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This is the story that immediately follows the original "Flights of Geese." It would help anyone who wants to read this by reading the first one.
Flights of Geese II
The dual suns of the Nerse Primus System awoke me at four o' clock New Babylonian Eastern time, as they shone through my window in all their fiery glory. I went downstairs and made coffee for myself. I then went outside and fetched the paper. I read until my son came downstairs at six.
"Good morning, papa," he said with a tired yawn.
"Mornin', lad," I said with a grin as I stared at his disheveled look. He then grabbed some cereal and milk, and had some breakfast. After his breakfast he grabbed his binder and walked to school with a small, "Goodbye," as he left.
I sat down on the couch with my coffee and sipped gingerly. Then a loud knock came at the door. I walked to the door and opened it slowly, and there stood two figures, one a man dressed in green, and the other one a woman, garbed in black.
"I am Mu' luii of the Mu' hari caste of the Polaris Empire," said the one in Black, "This is Ver' hantrji of the Ver' ash caste. We have come to inform you that the known as James O' Billings is asking for you."
My heart sank, his illness must have been progressing. He must have known it was time. I closed the door in their faces without saying a word, and watch them walk away from the living room window. I knew I needed to get to Polaris space quickly.
My son, Peter, arrived home and I told him, "Lad, I need te go away for awhile. I'll be comin' back though, jus' a lil' later."
"Okay, Papa," he said, "I understand."
"That's a good lad. Now your goin' to be stayin' with yer Aunty Sarah for jus' a lil while, okay?"
Okay, Papa, I understand."
We walked next door to Sarah McNenny's house. She hated me, I knew. She blamed me for involving Sean with the Geese, and therefore getting him killed. I knocked on the door, and she answered with that bittersweet voice, "What do you want Jason?" her English was perfect as she came from Antaria.
"I need you to watch Peter while I leave," I told he dully.
"Why?"
"It's Jimmy," I told her.
"Oh, Jason, I'm sorry. Of course I'll look after him," she said.
"Thank you, Sarah."
I paid them both farewell and walked back into my own home to pack. All I would need were clothes, since my ship still had plenty of dry goods. After I was finished, I took the hov-car to the spaceport.
I stared at my Modified D Class Starbridge, Clover, for the first time in seven years. The fluorescent lights reflected brightly off the fiber steel of the body, and dull glints came from the carbon fiber plates. There were two medium blasters atop the wing structures, the radar missile launchers and light blasters below, the light cannon was below the nose, while the light turret was located closer to the rear. It was a beautiful ship.
I stepped in the small pathway to the cockpit. There was an old, musty smell, like the smell of old leather. This ship was my home away from home for over fifteen years, and I had now returned.
It took three hours to get clearance to liftoff, but finally I was able to fire through the atmosphere in less than three seconds. Finally, alone in the darkness of space, I pointed Clover in the direction of Sol and shot from space time in a flash of light.
************************ 2 weeks Later ************************
I made it to the Polaris System at last. It was empty except for a few floating asteroids, and hydrogen atoms. A point of light appeared and a Pirate Viper jumped in.
"Please surrender your vessel, and prepare to be boar-," the pilot of the Viper was cut off by a huge purple beam that seemingly came from nowhere. It simply made his ship disintegrate into carbon molecules.
I shut down my weapons systems and shields and waited. Then I heard a deep voice, "What is your business in Polaran space?" it asked.
"Me name is Jason Locke of the Wild Geese. I am here to see Jimmy O' Billings," I told them trying to keep calm.
Just as I finished a Raven with red painting along its sides decloaked in front of me. It was monstrous, the first time I have actually seen one. They were larger and more frightening that I have ever imagined. Three Arachnids also decloaked and moved in to flank me.
"Welcome to our empire, Locke," said the voice,"You have permission to land in docking bay four, on the starboard side."
I moved in and landed next to a pair of mantas, and shutdown my ship. I stepped out, and saw six armed Polaran soldiers pointing weapons at me. I raised my hands and did not speak.
"It's okay," said a black robed Polaran, "he truly is Locke."
They stepped away and the Mu' Hari stepped toward me, "I am Mu' livee of the Mu' hari, I am to -"
I cut him off, "Where's Jimmy?"
"As I was saying, I am here to escort you to to Ver'ar Pised in the Ver'avo system. James is there."
"Fine," I said, "Lets go now!"
The Raven lurched forward and turned to port as it pointed toward our destination.
************************ One Week Later ************************
The Raven touched down upon the huge landing center, and I climbed down the landing ramp, and got to the hospital that I was directed to go to.
I arrived at the humongus hospital, and entered the main lobby. Everything was ghastly white, except for the gray robes of almost all the Polarans.
A tap came upon my shoulder, and I turned around, "You are Locke, yes?" asked a Mu' Hari. I nodded a reply.
"James is this way."
I went into an elevator, and it ascended upwards. We arrived on the two hundred and twenty-third floor. The Mu' Hari stepped off and led me to Jimmy's room.
He was lying under a white, wool blanket with his eyes closed.
"I will leave you now," said the Mu' hari. He then walked away into the corridor, and shut the door.
"J...Ja...Jason? Is that really you?" came a soft voice, that did not sound like Jimmy at all.
"Yes, it's me lad," I said, "how are ye doin'?"
"o..k...... I guess," he barely breathed out, "How are Sarah and....an...a.a..-"
"Peter? He's fine, Jimmy. Sarah is being Sarah."
"Peter.....yes, that sounds right. Sarah. She still blames you, don't she? She don't hate you though, she's jus' tryin' to rationalize. She loved Sean."
"I know, and she loves Peter, and you, but hates me."
"It's the she always was. We jus' did so much. Killed too many, and lost too many. We had too much hate. Like when we avenged New Ireland..."
The survivors of the New Ireland nuclear and biological holocaust were now in the Fer' l' Jus system as we prepared to attack Harbor in the Schneall system.
"I turned my Comm to the GUARD channel, "all right, lads, I ain't goin te give ye a pep talk, ye know what to do."
With that we entered hyper space, just to exit into a hellish battle.
We entered Schneall only to find our forces equally matched, about 63 against 67. We had 63 Lightnings, Thunderheads, Valkyries, and Starbridges. We stood against 67 Manticores, Enterprises, Pirate Valkyries, Pirate Thunderheads, Pirate Starbridges, and Pirate Vipers.
Battle cries on both sides marked the beginning of the bloodbath as both sides raced at each other, only intending to kill. I targeted a Class IV Valkyrie and raced to meet it. I was faster, but he was more maneuverable. I fired four missiles at him, but rolled the Valk on its back and shot downwards and left. I went into pursuit, and fired all my batteries at the rear. Two engine nacelles tore off completely, while another remained attached, burning. I then fired another burst into his side, causing the ship to fly apart in a fiery sphere of debris.
I looked for another target, in time to see a pirate thunderhead bear down on us. It's lances broke through our shields, and through the armored deck plating. The beams tore into the cockpit, one grazing Jimmy across his chest, the other barely missed my chair. The emergency shields came online to seal the hole in the hull. I then rotated the ship around to attack, but the thunderhead evolved into a spinning mass of debris from a lightening that flew by seconds later. I put Jimmy onto a cot and patched up his wound in less than two seconds. I finally targeted Harbor itself, and fired all twenty-seven of my remaining radar missiles at the station. They hit with fiery fury, severing entire sections of the station, and causing entire bulkheads to depressurize. The entire station then spun in a counterclockwise direction as venting oxygen gave it propulsion.
My shields were finally back online and I rejoined the fray. I found a Pirate Starbridge, and destroyed it quickly by firing my blasters into the cockpit. It then began to tumble through space until it smacked into a hulk of a viper with a sickening crunch that was darkly remininescant of frost on grass being walked on. Suddenly a huge flash of light illuminated the whole system, followed by an enormous boom, and a class six shock wave. A Manitcore had just detonated. The intensity of the explosion was caused most likely by a fusion reactor filled with weapons grade plutonium.
That was the end of the pirate fleet had come. Now Harbor was left, still spinning like a top. Cries of help came from the station went unanswered.
"Lads, target Harbor, and prepare to fire," I said. Silence followed for several seconds as I took one last look at the station, with all of its helpless inhabitants looking for a miracle. I was not going to give them one, "Fire," I said, and the seventeen remaining ships all opened fire with all their weapons. The station was literally ripped apart by the firepower. It then exploded, sending superheated chunks of fiber steel into the depths. We then hypered out and back to Misfire in the Trishka system, our new home as New Ireland was rebuilt.
"So much death, too much pain," said Jimmy, "We've caused too much, so we get what we gave."
"No one deserves this, Jimmy. It wasn't punishment, it was bad luck. Cancer ain't sent from a god, Jimmy, it was from that pirate. We did a lot o' good too, Jimmy. Don't forget that."
"What was so good? All we used was our hate to fight an' die. Not any more. I' diein' now ,Jason. I have no regrets, only fears of me' comrade's sacrifices being forgotten. I'm happy to have served with you, Jason. Don't let Peter turn out like....u...s."
His breath left him, and I sat down in a chair that was against the wall on the left side of his bed. Everything went in slow motion as the gray robed doctors and technicians rushed in. I stared at the white tiled floor as a single tear splashed against it.
A few hours later, Jimmy's body was frozen cryogenically for my voyage to a place I hoped, and yet feared, to return, New Ireland. The Raven blasted off after everything was stowed. We left orbit of the planet and hypered toward Federation space.
On New Ireland, I stood with two roses clutched in my hands. Joseph Sady stood next to me as I put one rose on the newly upturned dirt.
"I feared to be here again," he said, "Even though I knew this time would come again."
"Aye, now we're the only ones left," was my reply.
"Aye, an' ye will be the last. You were always the stronger one."
"I wish I was strong now."
"You shall recover. We shall meet again, in this life or the next," he said and walked away.
I took one last look at Jimmy's headstone, and then walked away with the other rose in hand. I was going to visit Sean before I left.
(This message has been edited by moderator (edited 01-21-2003).)
Sorry that this didn't go up yesterday, I was in Nashville pretty much all day.
Anyway, onto the story. It's quite good, although there were a few times where the details being given were a little redundant ("he grabbed his binder and walked to school with a small, "Goodbye," as he left for school" got the "for school" dropped). Also, watch your capitalization; I corrected four instances of "i" instead of "I", as well as shifting capitalization on ship names ("manticore", "raven").
Other than that, though, the story is quite good, and the flash back scene was handled well, too. Good job.
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Yeah, another very well written story. You seem to have a knack for this kind of storytelling. It's not perfect, though. Proofread more, and try to fix the few awkward moments. It was, on the whole, very good, though.
------------------ Social correctness has traditionally had nothing whatever to do with reason, logic, or physics. -Douglas Adams, Salmon of Doubt The Aftermath will soon be upon you. Be warned.
Thank you. About the proofreading, one word TOO LAZY (oops two). Anyway, I'll try to curb my laziness next time for my little saga here. A knack? I doubt it, I just end up throwing words together that make some resemblence to sensibility.
------------------ Man have pity on man
Quote
Originally posted by Jas86: Thank you. About the proofreading, one word TOO LAZY (oops two).
shrug No skin off my nose if you don't proofread, as I still have to check every story that comes through here. I'm just here to offer suggestions on how to be a better writer.
I read the first Flight of the Geese and having read the second...I believe you are well on the way to writing high quality stuff. I suggest reading a few books by Micheal Stackpole and (if permissable) a few by George RR Martin. Both of those writers have a very good writing style that I think you could mesh into your own very promising skills. I suggest the Rouge Squadron series by Stackpole as a great contrast.
------------------
Originally posted by Wolf-sigma: **I suggest the Rouge Squadron series by Stackpole as a great contrast.
**
Rouge ("red" in french) or Rogue?
Originally posted by Rawzer: Rouge ("red" in french) or Rogue?
Rouge. Don't forget about the other books in the series: Blush Squadron, Powder Squadron, and Eyeliner Squadron.
Yeah, those were good, until he went completely off and wrote Shampoo Squadron and Conditioner Squadron. Those were awful.
WOW! good job, I like.
EVula, you left out lipstick Squadron, that one is my fav.
------------------ A life, ohhhh, that a new plug-in right? "Borb II of V.S.S Hellfire."
One little mistake...
What mistake? It would help if you just spoke up about it.
No no...The whole Rouge vs Rogue thing in the above posts. Your story was mistake-less as far as I could tell.
Oh, my bad, Arizona hicks don't think to dag-nab well.
And by the way, My third installment of Flight of Geese has just been sent in. Maybe in a few weeks, you will be able to enjoy it.
(This message has been edited by Jas86 (edited 01-31-2003).)
I've read both of your short stories and enjoyed them tremendously and I would like to incourage you to copyright them and perhaps submit them to a publishing house. Stories, even short ones, can not only make you money, but can make you famous. You might be thinking "Pfft, Like a house would take this crap idea" , but you'd be surprised, look at the women who writes Harry Potter, they took THAT, how can you go wrong?
(img)http://www.tv.cbc.ca...fx422/jtf22.jpg(/)
------------------ Flavit deus et dissipati sunt. * God blew and they were scattered* ~Anonymous (Inscription on the medallion minted to commemorate the defeat of the Spanish Armada.)
HAHAH, my image didn't work, oooo! fun. wait here we go
The only reason that almost none of the stories that are posted here are published is that they would need an entire book to back the information conatained here in.
I already posted two more, but they were most likely lost among the ever growing masses of stories that EVula must deal with.
Ever start an entry in the designated text box the ambrosia site displays, then happen to need an aid of some sort after writing the first half of your entry, just by chance having clicked on the "reuse windows for shorcuts" option. LOATH THE DAY!, I just lost an entire entry from stupidity in not using an outside text program to write it in, you know I just thought I'd throw in a short story, didn't really need a draft or anything, then hmm, how bout, BLING! wow, there goes an hour of writing... .... .... .. snap it literally went from to :eek: then a combination of :frown: and :mad: and alot of other things but "rats, I don't have an emoticon for what I am feeling"