crew, and the passengers of the Star liner. Sadly enough I was not going but instead I was thrust into some five and a half years of seemingly endless and meaningless slavery along with thousands of other equally unlucky souls.

The raiders came aboard the ship and flushed the entire population into the main cargo bay where they divided us up into different groups to be shipped by the Leviathan to there mining world, shipyard and manufacturing plants. Myself and the rest of the younger men/boys were loaded aboard first to be sent off to the main station where we would become household slaves for the pirate lords who made their homes there.

Heres where my life took another although slightly brighter turn...

(This message has been edited by moderator (edited 11-15-2003).)

(This message has been edited by Split (edited 11-15-2003).)

Very original. Watch typos, though.

------------------
You know, I was going to let you become part of my most erotic fantasies, but you can just forget it, write it off!
I keep thinking there has to be something better out there, because if there wasn't, I'd just curl up in a larval position and weep.

Nice philosophical start...could be a bit longer. YOur sentences need a little more structure, and your character could use a little more background. Who was grandpa? does this adventurer have a spacing background? How does he know what a ship's bridge looks like?

Cheers,
Guapo

------------------
"Quote it, paraphrase it, soak it in peanut oil and set it on fire. I don't mind in the least." - forge
Founding Member of WORRPBOITAMPSH
(url="http://"http://guapohq.jonpearse.net")GuapoHQ - for all your Guapo needs(/url)
(url="http://"http://insanekp.tripod.com")The Insane Klown Posse Website!!!(/url)

Oooooh, bleak and depressing.

Me likey

------------------
Man have pity on man

Thanks for your inout. Ill get started right away on the rest of it (im currently planning about another 4 chapters realeased in pairs)

thanks again

-split-

------------------
People just dont see it- they want to you to just skate in a skate park. You cant have a pro career in a skate park.