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Ok everyone else seems to be putting out story teasers(I must admit, that one about Dansaal and his brother was very interesting) so I decided to put a little out there for everyone to see. Here goes... -------------------------------------------------------------- "You didn't actually think it would work, did you, Dareklor." The question was more of a statement, Gods don't usually ask questions. "How was I to have known that the 9th wouldn't discover his purpose?", Dareklor replied from the shadows of a clearly ancient room. A fire burned in the fireplace, revealing walls of stone, covered with combwebs. "Then the 11th will have to be revived, I suppose. She was killed.. how long ago now? Ah, 178 years ago." the God seemed to be talking to himself, with a raspingly evil voice. "The corpse will not be fresh, Korsaq," the man in the shadows, Dareklor, noted. "Pity. The 11th is needed though, because the others were not informed of the 9th's purpose as they were supposed to be. You have disappointed me, Dareklor" "Why don't we just send Istaroth, the 10th, to 'inform' the 9th?" Dareklor asked with a sneer. "I shouldn't have to tell you that. The 10th hates the 9th with a passion rivalling that of my own hatred for that fool, Zentau. He couldn't stop himself from killing the 9th if he were near him. And before you ask, no I cannot inform the 9th. It would only alert Zentau to my plans" "I created the 9th, but I don't see why he's so damn* important" "You aren't capable of under---" the God started. "I know all the others's purposes, why not his?!" Dareklor cut in. "It would only distress you. The 11th has been revived, by the way" "So soon? Your priests really are efficient, Korzaq" Dareklor complimented. The room was suddenly filled with an aching shriek, and purple lights danced around the center of the room, between the God and the Dareklor. A skeletal woman appeared. She did not have much left of her flesh, and the pieces that stuck on were a light grey in hue. "Why have you awakened me, fleshling?!!!" the zombie screeched her question with an eternal anger in her voice. "It was not me, 11," Dareklor replied, visibly shaken by the sudden appearance of an undead woman in the room,"it was Korzaq, the God of Chaos and Tumult" "11, you must inform the 9th of his purpose, then I shall allow you to return to the Realm of the Dead" Korzaq said. The woman threw back her head and laughed, her once beautiful blonde hair now turned white shimmered in the firelight. "Consider it done, Korzaq," the woman almost giggled,"it will be an honor to kill the Destroyer!" And with that the purple lights engulfed her. The woman's hollow cackle echoed in the room. "Kill him? She can't do that!" Dareklor protested. "I have to agree. It will be an interesting battle nonetheless, and I intend to watch it" Korzaq calmly replied. The God's presence vanished from the ancient chamber, and Dareklor spat the words to remove fire towards the fireplace. Instantly the fire was gone, and Dareklor teleported out of the darkened room, to keep an eye on the 11th. Miles away, in the Eagle Glyph Inn, just southeast of Lightkeep, the 9th awoke with shout. Something was terribly wrong. ------------------------------ Ok that was it, please don't steal from it. I'm sure you can come up with better ideas, oh so fast. Oh and the name Korzaq, please forgive me for such a typical name, I'm workin on it. Feel free to give me some feedback. I mean if you took time to read it why not just tell me what you thought. If it was terrible tell me it was terrible, if it needs work, let me know. Etc.... Oh one more thing, when you play this game your character is "the 9th" and you gradually enlist the aid of the 1st to the 8th(you kill 11 and 10). I'll add secret characters like the 12th and 13th and so on, only if it benefits the game though. *yes I swore, Necromicon uses the word damn in some posts so don't ban me or something.
------------------ "There is no escape"
(This message has been edited by Lorenoth (edited 12-31-2000).)
First of all, relax man, no-ones gonna be mad at you unless you somehow manage to get past the boards filtering system. If 'damn' was considered offensive it owuld have been filtered out with the rest of them.
On to the story! Great idea choosing to do a narative, I wonder where you got that idea to do that )(only kidding, and thanks for you comments about mine). I like the whole imagery this conjures up, ancient prophecies and gods associating with the mortal - very cool. The onhly problem I saw, was the unlcarity about who was actually in the room. I know that Darelock and Korzaq are in the room as well as number 11, but was there another person in the shadows?
Overall a great narative.
------------------ (url="http://"http://www.AmbrosiaSW.com/webboard/Forum10/HTML/001524.html")The Tides of War(/url) (url="http://"http://www.ohhla.com")The Original Hip-Hop Lyrics Archive(/url) Hip Hop Recomendation of the week: the Wu Tang - The W ------------------
(This message has been edited by the Necromicon (edited 01-01-2001).)
I like it. It sets up a good atmosphere for your game. I think I'm going to have to write up a narrative so I can keep up with everyone else...
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Thanks for the feedback, I don't get much praise at home.... Of course I never show my relatives what I'm doing most of the time. I'm sure anyone still living at home might now what this is like...
------------------ Kirin- A half deer/half dragon that plagued the lands of ancient Japan. It is said that Kirins are responsible for more deaths than any other deer. Recently Kirins are not very common however...
::casts mirage::The apparition materializes on the couch robed in overalls, hoody and his new pair of One's.
please for the love of all that is dear...Post the ghist of your plots/story line to your game(I enjoy reading don't get me wrong), and if you have character sketches (written/graphical) release them to the public('board).
::casts darkness, illusion dissapates::
------------------ "With an icy glare of indignity..." -------------------------- Status as of )12/27/2000): Web Board offender with a Karma rating of -1. "All my Ofenders let out a yell."
oh dang. Now chill is confusing ME. not the other way around.