UBB: Ultimate Boozerama Bar

Quote

Originally posted by nfreader:
**notes that the bar is filled with n00bs that don't understand old traditions, rides off into the sunset

**

Jacey notes that once nfreader and the rest of the boozy veterans leave, Jacey will have succeeded with his original plan: to break the spirit of Boozerama.

Nfreader receives a thank-you card in the mail, signed
-Jacey, from russia with love

Bond meanwhile concocts a plan to kill Jacey for such a poorly used, absolutely unclever, nonfunny copyright violation.

------------------
...to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
(Mt7:8)

Bond sues Jacey, and gets himself a lawyer.

In court:

Lawyer:Isn't it true that you didn't send the card from Russia?

Jacey:Um...yeah.

Lawyer:And isn't it true that you didn't send it with love?

Jacey:Uh...yeah.

Lawyer:And isn't it true that you stole the card from K-Mart?

Jacey:How did you know that?!...I mean...no!(nervous laugh)

Lawyer:Ladies and gentleman of the jury, I rest my case.


Bond wins his lawsuit and gets 150 million credits. Unfortunately, Jacey has to loan 149.99 credits from the bank, going into deep debt. Bond decides not to kill him, leaving Jacey in his living hell.

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"I see you have a goldfinger on the shelf Dr. No" "Yes, I got it from the spy who loved me" "Was she on her majesty's secret service?" "No, she came from Russia with love."
(This message has not been edited by bond-jamesbond (edited 04-01-1990).)

(This message has been edited by bond-jamesbond (edited 08-10-2004).)

Quote

Originally posted by bond-jamesbond:
**


Bond wins his lawsuit and gets 150 million credits. Unfortunately, Jacey has to loan 149.99 credits from the bank, going into deep debt. Bond decides not to kill him, leaving Jacey in his living hell.

**

Deep debt? Ha!
Jacey laughs at Bond's little mistake in calculation.

149.99 credits isn't much money at all, so Jacey sells the afterburner on his ship for 2500 credits and keeps the change. After all, if he was able to pay 149999850.01 credits of 150 million, then the remaining 149.99 credits shouldn't be a problem at all.

Always use proper units with your numbers, kids.

Jacey gives Bond a moment to think about that.

------------------
...to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
(Mt7:8)

The ghost of bob wanders around, until it find's the world of Casper. He uses the machine to turn back to life, and decided that he needs a drink at the bar. He enters, and begins to wonder how Jacey is still alive, considering that the 50 man team killed him, before they were killed themselves.

He forgets this though-provoking question five beers later.

------------------
"You don't want to sell me deathsticks"
"I...uh..I don't want to sell you deathsticks!"
"You want to go home and rethink your life."
"I..uh..want to go home and rethink my life!"

Quote

Originally posted by Cheezy_Cracker:
**... He enters, and begins to wonder how Jacey is still alive ...

He forgets this though-provoking question five beers later.

**

Jacey approaches Bob and hands him nineteen more beers, hoping that alcohol poisoning will damage his brain enough that he'll never ask such a thought-provoking question again.

------------------
...to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
(Mt7:8)

Quote

Originally posted by JaceySquires:
**Deep debt? Ha!
Jacey laughs at Bond's little mistake in calculation.

149.99 credits isn't much money at all, so Jacey sells the afterburner on his ship for 2500 credits and keeps the change. After all, if he was able to pay 149999850.01 credits of 150 million, then the remaining 149.99 credits shouldn't be a problem at all.

Always use proper units with your numbers, kids.

Jacey gives Bond a moment to think about that.

**

Bond chases after Jacey with his B.A.R. Jacey runs into his ship, Bond runs into his own. Bond catches Jacey and shoots him down easily, as Jacey no longer has an afterburner. Jacey ejects in an escape pod, but the escape pod is launched straight toward the sun, with no other ships in the area...

------------------
"I see you have a goldfinger on the shelf Dr. No" "Yes, I got it from the spy who loved me" "Was she on her majesty's secret service?" "No, she came from Russia with love."
(This message has not been edited by bond-jamesbond (edited 04-01-1990).)

At Jacey's dying moment, he wonders suddenly what happened to emainiac: a former lover- NO! - nemesis...

Could it be that one of the boozy vets has left once and for all?

Jacey congratulates him on the success of his venture just before his flesh burns and his ship bursts into pretty flames.

------------------
...to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
(Mt7:8)

Jimbob kickflips to indy over the spine.

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<Insert Clever Saying Here>
(url="http://"http://www.Livejournal.com/users/schlichtinator")I'm awesome(/url)|(url="http://"http://www.penny-arcade.com") Penny Arcade! (/url)
Let us run through the flowers of red and gold,
and dance naked under a building of bricks!

Jacey resurrects and performs a late 360 shove-it to boneless'd!!

------------------
...to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
(Mt7:8)

Bob's brain is permanently damaged from all the beer, and he never asks a good question again...

------------------
"You don't want to sell me deathsticks"
"I...uh..I don't want to sell you deathsticks!"
"You want to go home and rethink your life."
"I..uh..want to go home and rethink my life!"

Rickton is sad.

------------------
The box said Windows 95 or greater...so why doesn't it work on a Mac?
Member of WORRPBOITAMPSH, whatever that is
Minion of the Divals Imperium

Bond buys Rickton a drink.

------------------
"I see you have a goldfinger on the shelf Dr. No" "Yes, I got it from the spy who loved me" "Was she on her majesty's secret service?" "No, she came from Russia with love."
(This message has not been edited by bond-jamesbond (edited 04-01-1990).)

Rickton drinks the drink, then decides to turn the artificial sun back on.
He then visits the pharmacy in the corner and buys a pair of cheap sunglasses.

------------------
The box said Windows 95 or greater...so why doesn't it work on a Mac?
Member of WORRPBOITAMPSH, whatever that is
Minion of the Divals Imperium

Bond puts on his sunglasses, but accidentally pushes the button on them, blowing up the table that Jacey was sitting next to.

"Oops."

Bond shrugs and orders an orange soda again.

------------------
"I see you have a goldfinger on the shelf Dr. No" "Yes, I got it from the spy who loved me" "Was she on her majesty's secret service?" "No, she came from Russia with love."
(This message has not been edited by bond-jamesbond (edited 04-01-1990).)

As Jacey's spirit drifts away from his blasted corpse, he wonders again whatever happened to nfreader and emainiac... He goes searching for another bar patron to haunt.

------------------
...to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
(Mt7:8)

(This message has been edited by JaceySquires (edited 08-11-2004).)

Bond realizes he's been killing Jacey a lot recently, so he buys him a drink.

Bond downs his orange soda in one gulp, then orders another one.

...

------------------
"I see you have a goldfinger on the shelf Dr. No" "Yes, I got it from the spy who loved me" "Was she on her majesty's secret service?" "No, she came from Russia with love."
(This message has not been edited by bond-jamesbond (edited 04-01-1990).)

It looks like the bar really has gone to the newbs.

------------------
The box said Windows 95 or greater...so why doesn't it work on a Mac?
Member of WORRPBOITAMPSH, whatever that is
Minion of the Divals Imperium

Quote

Originally posted by Rickton:
**It looks like the bar really has gone to the newbs.

**

Bond hopes Rickton will check (url="http://"http://www.ambrosiasw.com/cgi-bin/ubb/postdisplay.cgi?forum=Forum10&topic;=011700")this(/url) out.

------------------
"I see you have a goldfinger on the shelf Dr. No" "Yes, I got it from the spy who loved me" "Was she on her majesty's secret service?" "No, she came from Russia with love."
(This message has not been edited by bond-jamesbond (edited 04-01-1990).)

Quote

Originally posted by Rickton:
**It looks like the bar really has gone to the newbs.

**

While I resent being refered to as a "newb," bond's post shows that there is a difference between this and being a "noob." Whatever your intent may be in making your statement, no matter... perhaps my presence will repel you from this place, Rickton.
-cackles-
All is going according to my sinister plans.

Oh yea, and Jacey regenerates instantly so he can expand the acid pit into the formidable presence it was always meant to be.

He also wonders why no one bothers to teach him how to properly booze it up, Boozy style.

------------------
...to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
(Mt7:8)

Rickton points out he said "newb" not "n00b," and invites bond to take his own advice and look at it.

------------------
The box said Windows 95 or greater...so why doesn't it work on a Mac?
Member of WORRPBOITAMPSH, whatever that is
Minion of the Divals Imperium