well no one psted a topic for a while

So here is an other short story by me

Aric woke up to a sudden loud noise. He looked around wondering what that noise was. Oh whell he thought and he returned to sleep in his organic bed. At 10:00 (ET) Earth time Aric’s bed started to shake him off it, he hit the snooze button and then got up. He walked into his kitchen and greeted his parents. Aric opened up the bio-gar and popped in a brekfast pill. In seconds it turned into a full sized brekfast of dried Nil'kemorya eals and orange pokorian pods. He sat down at the table when his mother told him that it was almost time for his training at the Nil'kemorya training camp. Aric hurridly ate his brekfaced and got onto his Smart-kart, a nifty little scooter that takes you places fast. Phew 5 minutes to go till school i thought i would be late! Aric parked his scooter and enterd the training facility of the Nil'kemorya. And ran to his study class.

Aric your late again said the teacher.... Sorry sir aric replied. Ok class set your bio-pads to page 54 and we wll research the old earth continents and how early advanced man made his way around life. Aric since you were late why dont your read the first paragraph? Yes sir, Early advanced man was not very smart. They were constantly polouting the Earth and destroying all their wildlife. They were lucky to even survive if it was not for their colonies on distant planets and when the great fire of 1127 killed almost everything that was alive on Earth. (see page 67 for information on the great fire) The rich peple managed to find a shuttle to the nearby colonies but the poorer people were not so lucky. They managed to hide in the old mine shafts and escaped the fire but their genetic DNA was alterd giving them telepathic abilitys. This new kind of humanity called themselves The Vellos they managed to make telepathic ships to transport all of the remaning humans from Earth into the eastern part of space. Ok Aric we will stop there, who can tell me a little about the great fire? Masdara raised her hand into the air and said that it was a fire that had started by all the poloution and man could not put it out and it burned everything. All right class I will now hand out a small quiz about our polaris ships there is a picture of the ship and you must name it. It covers the ships we studied over the past week. After 15 minutes the test was over and the bio-bot collected all the papers and the teacher said it was time for break. Class I will see you in 10 minutes when break is over, oh and Aric dont be late again.

Aric greeted Masdara and asked how she was doing. Im doing fine she replied how are you? Not bad not bad, i cant wait till the end of the year when we turn Six-teen and we get our Mantas. Yea Masdara said I hope they put us on patrol together. The bell rang and it was time to go back to class. All the student filled back into the classroom execpt for one student. Masdara will you be willing to go and get Furang for me? Ok sir she said. She got up and left the class room with her red hair swinging as she rounded the corner. Weznex it is your turn to read. Please read chapter 2.....Suddenly there was a scream outside in the hall way and the teacher told the class to be still for a moment whell he found out what happend. Aric got upand went to the door wa to peer out at the teacher talking to an armed Nil'kemorya warrior. He said that a Burrow spy has just kidnapped 2 students and was heading back to Earth the Sol system. Aric saw the teacher comming and he returned to his seat. The teacher enterd the classroom with a distrot looking face. He told the class that Masdara and Furang have been captured by a Burrow spy and that he would go after the spy to get back Masdara and Furang. The teacher dismissed the class for the day and hastilly departed for the space docks. Aric was very wooried about Masdara, he always liked Masdara. He decided to follow his teacher to the docks and to see if he could be of any help.

Aric arrived at the docks to see that his teacher was getting into his Arachnid and it was being loaded with all the food he and his crew would need. Aric noticed an empty food crate near the ship. When no one was looking he got into the crate and hide in it while someone heaved it into the ship. Aric heard his teachers voice over the intercom anoicing take-off. Minutes later the hip was viontly leaving the atmosphere of the planet and faced the direction of Sol. An aoutomated voice sounded saying for everyone to get in there Biogenic-capsules to be frozen for the long trip. Aric tried to open the box but couldent. It was stuck against an other crate. He rocked in the Crate untill it roled over and the lid came off and he was free. He stepped out of the cargo hold and enterd into the eirliy lit hallway of the arachnid and he headed towards the comand deck. As he reached the cammand deck door he saw a few biogenic tubes with crew members in it. The door opened and he saw alot more tubes inside the command deck. He looked how long it would tke the ship to get to sol an it sayed 05/04/23 Five months, 4 days and 23 hours. Aric thought wow that will take way too long. Hed ecided to go to the hangar where the mantas lived. When he enterd all the mantas looked at him but they did not do anything. He knew one of these ships must belong to his father who was a Nil'kemorya warrior abord this ship. He touched his hand on the biogenetic scanner and a lite saying #4 appeard. The manta with #4 painted on it flew over to Aric and opened its mouth up. Aric stepped inside the manta and rembering his studys on how to fly it set the destinatian on the controle panel and slwoly guided it out of the hangar. He set the ship to hyperdrive and before he was frozen he knoticed the time to sol was 01/03/02 thats alot faster.....and Aric blacked out. He awoke thinking his bed was trying to wake him up again by shaking him so he hit the snooze button and set of a few rounds of Polaron torpedos. The loud nise of the torpedos really woke hi upo and he realised that he was not at home n his bed but he was in a manta. He remebred the day bfore and how Masdara was captured by the spy.

Aric checked his sensors and he realised he was near the Sol system. He signed onto the network linking his manata to the mothership and got the Id number of the ship that kidnapped Furang and Masdara he immiadatly disconected from the server so he would not be tracked down. He punched in the id number into his keypad and his scanners immiadatly locked onto the ship. The ship was docked at Kaneband in the Federation section. Aric activated the cloking device and docked with Kaneband. He took out the Weaponry box fro under his chair and selected a heavyblaster and a Polaron blaster. He then set his clothes to appear to be the latest style of Federation clothing. He stepped out into Kaneband and knoticed how busy it was. Aric tried to comunicate with Masdara but the telepathic signals were very faint being distorted by the constant disturbances. He received a signal telling him that the kidnaper enterd a bar. He asked a local merchant selling a bizzare fruit witch he never seen before. where is the bar he asked? Its just around that corner by mikey’s emporium. Aric eneterd the bar and saw asdara being led through a back door into an ally. He pushed his way through the bar carefully avoiding the very drunk people to the back.He took out his Polaron blaster and was about to fire when a man said that it would be a bad idea because you might miss and hit the young lady you are chasing after. Aric used his Telepathic senses to detect that this man had telepathic ability far greater then his. The man introuduced himself as Mu’ rende and that he is a Mu’ hari placed on Earth to be a spy. Aric come to my house i would like to talk to you about the kidnaper. Aric followed Mu’ rende to his apartement. Mu’rende unlocked the door and enterd. I sense that you are tired young one, you may use my couch and we can talk tomorow, dont worry about the young lady i know where they take them.

Good morning Aric, are you ready? Aric grogily sat up and looked at Mu’rende and gave him a puzzeld look. Ready for what Aric asked? To save that young lady of course. But first you must eat.Mu’rende enterd the kitchen and started making brekfast. Aric if you want to watch the holo-news you can shouted Mu’rende from the kitchen.

Today folks is the interstellar space carnival appearing at Kaneband today and tommorow, it is the perfect family event for only 5 Cr per person.

An Aurorian fleet was destoyed after it was spotted near the Sol system and it was qwickly turned around thanks to our navy.

Aric come brekfast is done. Aric switched off the hlovision and went into the kitchen to see a wonderfull brekfast of eggs bacon and sausages. Wow I never had bacon before is it good? Before Mu’rende could answer Aric was already digging into his food. When Aric was finished his brekfast he complemented Mu’rende on his great cooking skills. All right Mu’rende said lets go find the young lady and the young man who were kidnapped! Mu’rende left the appartement and locked the door. Aric followed Mu’rende into a back ally where a nice hovercar was parked. Mu’rende how did you afford a nice car like this? Asked Aric. Mu’rende said i dident offord it. Aric watched as Mu’rende telepathikly unlocked the doors of the car and then bent under the dashboard to hotwire it. The car started lifting off the ground with its jets spinning and Aric got in. Mu’rende flew the car niely out of the ally and into the steet.

Far too much of a hurry. You're rushing the story, not using much in the way of dialogue punctuation.

But the idea itself I like.

CHeers,
Guapo