EV/EVO Chronicles: The Meshlord

"Sir! Two Aurorin ships, sneaking up behind us!"

The captain of the huge Leviathin paused for a moment, then barked his command. "Attack plan EMF 5!"

Four Hellhound missiles roared out of the rear-facing launchers, then two modified Vipers flew out of a well concealeed bay and launched their radar missiles to disable the ships, and used their tractor beams to bring it into the the range of the Meshlord's tractor beams, which brought the Auroran Abominations into the docking bay. The Vipers flew into their bays promptly after.

"Any feds see that?" the captain asked. There was a pause before the reply.

"Yes, sir. Two Vipers and a Destroyer."

"Attack plan EMF 692."

Five Hellhound missiles were launched. Three struck the Destroyer, one per Viper. Two EMP torpedoes finished off the Destroyer, and it was disabled. Once again, the ship was brought into the docking bay.

"Okay, let's hyperspace on route H687."

-----------------------------

Once, the captain had been innocent. His name was Kain Lightningduck, or at least that's what the pirates called him. He had been the pilot of a shuttle, ferrying cargo from system to system. But then the pirates disabled him on a regular run, and they spared him because he said he would do anything, and they were short on pilots.

They showed Kain a holovid of the horrors of the Federation, and that converted him. Utterly. He piloted a Viper then, and ruthlessly hunted down and destroyed all small Federation ships, once even taking out a destroyer. He advanced quickly through the ranks then, and decided on an unprecedented course of action. He bought a Leviathen, armed it and upgraded it, and christined it Meshlord. He ferryed pirate cargo, but could equally well destroy Federation fleets. Also, whenever the pirates needed to test some new technology, they turned to Kain. He was in the midst of such a mission right now. He was testing a modified Viper, with new spatial enhancements on it that promised the fall of the Federation.

(This message has been edited by moderator (edited 11-04-2002).)

Great concept, but way too short.

------------------
(url="http://"http://www.evula.com/")EVula,(/url) your friendly (url="http://"http://www.evula.com/")self-promoting(/url) EV & EVO Boards/Addon/Newswire/Chronicles moderator
(url="http://"http://www.evula.com/")evula.com(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.evula.net/")evula.net(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.evula.org/")evula.org(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.ev-nova.net/")ev-nova.net(/url) :: (url="http://"http://forums.evula.com/")Lair Forums(/url)
(url="http://"http://pftn.evula.net")pftn(/url) | (url="http://"http://dreamwave.evula.net")dreamwave(/url) | (url="http://"http://davidarthur.evula.net")davidarthur(/url) | (url="http://"http://ucplugs.evula.net")ucplugs(/url) | (url="http://"http://jager.evula.net")jager(/url) | (url="http://"http://stark.evula.net")stark(/url)

Very good, length is good enough to get the reader hooked, but way too many typos. Use spell check, it should fix most of them. I like it. But, what did the Federation do? I thought the Bureau was evil.

Also, last line, you said the Vipers had "spatial" improvements. Did you mean special? Either could work, I got confused.

(Two maany speeling erors.)

------------------
All h(url="http://"http://www.EVula.com")e(/url)r fri(url="http://"http://www.EVula.com")e(/url)nds in school w(url="http://"http://www.EVula.com")e(/url)r(url="http://"http://www.EVula.com")e(/url) non-conformists, so sh(url="http://"http://www.EVula.com")e(/url) b(url="http://"http://www.EVula.com")e(/url)cam(url="http://"http://www.EVula.com")e(/url) a non-conformist too.
Hooray for Hype™!
ph33r my (url="http://"http://www.adventuredog.net/images/spoon.jpg")Wooden Spoon of Doom™(/url)
And always remember to Thank (url="http://"http://www.cakemusic.com")Cake!(/url)

The past two posts have been really really short. What is up with that?
Anyway, I like what the story is about, its just written too short. It is especially short if there are not going to be any other installments. Keep working, though. Someday you might be a really good writer....or not. 😛 Just joking. I hope you continue to write, because, well, im trying to raise my karma. 😄

------------------
If my computer crashes, I will go eat cake. If my computer doesn't crash, I will probably go eat cake anyway.

Quote

Originally posted by Spaceiscold:
The past two posts have been really really short.

I've already skipped one story that was deemed "too short" (it was actually a poem, only three stanzas), and the next couple of stories in the queue are somewhat short as well. sigh Perhaps no one cares about writing a long story anymore...

------------------
(url="http://"http://www.evula.com/")EVula,(/url) your friendly (url="http://"http://www.evula.com/")self-promoting(/url) EV & EVO Boards/Addon/Newswire/Chronicles moderator
(url="http://"http://www.evula.com/")evula.com(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.evula.net/")evula.net(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.evula.org/")evula.org(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.ev-nova.net/")ev-nova.net(/url) :: (url="http://"http://forums.evula.com/")Lair Forums(/url)
(url="http://"http://pftn.evula.net")pftn(/url) | (url="http://"http://dreamwave.evula.net")dreamwave(/url) | (url="http://"http://davidarthur.evula.net")davidarthur(/url) | (url="http://"http://ucplugs.evula.net")ucplugs(/url) | (url="http://"http://jager.evula.net")jager(/url) | (url="http://"http://stark.evula.net")stark(/url)

I'll have one for ya soon. Don't worry! 😄

------------------
All h(url="http://"http://www.EVula.com")e(/url)r fri(url="http://"http://www.EVula.com")e(/url)nds in school w(url="http://"http://www.EVula.com")e(/url)r(url="http://"http://www.EVula.com")e(/url) non-conformists, so sh(url="http://"http://www.EVula.com")e(/url) b(url="http://"http://www.EVula.com")e(/url)cam(url="http://"http://www.EVula.com")e(/url) a non-conformist too.
Hooray for Hype™!
ph33r my (url="http://"http://www.adventuredog.net/images/spoon.jpg")Wooden Spoon of Doom™(/url)
And always remember to Thank (url="http://"http://www.cakemusic.com")Cake!(/url)

The first chapter of my story should come out soon. Well, its more like an introduction. Anyway, it should come out soon.

------------------
If my computer crashes, I will go eat cake. If my computer doesn't crash, I will probably go eat cake anyway.

Pretty good-- write more.

That was really god but you should have a second part to it or something cause it was really short. But i liked it anyways. 😄

I noticed the spatial thing to but is it a spelling mistake or meaning the different peramiters of the ship making it seem smaller on the radar or something? 😕

------------------
The assasins the one
that holds the gun but
homeworks the one
that kills you.

Well the prologue of my story is kinda short. But Im probably just going to tag that onto chapter 1. Chapter one is well... long and I hope that it will be enough to satisfy everyone till chapter 2 comes out. But that might take a while. Oh, if you want to get more information on my story, contact me at (url="http://"mailto:tyranicmankiller@yahoo.com")mailto:tyranicmankiller@yahoo.com(/url)tyranicmankiller@yahoo.com

I meant "Spacial", if anybody cares 😛 . But EVula, what happened to the second installment (if you still remember)? Was it too short, too bad, or do you have something personal against me :eek:?

------------------
There are no true experts, only fools who believe they know everything. Believe me, I'm an expert on this.

(This message has been edited by Scalebone (edited 07-07-2003).)

(This message has been edited by Scalebone (edited 07-07-2003).)