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I Earth, 3 Weeks Earlier
The prisoners filed into the interrogation room. It was rather large for a prison room. The roof of the room was four meters above the floor and the room measured about 40' by 30'. The entire room was made of concrete and painted gray. The purpose of the room was to cause depression in its visitors, allowing the interrogators to get more information from the demoralized prisoners. On the north wall was a large panel of reflective black glass. Two troopers, both in full combat armor, guarded the only exit, a door made out of six inches of durasteel. The troopers' faces were hidden by the visors of their helmets, and their bodies were very bulky in their armor. Both troopers carried a C-10 automatic proton rifle; with enough recharge packs to supply a small squad.
The prisoners came into the room and stood in a line on the south wall. They were all dressed in the ragged orange prison uniforms, and looked like they hadn't had a bath in weeks. Once all the prisoners were inside and accounted for, one of the heavily armed guards began his way to the north side of the room, and stood in front of the glass panel. A voice came on an intercom in the room. "Let's begin shall we? Don't try playing dumb with us; we know that you know why we have brought you here. You have been found guilty of treason. All we want is any and all information you have on the Rebellion. If you give us what we want, we might let you off easy. So, who wants to go first?" At the sound of this, many of the prisoners began to fidget uneasily in their places.
"Look at that. They're nervous. They obviously know something," said Lieutenant Davis to some officers in the room behind the glass panel with him. Back inside the interrogation room, one of the prisoners began to talk. Lieutenant Davis turned the intercom back on so that he and the other officers in the room could hear what the prisoner was saying.
"You will not get any information out of us! You vile tyrants, you care nothing for the people! The Rebellion will—" There was a bright flash and the sound of a laser shot. The prisoner stopped in mid-sentence, shocked, unable to speak. Blood spread around the scorched hole in his prison uniform. He fell back against the wall, leaving streaks of blood on the concrete. His body slowly came to a halt, slumped up against the wall, as his upper torso slid to the ground, a pool of blood spreading across the floor from his body. The other prisoners stood shocked, afraid to move or speak. Then, the intercom came on again.
"I see some of you do not wish to comply. As you can see though, we can take care of that. You still have a chance to get off easy. We will give you until tomorrow to think it over. If you still choose to be obstinate, you will suffer the same fate as your friend here."
With that, the two guards escorted the prisoners out of the interrogation room. The prisoners still looked a little shaken, and some of them took final glances at the dead prisoner lying on the floor before exiting in the same fashion as they had entered. Once the prisoners had left the room, prison staff hauled the body of the executed prisoner, and began to clean up the floor where he had fallen.
Lieutenant Davis turned to face the other officers in the room behind the glass panel. "Captain Raiken, I can't thank you enough. The Confederation will greatly benefit from the information from these prisoners. I still can't believe you were able to retrieve that many men from a Rebel Cruiser unharmed. I will transfer one million credits to you and your crew's accounts. We will also begin repairing and resupplying the C.S.S. Liberation, as well as apply a layer of tritanium armor to her hull. The entire process should take about three days, so you and your crew can rest and have a little break." said Davis.
Captain Raiken, still looking through the glass panel into the interrogation room, was appalled at the ruthless murder that had just taken place. "Lieutenant, there is one thing that I still don't understand. Why did you kill the prisoner?"
"Ah, Captain, if the prisoners are unwilling to cooperate, we no longer need them. That little show of power also gave the other prisoners and incentive to tell us what they know." said Davis.
"Yes, I know what you're saying, but did you have to execute the prisoner by that means? It was almost like you were slaughtering an animal."
"Captain, they are animals. They are savages who wish nothing but to cause terror and disorder. They should be treated like the beasts they are." With that, the Lieutenant ended the conversation. "Now. You and your men rest and have a good time on your break. We are all proud to have you in the Confederate Navy. Now relax. You deserve it." The two saluted and Raiken walked out the door in the back of the room. "He asks too many questions that could get him into trouble." Davis thought to himself.
The crowded streets of New York were booming with all kinds of activities. There were people walking on the sidewalks, cars driving on the streets, and hovercraft flying in the air above them. There were small shops to large stores, small apartment buildings to huge skyscrapers reaching hundreds of feet into the sky. The New York Spaceport was a massive structure of an odd architectural design. It was the second largest structure in New York, comparable only to the World Business Center, which was a superstructure consisting of five towers in an ‘X' formation, with large walkways every fifty floors connecting the towers to each other. The outer four towers were 1,852 feet tall, and the central tower was 2,206 feet. The spaceport however, looked almost like a giant flower. It stood at 1,260 feet tall, and could support up to twelve luxury liners at a time on its landing deck. The landing deck was on top of the structure, and looked like a bowl with the larger flat side on top. The base of the spaceport was the same shape as the top, only upside down. The two sections of the spaceport were connected by a giant column, which contained most of the lounging areas including hotels, restaurants, and shops. The structure was also supported by large pillars to keep the top half from collapsing.
Raiken walked out of the military prison building, and caught a hover cab to the spaceport. When he arrived, he paid the cab driver and went in. He then took a private elevator up to floor seventy-five. He then walked from the elevator down a hallway and took a left turn, walking straight to the officers' lounge where his crew awaited him. When he walked in the door he was greeted by his anxious and somewhat bored crew.
"Hey boss. It sure did take you a while." said chief engineer, Santiago Cortez.
"Better late than never." replied Raiken in a relaxed and gentle voice.
"Anyway, I've got some good news for all of you so listen up. As of now, we are on a three day vacation." Everyone in the room gave a loud cheer and rejoiced at their well-needed vacation. It was also a well-deserved vacation. They had worked long and hard for quite some time on board the C.S.S. Liberation non-stop. Raiken stiffened, and the crew began to settle down. Once they had regained most of their composure, Raiken continued. "The Confederate Navy thanks you, and is proud to have such fine men and women under its cause. You have done well, and I applaud you for it. But it seems some of you are not present at the time. Where is the rest of the crew?"
Santiago answered Raiken's question. "Oh a lot of them went to the hotel and to get some food to eat. The rest of us decided to stay and wait to get news from you. Speaking of news, did the prisoners have any information?"
Raiken turned to face Cortez. "No. They didn't give any information. One of them was executed for back talking, the rest will be questioned again tomorrow, and I'm going back in the morning." Raiken said with a sigh. Jana, who was in the room at the time, was taken aback.
"They executed a prisoner for back talking?" she blurted out surprised.
"Yes. He was saying something about the Rebellion taking over and they shot him." replied Raiken.
Jana persisted. "But they-- they can't do that can they?" she asked, shaking a little nervously.
"In my own opinion, no. But I think that they can execute you right on the spot if you're found guilty of treason, or if you even mention anything about the Rebellion that could be threatening to the government." said Raiken.
"I suppose you're right, but it just seems so cruel to me." Jana answered.
Raiken sighed again, and hardened his disposition. "Now is not the time to question Confederate policies. This is the end of our conversation." he said in an authoritative tone.
"So who wants some food? I'm starving," said Cortez after a momentary pause.
"That sounds good to me." replied Raiken. Everyone agreed on it, and began to leave the lounge.
After they had all eaten, they went to the hotel where they and the rest of the crew were staying for the rest of their vacation. "Alright. There's two to a room so you need to spread out. You can relax a bit, but we are still on Confederate regulations. No men and women in the same room. Now go on and get some rest." said Raiken before everyone went to their rooms.
I've decided to put the next part of Chapter I in seperately because it might be too long in one installment.
(This message has been edited by moderator (edited 02-04-2003).)
(This message has been edited by Spaceiscold (edited 02-04-2003).)
Very, very good. I like the gruesome description of the guy getting shot, too.
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Why thank you. I always like to be very...descriptive. You might have noticed that the name of the ship, C.S.S. Liberation had changed to C.S.S. Liberty. That was a mistake I made while writing it but I have fixed it now.
I hope I can continue working on the story quickly and get the rest of Chapter I done so we can get back to space.
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It was well written with a semblance of a plot. I do hope there's more.
One little reality issue (not to piss you off or anything): If a person suffers some sort of burn wound (your guy who was shot in the chest0, especially one that involves scorching, there would be a lack of blood.
------------------ Man have pity on man
Oh, you must have misunderstood. The prisoner's clothes were burned around the hole in his chest.
Edit: Oh yeah, have you read the introduction yet?
Why doesn't anyone comment? If you don't like the story, then tell me! It's better than being silent.
I'm just glad to see another story set in the origional EV universe, the one I personally liked the most.
The only things I saw that could use any work were the following.
There is almost too much explaniation of the prison cell. Try to mix some of the details into the later text and have the area become gradually clear. Dickens is well known for trying to explain everything at once and you don't want to go down that road.
Also, use a few contractions when people are taking to each other. It is more natural and speeds things up a bit. By not having the Confeds use them, though, you can portray their stoicism.
Other than that, I was truly impressed and amazed with what you have written so far. Details and story line is all very coherent and enjoyable. None of the charactor interaction is slow or hasty, a common problem. And I think this will be a absolute contender for best story when it is done.
And at first a laser burn wouldn't bleed but the pressure of the still pumping blood or even just plain back pressure would eventually cause the burned flesh to give and bleed. Its only hands and feet and flesh wounds that stop when burned. Just a little fact for intrest reasons. ;>
------------------
Thanks for the comments, Wolf.
Quote
Originally posted by Wolf-sigma: I'm just glad to see another story set in the origional EV universe, the one I personally liked the most.
Yes, I agree. I really like all the EV's, but something just keeps bringing me back to the original.
**And at first a laser burn wouldn't bleed but the pressure of the still pumping blood or even just plain back pressure would eventually cause the burned flesh to give and bleed. Its only hands and feet and flesh wounds that stop when burned. Just a little fact for intrest reasons. ; >
**
Yes, considering that and, if it went through his heart, there's so much blood there it probably would bleed anyway.
Have you read the intro?
(This message has been edited by Spaceiscold (edited 02-06-2003).)
Nice story. Like it. When is the next part comming out? Also preety sure that a severe burn would not bleed. Do to all the heat all the blood vessel are cautraized (spelling wrong) Meaning that there are burned closed. So not bloods vessels for blood to leak through
------------------ The brave are always the first to die. No Retreat! No Surrender! Death Before Dishonor
Wouldn't it suck not to be able to afford a hovercar and have to drive in a car with wheels? I couldn't imagine. Great story, dude. Quite excellent.
Originally posted by Omran Khan: **Meaning that there are burned closed. So not bloods vessels for blood to leak through
Sorry, what?
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(This message has been edited by Rawzer (edited 02-07-2003).)
"And at first a laser burn wouldn't bleed but the pressure of the still pumping blood or even just plain back pressure would eventually cause the burned flesh to give and bleed. Its only hands and feet and flesh wounds that stop when burned. Just a little fact for intrest reasons."
You know, I was wrong...kinda. Lasers would act like that on a body. A photon gun works not unlike a rail weapon. It speeds up particles to extreme speeds and bombards the target with them, ripping everything apart. So it would burn the cloth of the uniform and then rip that prisoners entire torso open. So your description of the incedent is perfect Spaceiscold.
Yay! Im not wrong for once!
Its really great, my only suggestion is that the following passage is a bit stiff:
Otherwise its great.
Andrew
Originally posted by Andcarne: **Its really great, my only suggestion is that the following passage is a bit stiff **
I dont see what you're getting at.
He means that the sentences don't flow, they're all short and... stiff. I'm not sure how to explain it.
Oh, I see what you mean now.
Don't change that "stiff" bit. It makes the Confed dude seem more threatening.
(my $.02!)
Cheers, Guapo (inflation adjusted)
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