you know you've been playing too much Uplink when...

Guest_sadisticmaniac_*

I searched and noted that there was no such topic on these boards, and noted a lack of pointless humor on this boards, so I decided to start up a YKYBPTM...

Let's see how far we can take this, shall we? I'll start it off:

...when your alarm clock beeps and you scream in terror, "OH MY GOD, THEY'VE ALMOST TRACED ME!"

...when after failling a test (or an entire class for that matter) you go searching for the international academic database.

...when you strap fireworks to your computer... Just in case...

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Bright is the moon high in starlight
Chill in the air cold as steel tonight
We shift, Call of the wild, Fear in your eyes
It's later than you realized (Metallica-Of Wolf and Man)

Shenlon

...you post a topic like this...

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-Shenlon.
I put the "S" in... sssssssss...
(url="http://"http://www.homestarrunner.com")Homestar Runner(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.theforce.net")The Force(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.united-trackers.org")United Trackers(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.resexcellence.com")ResExcellence(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.iconfactory.com")The Icon Factory(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.gamefaqs.com")GameFAQs(/url) | (url="http://"http://shenlon.modblog.com/?show=main")Shenlon's Useless Blog(/url)
"Hehe. I fell in love with the female horse and the high-pitched male." - The Space Between

Klepsacovic

...you reply to a topic like this.
...you are surprised when Al'Queda doesn't accept your application, then when you try to kill them you learn that you aren't very good at playing Unreal in reality either.
...the ingame music becomes the soundtrack of your life.
...you think of yourself as a virtual virtual soldier.
...your hard drive is filled with billions of backup copies of agents.
...you actually read or write all of this.

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Maniak

11. You think that Gateways are good computers.
12. You save up all your cash to buy a computer, then think you've got all the money you need.
*13. Whenever you do any missions involving people, or meet a person, you write his name down so you can get him arrested later.
14. You don't leave your home in fear someone will spot you.
15. You don't let anyone live in your home for fear someone will spot you hacking.
16. You don't marry for the above reason.
17. If you didn't do #14, you buy a laptop so you're always available to hack.
18. You set your computer's clock 7 years in the future so you have an alibi if someone sees you.
19. You blow up the jail, just in case.
20. You hack banks just to brag about it.
21. After you get addicted to Uplink, you buy all of Ambrosia's games in hope that they're interesting too.

means I've done it.

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Maniak hacks like
crazy!

(This message has been edited by Maniak (edited 10-20-2003).)

TomRix

So, pray tell, why doesn't #21 have an asterisk behind it? I've played just about every demo and bought a few Ambrosia titles. (and my home Mac doesn't really work anymore, either.)

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Getting on everybody's nerves since 1999.

Shenlon

Quote

Originally posted by TomRix:
**So, pray tell, why doesn't #21 have an asterisk behind it? I've played just about every demo and bought a few Ambrosia titles. (and my home Mac doesn't really work anymore, either.)

**

Because he doesn't HOPE they're interesting. He KNOWS they're interesting.

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-Shenlon.
I put the "S" in... sssssssss...
(url="http://"http://www.homestarrunner.com")Homestar Runner(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.theforce.net")The Force(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.united-trackers.org")United Trackers(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.resexcellence.com")ResExcellence(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.iconfactory.com")The Icon Factory(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.gamefaqs.com")GameFAQs(/url) | (url="http://"http://shenlon.modblog.com/?show=main")Shenlon's Useless Blog(/url)
"Hehe. I fell in love with the female horse and the high-pitched male." - The Space Between

Maniak

Actually, it's because I didn't buy all of them. I don't own Pop-pop or EV Nova, for example. But get back to the topic, folks!

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Maniak hacks like
crazy!

mrxak

...you volunteer to moderate this forum.

Guest_sadisticmaniac_*

...when someone knocks on your front door and you blow up your computer.
...when you've completed both storylines (separately, of course) on the crummy little ALPHA gateway you start out on.
...when you write your uplink agent name instead of your real name on any forms you fill out.
...when you go to buy a new computer and ask the salesman, "how many Gq's of memory does it have?"

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Bright is the moon high in starlight
Chill in the air cold as steel tonight
We shift, Call of the wild, Fear in your eyes
It's later than you realized (Metallica-Of Wolf and Man)

Maniak

You try to build your own real custom gateway.
You request to secretly move into the Uplink building so you can safely get security upgrades for your own computer as well.
You steal the Uplink Agent list...
just to send it to Uplink and say they need more security.

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Maniak hacks like
crazy!

Klepsacovic

...you respond to this twice.
...you buy a Gateway, then put a bomb in it for security (I just do this because I hate PCs)
...you can sing along to the ingame music, even when there aren't words
...you regularly destroy the Internet to cover your tracks, whether you've done anything or not
...you kill your school's system administrator so you can hack in and change grades without him tracing you
...you break into Ambrosia HQ, hoping to find the room with your enemies' gateways
...you try to play EV Nova, and get frustrated with the lack of computers
...you start contests to see you can spread Revelation the fastest, and win
...you have written a real version of Revelation
...you are confused by my use of the word "real"
...you get arrested at the airport for smuggling in a bomb, then get mad when they don't understand that you need it for your laptop
...0010001000101000101001001010000010100101001001010010110
...you know what that means

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mrxak

Quote

Originally posted by Klepsacovic:
...you break into Ambrosia HQ, hoping to find the room with your enemies' gateways

Guest_sojourn_*

Quote

Originally posted by Klepsacovic:

...0010001000101000101001001010000010100101001001010010110
...you know what that means

(/B)

0010001000101000101001001010000010100101001001010010110 means (ρη?% so I'm going to assume you were not trying to write anything.
I guess I play Uplink too much(at least I used to), but I don't remember about binary code in it.

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Maniak

Actually, I might want to decrypt it with the Matts Encrypter, but I think I'd probably get the same as you.

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Maniak hacks like
crazy!

mrxak

Well it isn't a multiple of 8 bits, so I'm not sure if any program would translate it correctly. The best thing to do would just start backwards and go eight at a time with an ASCII table.

TomRix

...you see a female's picture and wonder, "What is that humanoid-like thing?"
...you memorize the dictionary cracker for kicks.
...a 'friend' asks for 300c at the start of each month.
...you spend hours at a time searching for the elusive Cap'n Hector (or one of his ilk). Of COURSE s/he'd be diabolical enough to play a hacker-pirate, and find a way to frame you several times over.

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Getting on everybody's nerves since 1999.

Maniak

Yeah. I'll momentarily stray off topic and say, Wouldn't it be cool if after 30 days, you get disavowed for "not registering your account"? Funny. But let's see here:

47: You try to make your own patch for Uplink.

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Maniak hacks like
crazy!

Llythiumn

... you write a story based on the game and find out you can almost recite things like the screen that comes up when you enter a government system.

Yeah, I've done It- here's a quote

"This is a government system, blah, blah, blah, all attempts at illegal access will be met to the full extent of the law, blah, blah, blah, valid user accounts: Readonly, ReadWrite, Admin"

so far the story sucks though, and I dont think It's going to get much better.

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Find Out Just How Gullible You Are!: Send $50 to 45 Goodridge Dr., st.Albert, AB, Canada

solaris150

- You haven't been to the boards for half a year and this is the first place you go to.

Maniak

Wow, you really haven't been here for half a year. :huh:

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Maniak hacks like
crazy!