I've been working on a TC for a few months with a friend. We're gonna release it in three parts, probably not starting until were most of the way done with the last part. Each part will focus on a different era in the story, the first part focusing on conflict within our solar system. This isn't a WE NEED HELP thread, just looking for some feedback. We've had an overview of the story for a while, but just now started to flesh out the actual script of it. This is the intro to part I, just wanted to see if anyone had some constructive criticism.
The year is 2037. The worlds mental state is in shambles. In the last decade the global economic state has been shaky at best, and is currently reaching all time lows. Billions of people are out of work and starving. Greenhouse gases are at critical levels, spurring an international scientific summit that created the ATLAS Project. ATLAS' objective was to find a way to clean up the environment and bolster the economy, but they're not having much luck.
You've lived through it all. You were lucky enough to have dreamed of going into space as a child which led you to become a potential pilot for Andromedus Tech. While the first groups out into space were mostly large corporations searching for government free opportunities or extremists of one form or another, Andromedus has focused on other areas. For years they've been working on massive colonyships and researching methods of terraforming other planets. Let's hope they're closer than they say they are.
It's noon when your comm goes off. The caller is identified as your supervisor at Andromedus. You answer and he immediately starts speaking, not even giving you a chance to greet him. “Don't speak, just listen. Get in you car and drive over here right now. We're calling in all our pilots. I don't know quite what's going on, but what I can gather is that theres been a disaster at an ATLAS facility. Apparently they were venting dangerous gases and chemicals into the atmosphere to attempt to counter or neutralize the greenhouse gases. Then there was a malfunction or an explosion and the gases lit. To make a long story short, the atmosphere is on fire and no one knows how long it will take to reach us here. The terraforming Arks are prepping to depart as soon as the pilots arrive, so step on it! You pilots are the only chance we have. Good luck, captain.”
You speed past oblivious civilians, barely clear a red light without getting hit, and slam on the gas. No one could have predicted this, how the hell could anyone have known?