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I posted this on the Nova board earlier today. No one really seemed to care. So, I'm shuffling it over to here in the hopes that someone may read it and like it. Expect the next scene sometime in the future--my schedule changes a lot so I can promise no dates.
Oh, and this thing needs a title. Currently, I have come up with 'Lost Colonies' and 'Rogue Courier'. Vote your choice or give me something better.
<-> <->
"Dammit! Shields down to 50%!" yelled Commander Lars Nifker from his engineering station. The Federation Destroyer Courier shook as a Hellhound Missile exploded off the starboard bow, and Captain William Aserno bit back a curse. He glanced at the small console built into his command chair, and noted that they had somehow escaped that blast unscathed.
"Transfer five percent power from the engines to the shield buffers! Fire Control, concentrate on those damned Hellhounds!" he ordered. Chasing the Courier were several pirate ships, either hired by or directly working for the Bureau. Normally, any Federation Naval ship would turn and engage them, calling for reinforcements if necessary. But not the Courier. She had no allies, and there was no way that William was going to let the Bureau have her cargo back. "Navigation, how long before we reach the hyperlimit?" he inquired.
"About three and a half minutes, give or take," answered Lieutenant Commander Silva Taimura from across the bridge. Nodding, he looked at the main view screen, which was set on a view directly aft. Behind the ship were three large, bright specks. Emanating from them were dozens of small yet equally bright dots, which grew with increasing rapidity. As they gained definition, one could see that they were missiles, long spears of destruction riding fiery tails of thrust towards their target--the Courier. When they seemed no more than an arms length away, bright streams of fire would rain down on them from the Destroyer's three Quad Light Blaster Turrets.
Unfortunately, not all of the missiles were stopped. As William watched, three Hellhounds arced in at his ship. One of the turrets unleashed a torrent of fire on them, but it wasn't enough. As the second one disintegrated under the fire, the third one raced in and slammed itself against the rear shield. The screen coldly displayed the flames as they engorged the rear of the ship, and William heard his Sensors Officer give off a vicious swear. "Captain! We've lost aft sensors!"
"Fire Control, go to visual targeting. Engineering, I want sensors back online now!" he called across the bridge. He heard affirmations from the two officers, and they quickly started to carry out his orders. A few seconds later the ship shook as another missile snuck through the Destroyer's weakened defenses and impacted on the shields.
"Shields at 40%! Captain, we can't feed any more power into the shield or we'll overload the buffers," cried Commander Nifker. William nodded absently, and concentrated on what they were going to do to survive. At this rate, they would be disabled before they were safely in hyperspace. He brought up a tactical plot on the screen built into his command chair's arm and studied his opponents quickly.
In the center of the formation was a large dot that CIC had tentatively identified as a Manticore. Flanking it were two much smaller dots, ships that CIC had identified as Pirate-modified Valkyries. Their sensor profiles matched that of Class V's, but they quite simply weren't putting up enough missiles to be called Class V Pirate Valkyries. They could easily overwhelm the Courier's point-defense with the fire from the the Valk's and the Manticore, but for some reason they were sticking with salvoes of three missiles. William guessed that the Bureau hadn't had time to get one of their commanders out to this Pirate fleet and that it was under the command of its usual commander.
"Engineering, I want full emergency power on the engines. Remove the safety interlocks on the inertial compensator and the engines. Navigation, let's see how many gravities the crew can take." William depressed a small stud on his command chair and spoke. "All hands, brace for high-g maneuvers." A klaxon started going off beyond the doors of the bridge, and William quickly fastened his safety harness and gripped the armrests on his chair.
He felt the pull of gravity drawing him back into his chair, and soon his vision started to blacken. He fought unconsciousness, and felt the ship shudder as it was hit by another Hellhound. Half a minute went by, and he started to think that the tactic had worked, that the missiles had quite simply been out-accelerated, when the ship shuddered violently. A high-pitched warbling filled the air, and William swore under his breath as he remembered what it meant--Complete Engine Failure.
"Captain, we've gone ballistic!" reported Taimura from her console. "Safeties are cutting in! We're decelerating!" she cried in horror.
"Engineering, shut down the emergency braking thrusters!" The ship shook violently as another Hellhound smashed into her rear shield. "And get the engines back online while we still have them!"
"I'm working on it, sir!" called out the commander from his station. A few seconds later he cried out in triumph. "Captain, we are holding steady at 105% rated maximum!"
William nodded and stared blankly at the Tactical Plot. Until the engines came back online there was nothing he could do. Launching missiles would only decrease their speed, and the main batteries were out of range. The bridge was almost silent, the only sounds being the muffled klaxons outside and the quiet mumbling of Commander Lars Nifker. The Courier shuddered three more times as more missiles gouged her shields.
"Captain, we've cleared the hyperlimit!" Taimura exclaimed. "Plotting course for SPC-089."
"Very good! Engineering, we're waiting on you," he said impatiently. He glanced at his console and noted rather apprehensively that the shields were down to five percent.
"Sir! Engines are back online!" shouted Nifker.
Nodding his head in approval at his engineer's quick work, William smiled. "Engage hyperdrive."
"Yes, sir!" replied Taimura gleefully. "Entering hyper in five...four...three..." We're free, we've made it, we've survi...Oh, God! We're hit! he thought. The ship rocked violently as a Hellhound blew down their shields and exploded against the hull. "Two...one..."
"Captain, we're losing power!" bellowed Nifker as the Courier disappeared from real space in a flash of light.
(This message has been edited by moderator (edited 12-02-2002).)
Pretty cool story. I only had a few issues with it. First off, I removed the italics on "Courier" in all but one instance; with there being only one Courier in the story (and the fact that I've never read anything else where the ship's title was italicized at every mentioning of the name), I thought it was a little unnecessary. Secondly, not everything needs to have caps; the shield buffers are probably a normal thing for the ship, and don't need to be made out to be "special" in any way; the quad light blaster turret I left like that because, hrmm, not sure why I did, in retrospect. Hrm.
However, I still think it's a cool story, although it certainly doesn't tell us as much as it should... like what is the cargo that it has?
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Yes, it was an awesome scene. Heh. I know you may not write anything else for it, but if it were left as is, there wouldn't be enough for a whole story. Very good, well written, nice length, and cool chase.
Good job.
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Quote
Originally posted by Rawzer: **Yes, it was an awesome scene. Heh. I know you may not write anything else for it, but if it were left as is, there wouldn't be enough for a whole story. Very good, well written, nice length, and cool chase.
**
Thanks. When all is said and done, it should pan out to be novella length. I hope to have scene two done sometime soon. It isn't as exciting, but it is kinda hard to be excited about repairing a ship that is dead in space.
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Right. I have no idea how to continue from my last story...
What my mother(a writer/editor) told me when I started writing is that you shouldn't write from scene to scene, making it up as you go along, but think on the subject for several days and note down what you want to happen in the story. When you think you have a plot that can hold itself together without any duct tape, start writing. If there is a scene you want to add, add it. Your plot guide is there for reference, something to keep you on track. It isn't the be-all and end-all of your story. Most importantly, get your story down. Don't write a scene and then rewrite it five times because you don't think it sounds right. Rewriting is something that should be done in editing. Going back through and fixing small mistakes and reminding yourself of what is going on in your story is a good thing, but don't do it too often.
So, rather than wondering what happens next, wonder how do you get to the end. Ask people for their opinions on what they should think should/could/would happen next, and extrapolate from there.
Really, you needn't listen to a word of my babbling, but it should make endeavours in writing easier for you. Oh, and could you point me towards your story(if it's here)?
Cool.
That's one of the better "Combat stories" I've seen here... Your attention to detail, from the ship's systems to the overall atmosphere of space combat, is quite impressive (and entertaining). I would say:
Don't worry too much about the ship's repairs as being the 'boring' bit, with no action to keep the flow moving along at lightning speed, rather, think of it as an opportunity to explore some of the areas that you may have not touched on during the fight. Like, what is the captain's relationship with his crew? Do they all agree with his mission of keeping their cargo out of the hands of the Bureau? Basically, the patterns of human relationships onboard the ship.
You might not think it, but those things can be just as entertaining, just as gripping, as explosions and fireworks. Additonally, it'll help you flesh out other characters that you may have only briefly touched apon before, whom you can reintigrate when the going gets tough again. And it's good writing practice.
Service With A Smile :), Scifiteki
------------------ "If you keep your mind sufficiently open, people will throw a lot of rubbish into it." William A. Orton
Originally posted by EVula: **I've never read anything else where the ship's title was italicized at every mentioning of the name **
I've seen it before. It's standard practice when referring to naval vessels.
-reg
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Originally posted by Admiral Benden: What my mother(a writer/editor) told me when I started writing is that you shouldn't write from scene to scene, making it up as you go along, but think on the subject for several days and note down what you want to happen in the story. When you think you have a plot that can hold itself together without any duct tape, start writing. If there is a scene you want to add, add it. Your plot guide is there for reference, something to keep you on track. It isn't the be-all and end-all of your story. Most importantly, get your story down. Don't write a scene and then rewrite it five times because you don't think it sounds right. Rewriting is something that should be done in editing. Going back through and fixing small mistakes and reminding yourself of what is going on in your story is a good thing, but don't do it too often.
Thats normally how I write, except I havn't needed to ask friends or family about where my story should go and what should happen. I've got it all in my head. My only problem is that Im so busy, sometimes I don't have time to write just that little extra paragraph or another page. And when I do have time, sometimes my brain is so fried I can't even think. But anyways, what I do is at school, I write down my story in sort of a "rough draft" form, and then at home I edit and correct anything that I don't like. Normally when Im done editing the story, I have added on an extra page or two.
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(This message has been edited by Spaceiscold (edited 12-13-2002).)
WOW!!!
That was good!
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That was the best one I read so far. Thats not saying much as yet but I imagine that it will remain one of the better stories for some time to come. Congragualtions. As for tips...Thats kinda tough. I like to sometimes change the point of view in my stories. Like have a outside the ship look at what is happening. It gives you a chance to really lay on the discriptive words. And too, if you get stuck, switching views can help. Keep on it.
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