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The Initiation, Part I, Second Installation in the Grey Trilogy
1160 NC - Earth eastern hemisphere - Scotland - Mid Fall - Dusk
"Alright, I'm leaving," the tall man said to his seven year old boy and nine year old girl, "but I'll be back in the summer - real soon." The man looked up from his kneeling stance next to his kids, and met eyes with his dear friend. "Alem Fox will be staying with you. You remember him, don't you?"
The children looked behind them and up at the tall red-headed man. "Yeah," the youngest replied, looking back to his father. "He's always over here."
"Yeah." Their father smiled. "Gimme a hug."
The two children hugged their high-ranked Federation officer father's large arms tightly.
The man said his second goodbye to his dear wife, his children, and greatest friend. As soon as he entered the large transport, it took off with the children slightly sobbing.
"Stop it, Fox!" the nine year old, named Kalestia, yelled as she witnessed her godfather throw her mother onto her father's bed.
The young boy ran into the room. "Mommy!"
Alem turned around and was readying his burly arm to knock the two to the ground, when he felt the burning sensation of a knife entering his back, and blacking out.
"Let's go, kids!" Aindrea said, grabbing her two children and a small photon pistol. They ran out the door to their vehicle. But before they could reach it, Alem crawled out the front door, knife in back, and fired a neutron blast into Kalestia. Her mother fired back, but in too late of time. She caught her child as she fell, and, after a sob, slid her into the back seat of the vehicle, while she and her boy sat up front.
There was nothing anyone could do...
(This message has been edited by moderator (edited 11-11-2002).)
Uh, it's way too short. And depressing.
Other than that, it's just fine.
------------------ (url="http://"http://www.evula.com/")EVula,(/url) your friendly (url="http://"http://www.evula.com/")self-promoting(/url) EV & EVO Boards/Addon/Newswire/Chronicles moderator (url="http://"http://www.evula.com/")evula.com(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.evula.net/")evula.net(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.evula.org/")evula.org(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.ev-nova.net/")ev-nova.net(/url) :: (url="http://"http://forums.evula.com/")Lair Forums(/url) (url="http://"http://pftn.evula.net")pftn(/url) | (url="http://"http://dreamwave.evula.net")dreamwave(/url) | (url="http://"http://davidarthur.evula.net")davidarthur(/url) | (url="http://"http://ucplugs.evula.net")ucplugs(/url) | (url="http://"http://jager.evula.net")jager(/url) | (url="http://"http://stark.evula.net")stark(/url)
Can someone tell me when all these stories start making sense?
------------------ If my computer crashes, I will go eat cake. If my computer doesn't crash, I will probably go eat cake anyway.
Ya most of the storys start good then get way messed up by jumping around and then finish before they explain why they jump around. :counfused:
------------------ The assasins the one that holds the gun but homeworks the one that kills you.
the confused emotions not working?
They work when you spell them right. Edit next time, please. double posting clutters stuff up. Thanks.
About the story... I... don't get it. No offense, but it really doesn't make any sense, and it is rather depressing.
(EVula: I'll get something in soon, I swear! Stop the madness! :))
------------------ All h(url="http://"http://www.EVula.com")e(/url)r fri(url="http://"http://www.EVula.com")e(/url)nds in school w(url="http://"http://www.EVula.com")e(/url)r(url="http://"http://www.EVula.com")e(/url) non-conformists, so sh(url="http://"http://www.EVula.com")e(/url) b(url="http://"http://www.EVula.com")e(/url)cam(url="http://"http://www.EVula.com")e(/url) a non-conformist too. Hooray for Hype! ph33r my (url="http://"http://www.adventuredog.net/images/spoon.jpg")Wooden Spoon of Doom(/url) And always remember to Thank (url="http://"http://www.cakemusic.com")Cake!(/url)
Well I have already submitted the prologue of my story and chapter 1 is almost done. I just wish that these little tiny stories dont keep getting infront of it!
If you want more info. on my story, contact me at (url="http://"mailto:tyranicmankiller@yahoo.com")mailto:tyranicmankiller@yahoo.com(/url)tyranicmankiller@yahoo.com
Where is EVula? The chronicles have been kinda down this past week.
------------------ Unified Space Intelligence http://www.usi-rpg.com Tell them Derek Pitt sent you.
The Chronicle section's treasury, meaning stories, is enriched once a week. At some point every Monday, but I am not sure anymore. A good thing do, beside constructive criticism and applauding the authors is to submit a Chronicle. Another good place to go is at the (url="http://"http://www.ambrosiasw.com/cgi-bin/ubb/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&number;=49&SUBMIT;=Go")ColdStone Chronicle(/url) board , they have good writers. Another important element is to consider moderator, for example (url="http://"http://www.evula.com")EVula(/url), as immensly important people. Therefore it becomes normal to respect them by using a correct writing style when writing about an to them.
Overall, enjoy the ASW webboard!
------------------ Mes plus sincčres Salutations ŕ la Vie, Reine de ce Monde.
(This message has been edited by Ne Demord Jamais (edited 11-24-2002).)
Thanks for the kind words, but he's perfectly right, I completely forgot about the Chronicles last week (I had the day off from work, which threw me off schedule), and didn't realize it until later in the week. sigh Oh well, new story is up now.
Yay!
Hey, okay, I did write a chronicle, but not exactly in the EV universe... try pop-pop. If you were waiting, keep waiting. Go to the pop-pop boards and post.
I wasn't really pointing that toward EVula. I just wondered what had happened because the new story (MINE :D) hadn't been posted and none of u guys down here were writing comments. I felt kinda lonely.
Stories are posted one a week. They might be submitted more often that that. (But probably not.) Anyway, it will probably take about a month for a story to get posted after being submitted.
No, no, no. What I'm saying is that no stories had been posted because, as he has told u, EVula had forgotten about that in his being busy (no offense, EVula). Two weeks had past without a story being submitted, and no one was writing anymore comments.
It's not a tiny story. I just don't think anyone would enjoy reading an entire chronicle about what happened way before the present time. Would you want to read a chronicle and wonder why this person is telling us that some guy killed a kid?
I think it was done quite well, especially for my first public chronicle.
------------------ Keep what ye c'n git, an' keep what ye ha'e, for that is the wey t' gettin' rich - Old Scottish Commoner Saying - "Mac users are loyal. PC users are stubborn
Quote
Originally posted by The Space Between: **I think it was done quite well, especially for my first public chronicle.
**
Well, naturally you would think so...
I think mine's better. Hey Rawzer, have u read my introduction yet?
------------------ Unified Space Intelligence (url="http://"http://www.usi-rpg.com")http://www.usi-rpg.com(/url) Tell them Derek Pitt sent you.
(This message has been edited by Spaceiscold (edited 12-19-2002).)
(quote)Originally posted by Spaceiscold: **Lol.:rolleyes:
Heh. Mine's better. FLAMEWAR!
------------------ Keep what ye c'n git, an' keep what ye ha'e, for that is the wey t' gettin' rich - Old Scottish Commoner Saying - "Mac users are loyal**
The only reason I'm not gonna have a flamewar is because I'd like to keep my Karma clean. If this were not an Ambrosia web board, I would take you up on that. Besides, yours is much shorter. Thats all I need to say.
------------------ Unified Space Intelligence (url="http://"http://www.usi-rpg.com")www.usi-rpg.com(/url) Tell them Derek Pitt sent you.