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The corridor was silent. Eerily silent. The only sounds were those of the life support system humming, the reactor grumbling, and Luke's boots on the cold, metal grates that the pirate ship used as floorboards. Luke turned his flashlight this way and that, but there was no sign of any occupants. Which was, frankly, odd.
Just less than half an hour ago, Luke had been battling a Stolen Tech Pirate Enterprise in his brand new Valkyrie Class III Upgrade. As a budding pilot, Luke was barely able to disable the bulky modified cargo ship, after which he quickly boarded it, greedy for the possible treasures within.
This was one of Luke's first pirate raiding expedition, and with just the little bit of experience he had he could easily tell that something was out of place. But he was not about to leave without some money. It simply would not happen. So, he kept searching.
Finding a command console, Luke was able to bring up a map of the ship's interior. He had never been in a Pirate Enterprise before, and it was just different enough from an ordinary Enterprise to leave him confused and lost. He eventually found the twisted and dank path to the bridge, and started toward it.
Finding the entrance to the bridge, Luke set his code scanner over the entrance code keypad. After a few seconds, the scanner found the code and entered it into the ship computer. The door slid open.
The bridge looked completely ordinary, except for the fact that it was completely empty. No one waited to ambush him. The entire ship was deserted. But, if the ship was deserted, how was it that the ship attacked him?
The only thing that really phased Luke, however, was the credit transfer pad. When he ordered the ship computer to transfer all credits to his ship, the computer maintained that the pirate's account was empty.
Not only that, but there were a few unhelpful displays screens, including one which informed the viewer of the state of the cargo hold. It was empty. There were no luxury goods, medical supplies or even scraps of raw metal on board.
Another screen displayed the hyperspace energy available on the ship. There was just enough for one jump, or 100 credits worth of energy. Luke had enough energy to leave the system, but transferred the energy over to his ship anyway. He might need it.
The whole expedition was a bust. Luke didn't want to take the ship, even if he could figure out how. The entire craft was devoid of intelligent life. Luke found the exit and left, not bothering to check the rest of the ship. He disengaged from the Pirate Enterprise, and simply left. He just wanted to sleep in a warm bed after that fiasco. While traveling through hyperspace back to Nesre Primus, Luke could only wonder what the hell just happened. He didn't really care enough to ponder long, though.
The Pirate Enterprise, however, was not about to just sit in the middle of space. Deep within the corridors, computer systems, and reactor cores, was a small room, almost completely hidden from view. It did not show up on the ship hallway map, and it was nearly impossible to find. It was guarded only by a slightly heavier and more secure door than the rest of the doors on board.
The room suddenly seemed to come to life. It hummed, and even vibrated a bit. In an instant, an unimaginably bright light shone out from underneath, accompanied by a earth-shaking boom. There was relative silence for a few moments, until the door clicked open. It swung inward, and smoky steam poured out. A large, heavily tattooed and pierced man stepped out, and several similar men followed. As they left the teleportation room, they immediately argued about who would be stuck repairing the ship.
(This message has been edited by moderator (edited 01-14-2003).)
Um... odd. For what it was, it was well written, just didn't answer very much about what the hell happened in the story.
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that was good really, the climax was well built up and the story's resolution is quite well thought up.
keep it up
Well, not much actually happens. At all.
Luke disables a ship. The ship is empty, even though he was battling it fiercely. He leaves, discouraged. PIrates teleport back into the ship.
It's just highlighting the usefulness of pirate teleportation devices. I thought it was good!
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Good story.
NOW! tell me what happens next!!!!
------------------ A life??? Ooo thats a new plug-in right? "Borb II of V.S.S Hellfire."
Well, Luke goes to a hotel somewhere on New Babylon and spends the night. The pirates fix up their Enterprise enough to get to Gefjon, to land on Thror and complete the repairs. Or something like that.
Its great Rawzer. I really like it.
A regular Charles Dickens or Stephen King! Interesting, haunting, and ominous. It also left a lot of room for many a more sequels.
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I dunno. I still think that the action is pretty much over.
But I have gotten several requests for a sequel...
Quote
Originally posted by Rawzer: But I have gotten several requests for a sequel...
What?! Sorry, but the term "sequel" just shouldn't apply to something this short... "continuation", yes, but "sequel", no. As I said, there was nothing wrong with your story, but I think that to make a sequel to it, like this one story is an entire book, is just weird word usage.
It may just be me, though.
I wasn't calling the continuation a sequel! I was merely stating what other people requested. If you look in Jas86's post right above my last one, he clearly says, "It also left a lot of room for many a more sequels." I know it was short. But it was short and to the point...
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