Your browser does not seem to support JavaScript. As a result, your viewing experience will be diminished, and you have been placed in read-only mode.
Please download a browser that supports JavaScript, or enable it if it's disabled (i.e. NoScript).
Chapter 1
Kelsey Dunn got into her new Manta. She had joined the Rebellion Star Fleet a month ago here on Palshife. Now the Third Rebel Fleet were going to an expedition to the Clotho system where a group of Confederates had gathered. They were laying siege on Clotho Prime. The Third fleet had 4 Rebel Cruisers, 6 Rebel Destroyers, and 20 Mantas. The Mantas were all waiting in the Rebel Cruisers for their time to strike.
Suddenly, her radio crackled. "We're taking off now."
------------------------------
Two days later...
The fleet emerged from hyperspace into the Clotho System. A number of Confederate cruisers and frigates were battling the stellar defense units of Clotho Prime.
"All right guys, let's kick some Confed butt!" The captain yelled, and the Mantas came out from the bays.
Kelsey felt her fingers tingle. Now this was the life! She had always hated just trading, but when she became 20, she had decided to join the Rebels.
She gripped her control stick hard and eased her ship around the nearest Confederate frigate and opened fire. Suddenly, it turned toward her and launched a torpedo. She veered sharply to the right and dodged it, but it followed her. Fortunately, torpedoes were slow, but she still had to be quick to keep out of its way. As the torpedo burnt out, she turned to the Frigate again and started shooting her laser cannon.
All around her, battle raged on.
On her screen, she could see how much shield the Frigate still had. 60%. Hers was 70%. She kept shooting, dodging each of the proton bolts the Frigate spewed out at her. Other mantas, having finished their job, came to her assistance. Her shield was now down to 40 %. Still she fought. 30%. 20. 10...9...5...4...2...
All of a sudden, the Frigate exploded. Her Manta went sailing backwards, barely saved from exploding itself. As her ship's shield slowly recovered, she looked around. No more Confederates were visible.
For the past few days, the Third Rebel Fleet had stayed on Clotho Prime, celebrating their victory, but Kelsey was bored out of her wits. Again. Her blood lusted for adventure. Finally, she got on her Manta and flew to Clotho II, the next planet in the Clotho system. Clotho II was a dangerous planet. Its dense green atmosphere was poisonous, and static electricity fizzed around her ship as it carefully descended into the atmosphere. Lightning bolts flashed all around. Slowly, she landed her ship in the bay of the Clotho II spaceport.
She walked into the spaceport bar to get a drink. The bar was always occupied by people who were there to get something to drink, to get updates on the Galactic War, or just hang around. She sat on one of the chairs, watching the overhead screen. Suddenly, she heard scuffling around the door of the bar and whipped around, spilling her drink.
Pirates were barring the doorway. "Don't move, Rebels. We've had enough of you. You're going DOWN."
CHAPTER 2
The room was dark and damp. A solitary figure lay in the center of the room. She opened her eyes and slowly sat up. The back of her head ached. She did not know where she was or how she came to be there.
Suddenly the door opened and in walked a pirate. He was bald and was heavy-set. "Come out. The captain wants to see you."
He led her down a long hallway. "You, what's your name?"
She shrugged.
"What do you mean!? You ain't got no name?"
She shrugged again.
"Forgot it?"
She nodded.
Soon they reached a door glowing softly purple. It slid open, and they entered into a large room. One of the five walls was covered with screens. In the center of the room, a man sat. His chin was bony and his nose was aquiline. His eyes were a piercing green.
The man who had brought the woman in saluted. "Sir, I have taken the Rebel prisoner, just as you have commanded."
A smile curled the man's thin lips. "Ah, excellent, excellent. What is your name, girl?"
"That seems to be the problem. I believe she has gotten amnesia. Also her memory seems to have been erased."
"Perhaps that machine has worked too well..." another man said. He had blond hair and looked young.
"What machine? You have used the memory erasing machine? Without my permission?" Furrows formed in the man's forehead.
"I... I'm sorry Captain Jerrold, but I thought that.. it would be... useful.. for... I mean, I heard that if the machine was used, then it would be nearly impossible for the victim to...uh..."
"No matter," Jerrold interrupted harshly. "It only erases the memory of her past and her identity, anyhow. No brain damage otherwise. She will remember about the Galactic Civil War, but not what role she played in it before. You have actually done me a favor, Stark."
The blond man gulped. "I have?"
"Why, yes. Our scouts have noticed that she is a very skilful pilot. She will be very useful for our cause. Very useful. Stark, what name shall we give her, now that she has forgotten her own? Crystal, perhaps?"
"Crystal?"
"Yes. Have you noticed her cold, hard eyes?" He turned toward the girl. "Crystal. Would you like to work for our cause? To destroy the Rebellion and the Confederation?"
Crystal slowly nodded.
"Very good. I will assign you to a room. Wait for my orders there. Stark, take her to room 3."
Stark exited from the main doorway. Crystal followed behind. They walked along a wide, bright corridor. They passed several rooms. Then they came to a wide hall. Rooms 1, 2, and 3's doors were here, and they entered Room 3.
Crystal was surprised as she entered the room. A huge window was on one side of the room. So far as she could see, she was on an uncivilized planet. White rocks jutted out in the distance, making strange rock formations. Above the horizon, blackness stretched as far as she could see, studded with stars.
The room was wide. A screen was embedded into the wall. Next to it was a small desk. A sleeping capsule occupied the other corner of the room. It looked clean.
As Stark left the room, she looked around once more. "A pilot for pirates. Not bad. Not bad at all!"
And as Crystal settled into the room, one young Rebel pilot disappeared from the galaxy.
CHAPTER 3
Bluebeard the Pirate smiled as he saw a Pirate Kestrel. Another one of his allies. He tugged on his blue beard contentedly.
The Kestrel aligned itself next to the pirate Argosy, ready for the prey. There was a strange round opening below its bridge, but Bluebeard paid no attention to it. It was probably just another weapon.
A Confederate Frigate approached, oblivious to the danger. Bluebeard fired his missiles and accelerated his spaceship toward the Frigate. He flew close up to the Frigate and began shooting his laser cannons.
On his radar, the dot turned red and quickly flew toward him. Bluebeard dodged several missiles and fired more. The Frigate flew closer toward his ship and fired its proton cannons. They did little damage to his heavily modified Argosy.
In the Frigate, the pilot was glaring furiously at the Argosy. He had never expected it to be equipped with missiles. Suddenly, the shield went down drastically to 10%. Surprised, he looked at the radar. Another red dot was approaching behind him. He turned the Frigate around. A pirate Kestrel flew into view.
A Kestrel. Easy.
The Kestrel maneuvered around the torpedoes of the Frigate and suddenly paused. A bright green beam shot from the opening below the bridge.
Bluebeard watched in surprise as the beam sliced toward the Frigate.. It disappeared in a brilliant yellow explosion.
Bluebeard grinned. Here was a potentially lethal ally. He hailed the ship. There was no response, and the next moment, it turned toward him, turning its green beam toward him. Bluebeard stared in horror, then quickly grabbed his controls. It was too late. Hot flames enveloped him, and his ship disintegrated into nothingness.
--------------------
Back on Earth, the Confederate officer frowned in disgust. He had just gotten a transmission from a Frigate passing through the Levo system. They told him of a Kestrel with an unusual weapon, and in the middle of the message, the ship seemed to have exploded.
He sent two Cruisers to take a patrol sweep through Levo and all its adjacent systems to find the pirate and destroy it.
A few days later, they too had disappeared, leaving no traces.
To be continued
I'll write more soon, I promise!
(This message has been edited by moderator (edited 12-10-2002).)
Nifty. I'm not sure what else to say; it's not the absolute best story I've ever read, but I can't find any immediate flaws in it, so it's pretty good.
------------------ (url="http://"http://www.evula.com/")EVula,(/url) your friendly (url="http://"http://www.evula.com/")self-promoting(/url) EV & EVO Boards/Addon/Newswire/Chronicles moderator (url="http://"http://www.evula.com/")evula.com(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.evula.net/")evula.net(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.evula.org/")evula.org(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.ev-nova.net/")ev-nova.net(/url) :: (url="http://"http://forums.evula.com/")Lair Forums(/url) (url="http://"http://pftn.evula.net")pftn(/url) | (url="http://"http://dreamwave.evula.net")dreamwave(/url) | (url="http://"http://davidarthur.evula.net")davidarthur(/url) | (url="http://"http://ucplugs.evula.net")ucplugs(/url) | (url="http://"http://jager.evula.net")jager(/url) | (url="http://"http://stark.evula.net")stark(/url)
I agree. Well written, and an interesting plot. Can't wait to see more! (Well, yeah, I could, I guess.)
------------------ Social correctness has traditionally had nothing whatever to do with reason, logic, or physics. In fact, in England it is generally considered socially incorrect to know stuff or think about things. It's worth bearing this in mind when visiting. -Douglas Adams, Salmon of Doubt
It seems to have a pretty good plot. Good job, and keep writing. Im sure youve heard this many times before, but you should really register your account. Its free. Its easy. Its a lot better than being unregistered.
------------------ Unified Space Intelligence (url="http://"http://www.usi-rpg.com")www.usi-rpg.com(/url) Tell them Derek Pitt sent you.
(This message has been edited by Spaceiscold (edited 12-10-2002).)
I think your story needs a little of the additional descriptions. I have been saying this to a number of writers and I really haven't put out anything of my own to be read and torn apart. But in my "limited" way, I sugest that you spend a little time on describing what the fight really looked like. Maybe go into a bit more about what the weapons fire did to the targets. Anything to really make the reader feel like they are indeed there.
------------------