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Arianne regretfully packs away her skiing gear, knowing that she will not see snow again for at least another five years, or however long it takes to commandeer another holiday.
Then she turns to the Priest.
Standing, she smiles. Her expression is malicious amusement, anger and dark power combined. There too is joy; a fierce delight in battle and a taste for pain.
"You wish that?" she asks. "You challenge me, little mortal?" One pale, pale hand rises; the lights falter as darkness gathers. "Here, then, is the reward for your brashness!"
Words twist on her tongue, a language harsh and dead and complex. The portal, its energies already bound to her will, swirls. She manipulates them as easily as she had once before. Light flares. But it is a sickly, unnatural light that provides no illumination and renders all into ghastly shadows. The bar seems deadened of sound.
The light returns to normal.
The web of dark energy that catches the Priest is nowhere near as gentle as that which had drawn LifeKnight in. It is fire burning, an icy blade twisting in his gut, a thousand tiny hooks grasping at his soul. It is agony such as he has never felt before. The vampire's black gaze never loses its intensity as she watches her handiwork. Before he can draw breath to scream, the Priest is thrown violently through the portal and into the Dimension he had specified.
(ooc) You know how long it took me to find that post again?
------------------ From many a wondrous grot and secret cell Unnumbered and enormous (url="http://"http://www.forums4free.net/kraken/")polypi(/url) Winnow with giant fins the slumbering (url="http://"http://www.web-books.com/Classics/Poetry/Anthology/Tennyson/Kraken.htm")green(/url).
SuperNova returns with a giant stack of papers outlining his benefits program. He finds the priest destroyed and therefore decides to find one that won't complain or pick fights with the patrons of the bar.
------------------ (url="http://"http://blog.evula.net/SuperNova/")The absence of the word "blog" in spell check makes the entire blog movement meaningless.(/url) <(url="http://"http://www.evula.com")E(/url)(url="http://"http://www.evula.net")V(/url)(url="http://"http://www.evula.org")ula link(/url)>
Rawzer nods to Sidatious, who pours Arianne a drink on the house.
------------------ Nova + 50 years = (url="http://"http://www.evula.org/aftermath/")Aftermath(/url).
A thorougly drunk dwarf hamster staggers into the bar, manages to levitate itself onto the countertop, and orders a mug of whisky. The potent order now standing in front of the hamster, Hamster begins to chant, and the whisky bursts into flames.
Hamster jumps in, wallows about, and emerges with no hair. Staring down at his hairless, naked body, in utter disbelief, Hamster runs for a napkin. Finding one, he eats it, and promptly falls off the countertop, and begins snoring, quite loudly for a creature his size.
ooc: 'ello!
------------------ Me Bar Pics Page-> (url="http://"http://homepage.mac.com/ami/Menu1.html")http://homepage.mac.com/ami/Menu1.html(/url) 'You couldn't get a clue during clue mating season in a field of clues if you smeared your body in musk and did the clue mating dance.' -Severin
Enter pub
You enter the pub. It hasn't changed much lately, so you won't need much of a description.
A cocktail napkin is on the table.
A scroll lies on the floor in a corner.
Get scroll
The trap under the scroll explodes. You should have looked at the scroll, you would have known about the obvious, easily disarmed trap.
You have died You've earned 0 points out of 1,000,000, giving you the rank of n00b.
(This message has been edited by SuperNova (edited 07-22-2004).)
Look at scroll
The scroll is an ordinary looking scroll. You can see a device underneath the scroll with a large "Deactivate" button.
Deactivate
Deactivate what?
Deactivate device
You press the button on the device. It is deactivated.
Read scroll
You don't have the scroll.
You bend down and get the scroll.
The scroll is unreadable!
Commit suicide
You perform an elaborate double backflip, landing on your jaw, and breaking your neck.
You have died You've earned 5 points out of 1,000,000, giving you the rank of greater n00b.
(This message has been edited by Rawzer (edited 07-22-2004).)
Arianne watches the hairless dwarf hamster curiously. She raises her glass in salute to Rawzer.
The Priest screams in as he wreathes in his alter dimension of agony, after finally waking up from the long nap he had been taking at the bar. Realizing that the torment will not stop, he begins to overcome the pain. He takes the pain, accepts that it will not go away, and convinces his body that the pain is actually a tingling feeling, like when your foot falls asleep. After shaking his outer limbs, the tingling goes away, leaving only him in a lightless void. Now, how to get out of here...
After awhile he realizes that the void is physical, as his stomach begins to feel upset at the effects of zero gravity. The Priest soon learns that he can move about by making swimming motions, albeit very slow. He begins to do so, and heads in one direction. One stroke will keep him moving for quite a long time, since there is very little friction in this lightless void of evil. Conserving his energy, he continues stroking every few minutes, dozing in and out of sleep as he heads in as close to a straight line as is possible.
Several days later, The Priest's head bumbs into something, he looks up, and realizes he has seemed to reach the threshold of some type of portal. He climbs through it, and is launched into yet another dimension. This one is full of portals, but a sign above them all say, "To the Boozerama Bar" He stumbles through one.
He lands with a heavy thud in the acid pit of the bar, and screams at the new found agony, which is ironic, seeing as how he has just come out of a dimension in which nothing but pain exists, oh well. A heavenly body comes over, and helps him out. Over the course of the next few days, the Angel which Rawzer threw out of the bar heals The Priest, and they begin to plot. The Priest calls his Spoon of the Spirit to him, and collects several...oddments about his person. He then feeds the angel scrap metal from a ship that crashed near the Boozerama Bar, rendering it immortal (moreso than it already was anyway)Then, he and the angel launch themselves through the portal into the Blue Mushroom Pub.
As soon as the awesome duo appear in the portal, the Angel attacks Sidatious, and the two lock in an epic battle of two immortals, ever fighting and killing each other, yet never dying. Meanwhile, The Priest looks at Arianne, who is still smirking at her near-destruction of The Priest, and says smitefully, "Vengeance belongs to the Lord, and I am the Lord's servant!"
Arianne notices that the Priest is decked out in armor made of garlic that covers every accesible and non-accesible vein/artery in his body. He powers up his Spoon of the Spirit with his usual prayer, and says to Arianne, "Bring it!"
------------------ "You don't want to sell me deathsticks" "I...uh..I don't want to sell you deathsticks!" "You want to go home and rethink your life." "I..uh..want to go home and rethink my life!"
(This message has been edited by Cheezy_Cracker (edited 07-26-2004).)
Rawzer smacks his spoon against the top of the Priest's head, making a loud clanging sound as the Priest slumps to the floor. Then Rawzer whispers an incantation, and a silvery cage flies out of the end of Rawzer's spoon and ensnares the Angel.
Rawzer moves the unbreakable cage to a corner of the bar, and gives the Angel a drink. Sidatious eyes the cage warily.
Not to be nitpicky or anything, but no friction = no movement from your initial position...
Arianne winkles her nose as she is assaulted with the overwhelming stench of garlic. "Mortals!" she growls. "Have you no concept of hygiene?"
When the Priest wakes up, he finds that the garlic has been boiled away with the aid of the scalding water bath and the rest of his armour quietly rusting against one wall. He himself is feeling rather weak and light-headed... the after-effects of a concussion...
Arianne borrows the caged Angel for target practice.
Just to clarify, it's not that Rawzer has anything against new people coming to the bar, it's the troublemakers he can't stand. This is a place of business, and the regulars like peace and quiet. So if you come for trouble, yer gonna find it.
Speaking of regulars, Spazz returns after a week long vacation at the Pink Termite Inn.
He orders a spiked Barqs and greets midget2 in a dark corner of the pub.
------------------ Life would be easier if I had the source code; He who knows nothing, doubts nothing -Confucious : check it out (url="http://"http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/29")www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/29(/url) and the other toons on this page (url="http://"http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons")www.weebls-stuff.com/toons(/url) ; ah yes, How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if I pulled out all it's teeth? glomps Midget2
The Priest wakes up, and sincerely apologizes to everyone for his behavior. His religous zeal often gets the best of him, and therefore he will often go off on tangents. Oh well.
(The priest points out to Arianne that no friction wasn't fair, and his escape was pretty original, much better than LK's anyway!)
He stumbles out of the bar with one of the axes and finds a horde of cyclops living in a cave not far away. He slays them all and returns with a barrel of Cyclops blood for Arianne, and a ton of new axes for Rawzer, he sincerely apologizes for the distrubances, then gets everyone so drunk they forget the occurences of the last few days.
The Priest decides to sit at a table, which will henceforth be his "normal spot" and enquires Sidatious, who is still warily eyeing the cage, about a room.
Rounds All Around!!!
Arianne stashes the barrel under her table, dipping a glass in for a drink every now and then.
(I never specified the friction of the void. You did. :p)
She starts a game of rock, paper, scissors with the Angel.
The Priest get up from his normal seat, and runs into the scalding hot tub. "YOUCH!" He screams. He mutters something that strangely resembles "I fixed the thing about no friction, it now says very little friction, so now everyone can be happy!!"
He orders another round of drinks for everyone, then realizes his purse is empty. He runs outside before Sidatious asks for payment and spends the next hour hunting and killing loaded goblins. He loots an unconfirmed, but very large amount of gp from them, and goes back to pay Sidatious for the drinks and the room.
He goes back to his normal table and sips on a rootbeer thoughtfully.
Rawzer puts up a plaque on the wall.
"Patron of the week"
This week: Da Priest.
All past weeks: Arianne.
Da Priest (He got a promotion!) looks at the sign and screams with glee! He is so happy he does a little jig and falls into the pool, cooling off his heightened attitude of happiness. He decided to do drinks all around, then realizes his purse is strangely empty. Oh well.
He wonders over to the pinball machine, pushes Midget 2 aside, and says "Watch a real pro!" and commences play. Several hours later he stumbles over to his seat and states the new high score is 30 bajillion!
He sighs and falls asleep.
as Da Priest is sleeping, midget2 goes over to the pinball machine and in a good hour or so regains her tital as the pinball champion, with the new high score of 50 bajillion. as she is walking to her table with Spazzy and a much needed pepsi, she turns to Da Priest and says, "i could have stopped at 31 bajilion, but i figured u needed a challange. have fun." she smiles at him and sits down, waiting to see if he takes her challange.
------------------ "The Swiss have an interesting army. 500 years w/out a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss ARmy knife they have to fight with? not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews, Bottle openers..'Come on, buddy, let's go! you get past me, the guy in back of me, HE'S GOT A SPOON! Back Off! I've got the toe clippers rite here!' --thank you so much Jerry Seinfeld!--
SuperNova walks to a dust-covered plaque on the wall by the pinball machine. He blows the dust off of it, revealing the all-time pinball hall of fame. The scores are all his and are all so large that they push back the limits of human understanding.
Da Priest wakes up, rubs his eyes, and notices the high score sign. "Whoa! I better get to work" he says.
So for the next days, Da Priest does nothing but play pinball, play pinball, and play more pinball. He finally stops after losing his last ball and reads the sign. The new high score belongs to the Priest, and it is more than twice as much as the score below it. He sighs with relief, and walks over to Sidatious, who gives him his Barq without even asking. Da Priest thanks Sidatious, and hands over the gp.
Da Priest suddenly collaspses from lack of sleep and food.