The Albatross

Paranoid finishes going through the identity crisis. Paranoid returns to it's usual neutral status.

Paranoid attempts to stop the fighting between VC and WCS clans, but is impaled by hundreds of pop-tops in the process.

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"What if to reach the highest place you had to fall?"
Peter Mayer

OV takes a drink and goes off to fight the evil warriors from the Hairy system

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Oh i'm not addicted, it's a hobby

Cresent calls the Ringwraiths with her special whistle and hypnotizes them. The Nazgul throw their wierd dart thingys(like they threw at Faramir and Theoden's horse) at Frodo and all the clones, and give them fevers and knock them out.

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To err is human.
To err and blame it on someone else, is even more human.

OV wonders when this story turned into Lord of the Rings

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Oh i'm not addicted, it's a hobby

Quote

Originally posted by Overrider720:
**OV wonders when this story turned into Lord of the Rings

**

This is actually the second time that The Albatross has become Lord of the Rings like.

Frodo puts on the Ring and summons Gollum to kill Cresent.

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One ring to rule them all, One ring
to find them, One ring to bring
them all and in the darkness bind
them

Eru Illuvatar destroys the LOTR props in the bar. I have nothing against LOTR, you realise , the deity says, But it's kind of upsetting to see it when you come in here to get nostalgic about Number Two. Thankyou.
That said, maybe now I can get down to buisness.
-----
The door of the bar swings open with a squeal, a brief wind fluttering the clothes of the occupants as the pressures equalise.
The figure who enters is tall, clad in a long denim greatcoat and steel-capped boots. Pockets bulge with unknown treasures, and a wicked-looking pair of phase pistols hang from the newcomer's belt.
"Greetings all." Shade says, raising a hand in welcome. "Few of you, I think, will recall me; I know I recognise few enough of you. I have been elsewhere for ... sometimes it seems like years.
Though I am not who I once was, I remain Shade. Mess with me, and you will regret it."

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"I suppose it's Friday night in America, so I oughtn't to expect heaps of people to be on, but honestly! Do all of you have lives?" - Me, #ev3

Cresent calms down and throws Frodo and Gollum out the window. She sits down and gets a Vanilla Coke while suspisiously eyeing Shade.

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To err is human.
To err and blame it on someone else, is even more human.

"That stuff rots your teeth, you know." Shade tells her, glaring equally suspiciously (not that anyone could tell it behind mirrorshades). "Stick with something nutritious, like blood."

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"I suppose it's Friday night in America, so I oughtn't to expect heaps of people to be on, but honestly! Do all of you have lives?" - Me, #ev3

"Die Vanilla Coke, DIE!!" Frodo says as he destroys all the Vanilla Coke in the galaxy.

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One ring to rule them all, One ring
to find them, One ring to bring
them all and in the darkness bind
them

Frodo seems to be unable to consider the desires of others around him. Paranoid hits him over the head with a rubber chicken.

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"What if to reach the highest place you had to fall?"
Peter Mayer

Shade laughs at the sight of Frodo being beaten over the head with a rubber chicken. "Back when I first arrived, that would have had a lead core."

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"I suppose it's Friday night in America, so I oughtn't to expect heaps of people to be on, but honestly! Do all of you have lives?" - Me, #ev3

Frodo throws Shade into the acid pit.

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One ring to rule them all, One ring
to find them, One ring to bring
them all and in the darkness bind
them

Shade sighs, and climbs out of the acid pit. "Did I hurt you? No, I didn't hurt you. So why in hell did you do that? Now you've gotten holes in my coat." In a movement so fast it is almost a blur, Shade has two phase pistols pointed at Frodo. "You know, Hobbits are supposed to be nice. I may have not hurt you before , Mr. Baggins, but you've just gotten holes in my coat. These things are hand made on Earth, you know - they cost heavy credits. I'm afraid I'm going to have to shoot you on principle, for that."
WHAM. WHAM. WHAM.
Bright golden bolts of energy fly from Shade's guns, ripping large, bloody holes in Frodo's chest. The Hobbit slumps to the floor, if not dead then close to it. Shade crouches down next to him, and reaches out. Thick red blood on an index finger; Shade licks it off delicately, makes a face. "Urgh. Blood type "crap"."
Grabbing one of Frodo's still twitching hands, Shade drags him over to the acid pit, and kicks him in. "See how you like it."

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"I suppose it's Friday night in America, so I oughtn't to expect heaps of people to be on, but honestly! Do all of you have lives?" - Me, #ev3

"It looks as if Shade has forgotten about my massive Yoshimitsu army, or else he might not have messed with me" Frodo mutters to himself. "It looks like I am going to need to remind him." All of a sudden a huge ship pulls in and thousands of Yohsis come out of it and kill Shade.

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One ring to rule them all, One ring
to find them, One ring to bring
them all and in the darkness bind
them

Paranoid sighs at the never ending violence and leaves to rejoin the sane world, after dumping garbage trucks of Vanilla Coke and White Cream Soda into the bar. A parting gift.

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"What if to reach the highest place you had to fall?"
Peter Mayer

Shade rises from the floor, and steps over to the acid pit where Frodo is residing. " Now look what you've done. You've driven away a perfectly good bargoer! I don't know what you have against me, dearie, but it's getting tiring."
WHAM. WHAM. WHAM.
Frodo's body sinks below the surface of the acid slowly. Shade smiles at him as searing acid floods into the mindless Hobbit's lungs, choking him.
That done, Shade spins around, and kills a Yoshimitsu with a WHAM of phase energies. Shade tastes the Yoshimitsu's blood, smiling a little.
"All you other Yoshimitsu clones, I can kill you just as easily as I killed that one. So quit trying to kill me, behave yourselves, and get yourselves a drink. That's on my tab, bartender - I'll be back in a minute or two."
Shade throws a large-denomination CredStick across the room to the bartender, and slips out of the bar.
The bargoers go back to their drinks, their games, or their endless little feuds, only to be distracted as the massive ship outside disengages from the station, powers up it's drives, and plunges into the gas giant. Below the roiling blue clouds, a faint white light blossoms as the ship's hull implodes and it's containment fields fail.
A few minutes later, Shade reenters the bar with a self-satisfied grin.
"What the...? How did you get off that ship?" someone asks. Shade turns the grin to bear on the speaker.
"You didn't think I was actually on that ship, did you? That's easy enough to do with a network console and a little skill."
At the bar, the Yoshimitsu clones have gotten rapidly drunk, and are singing something off-key in Japanese.

(edit)Sorry, misplaced apostrophe :redface: (/edit)

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"I suppose it's Friday night in America, so I oughtn't to expect heaps of people to be on, but honestly! Do all of you have lives?" - Me, #ev3

(This message has been edited by Shade (edited 06-14-2003).)

Zurg walks out of the storage room as if nothing had occured. Pulling his hood over his head he returns his pistol to it holster and straightens his cloak. Moving quietly he sits down at the bar and orders a saalian brandy.

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" Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one. "

  • Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat

The Red Warship docks. DZ walks in, dragging the head of an extremely large gerbil. "I killed this elephant in Michigan!" he announces proudly.

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Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy... and then he dies.

Shade peers at DZ's gerbil head in puzzlement. "Elephants must have changed since I last saw them. The ones I knew had less hair and bigger teeth. But do get yourself a drink on my tab, and tell me about how you killed it."

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"As you are now, I once was.
As I am now, so shall you be.
So come, prepare to follow me."
- Unknown Epitaph

DZ is extremely angry at the message boards, because they did not log him in automatically, and he typed the password in wrong, obliterating his story. He collapses to the ground and begins to snore.

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Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy... and then he dies.