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(walks in, twin plasma rifle gleaming) (gives Jive a demented, psychotic look) "Fry, Piggy" (pulls trigger)
------------------ "Let's do this!" -Styth Titan A.E.
Quote
Originally posted by Cotton Moose: **(walks in, twin plasma rifle gleaming) (gives Jive a demented, psychotic look) "Fry, Piggy" (pulls trigger)
**
(Jive looks at hole in wall next to him) "Missed sucker" (Jive pulls out ionizer) (Pulls trigger) (Cotton Moose lies lifeless on ground) (Jive picks up twin plasma rifle) "Nice" (Jive takes a shot of Brandy whil admiring the fresh "red paint" on the walls)
------------------ Feel the Jive ------------------ I'm not as think as you stupid I am. ------------------
Jive, you poor fool. Lunar is dead but Lunar 1 and Lunar 2 are still alive. they will always be alive.
Lunar 2 leaves bar with his back turned and Jive crying in the background. Jive (sobbing): "I just wanted a friend...someone to love me..." Lunar 2: "No one can love you Jive. No one."
(Jive takes chair and attakcs Lunar 2 from behind) Lunar 2: "You poor bastard. You have to attack an old man from the back." (Lunar 2 easily sidesteps the drunken Jive and slices one of his eyes out after kicking his ass proper but leaves the slob alive.) (Lunar 2 exits with Jive, now a one eyed man, bent on revenge from then on.)
(Jive hasn't had enough. He takes out his ionizer and shoots at Lunar 2.) (Lunar 2 absorbs the shot which makes him stronger. He laughs and walks away, never to be seen by Jive again.)
Next day's newscast: "A captain known only as Jive 320 was apparently drunk last night and drove his ship straight through the atmosphere without any shielding. He then opened his crappy ship's hatch and jumped out into open space. His remains were found by a farmer who sold them to Lothe Lan, owner of the freeport bar. Lan will put them up on a wall of his and smear some 'red paint' found inside Jive's still-beating heart when he was recovered. Jive will not be mourned, all he ever did was go online and post messages all day."
Lunar 2 scheming away in the darkness, where no one can find him....
Off Subject: Nice. You're still a fool though. I like to take advantage of people's mistakes no matter how minor they are.
(Pike goes to Lothe Lan and buys Jive's beating heart (your mistake :))) (Pike puts heart into regeneration machine) (Jive is reborn and is as healthy as the day he died (probably healthier)) (Jive with all body parts in place goes over to the two remaining lunars) (With broken bottle in hand Jive... greets the two and decides to help them) "I like your style" (The three drink Brandy until the next morning)
Off subject: no one likes druken violent slobs. Thankfully I'm not one of them. As long as you don't hurt me I won't hurt you. I know when I have met my match Lunar 2 :).
Im Baaaaack, sorry i took so long
(Oedipus walks into bar) (sees Jive) (goes over to him) ("i was just out beating down a few strandless planets, sorry i didnt tell you")
------------------ Life is evil, live with it
(This message has been edited by Oedipus (edited 07-09-2000).)
(Breck walks into the bar) (Breck orders some brandy and gets himself extremely drunk) (Breck then bashes his own head with a chair) Thought i would save you the trouble, Jive. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Is this thing supposed to be on fire?"-me
------------------
(Oedipus walks over to Breck) "dont worry about saving Jive the trouble, im more sadistic than he is" (Oedipus pulls out ancient weapon known as an AK-47) (wastes entire clip on Breck, who now has many more holes than before)
"Save me the time? Oh no no no. I prefer to do it myself" (Jive smashes chair on Brec Neck) (Jive pulls out ionizer and fires six times into leg) (Brec Neck with many holes and no leg, is placed into incinerator) (Brec Neck's ashes are placed into blender) (Jive fires at the mush with ionizer) (Brec Neck's particles are put in atom splitter) (Jive puts these in salt shaker) (Jive places salt on pretzels) "Where do you think the salt comes from?" (Jive takes a shot of Brandy)
You can't kill me that easily! (Jace Kasar, Breck's brother walks into the bar) (grabs salt shaker) (pours salt into beer can) (adds water (since there's no water, he adds brandy)) (waits) (watches as Breck rematerializes) (comments, "People, Kool-aid, what's the difference?") (they both get really drunk) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Is this thing supposed to be on fire?"
(Jive bashes both of those guys ih the head with chair) "How dare you steal salt!!!" (Jive charges them $5.50)
------------------ Feel the Jive ------------------ I'm not as think as you stupid I am.
"If it weren't for my horse I wouldn't have spent that year in college" -Lewis Black ------------------
aaahahaha, that was cool jive.
Jack+ the Second, hereby known as Jack+2, is drunk.
{"I'm not drunk, and you wouldn't dare shay that to me if I was shober"} {Jack+2 buys rifle from Jive} {What ever happened to handheld guns?} {"Hey Jack+2, what do you = ?"} {"Huh?"} {Jack+2 shoots at poeple in the bar} {Due to his lack of Sobriety, with a capital S, Jack misses everyone} {"Thish pishesh me off"} {"Is anyone here a designated driver?"} {"Show me the way to go home, I'm tired and I wanna go to bed"} {"I had a l'l drink about an hour a'go, and ish gone right to my head"}
Jack+2=?
------------------ "Not an Electric Sausage"- Marvin
"Happiness is a warm gun"-John Lennon
I am a proud member of Dogbert's New Ruling Class
Originally posted by Jack: **
Jack+2=? **
Jack+2=Jack2
(Jive takes rifle from Jack+2) "NO ONE shoots when they are drunk... except for me that is." (Jive pulls out ionizer and shoots wildly) "hehe. That was fun." (Jive takes shot of Brandy)
Originally posted by Jive 320: **(Jive is respawned in the after-life where he creates life in paralel dimensions where evryone comes back along with some ghosts and spirits who rebuild the bar and the universe) "You can do anything you want on an EVO board ;)" (Jive kills Necromicon by stuffing him in blender) (Jive puts anti-Necromicon device (similiar to anti-Ed device) over the door) (Necromicon is never seen at the bar (or any where near it) again) "Take that Necromicon!!!!!!!!!!!"
No, No, No. I destroyed the afterlife. All these posts after mine are figments of my imagination...la la la...
------------------ Oh, I'm sorry. Did that break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Please, continue. I believe you were saying something about "best intentions." -Jules. Pulp Fiction
(url="http://"http://www.secretchimpboard.cjb.net/")Secret Chimps Funk-O-Rific Forum(/url) Visit it now! It's much better than UBB! (url="http://"http://www.AmbrosiaSW.com/cgi-bin/ubb/newsdisplay.cgi?action=topics&number;=20&forum;=*EV/EVO+chronicles&DaysPrune;=25&article;=000024&startpoint;=")The Tides of War(/url)
Oxymoron: Microsoft Works
Jack+2 does not equal Jack2. Jack x 2=Jack2
{Jack+2 pulls out a fiberglass knife} {"It can't be detec..detectce...decetc...deteceted!! by metal dectcors"} {Jack swings wildly} {"Give me back my gonesh, they are the only friensh I habb"} {"I am not du...dur...dur...dunk....drunk!!"}
(Breck, is VERY drunk) (He is also tired of all this math) (Breck pulls out a shotgun and begins shooting everyone who was doing 'math') (More 'red paint' is splattered on the walls) (Breck counts the dead bodies) "two, no, four, no, ahh, who cares" (Breck orders more brandy) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Is this thing supposed to be on fire?"
(Ubermann sits down and watches math being done to figure out which jack is which) (Sips brandy) (Decides calculus is too hard and tries algebra instead) (Sips brandy) (Decides algebra is too hard and tries division instead) (Sips brandy) (Decides division is too hard and tries addition instead) (Sips brandy) "Ah, screw it!" (Decorates the bar with more 'red paint')
------------------ Oh no! It's locked!-Harry Damn it Pam, stop glowing-Harry Eat staples electro-breath-Harry
Some people need to wash their gene pool
A.S.S Cuisine reporting for duty!
{"Whutsh Maaaaatsh?"} translation-Whats Math?
(Sips brandy) (Passes out on floor) (Wakes up to Breck Kasar looking in his face) "AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" (In a panic, Ubermann fires his Pea Pistol) (Three neat holes show up in Breck's chest) "I will pay for that!" (Fires until Breck is nothing but random atoms) (Looks at walls) "Man, I should become an interior decorator!"