I.D.S.

A Corrupted Witness Protection Program

The I.D.S. was originally created so that the Federation could protect witnesses on stands. However, as most systems in the Federation, it became corrupt. The Bereau first began the transition when several of its agents were under the danger of the death sentence, the Bereau demanded that they be given new identities. The Auroran Sympathizers called this outcry, but dissappeared for some reason. Brett knew al these things, but the Immunity Defensive Service gave him a lot of benifits, such as immunity, free housing, and a Starbridge. As its agent, it was his job to quiet those who had been given new lives but were speaking out against the Federation.
The one he was dealing with today was a former Wild Geese Operative, now living in the Federation. He had been given a fake identity so that he could obtain information on Polaran trading on a distant planet known as Vrenna. He was based on Port Kania. However, recently he had come out of hiding, and soon Kania would be in open rebellion, and the Polarans would strike, destroying Kania and all her surrounds. Brett knew what the term, "Quiet them" meant. They were not to be seen ever again.
He landed on Kania, and left to go visit the university, where the alleged "Usurpur" was teaching. He noticed that for a moment Kania's lasers had been pointed at him, but had decided that he was no danger. That had never happened, even when he was riding in a Pirate ship, the lasers of that station were rarely activated. This must be business. Brett stepped out, and was immediately surrounded by security guards. He identified himself as a Space Racing Agent, to scout out Kania as the next intergalactic major space racing location. After being passed, he headed towards the University.
He entered the room, as a student late. The subject was standing on the stage, almost preaching of the evils of the Federation. He opened his communicator, and muttered a couple words. The lights of the room went dark, and the entire crowd went silent, then started whispering. When the lights went back on, Brett was gone with the speaker.
His trenchcoat shuffled noisely as he escorted the Speaker to his Starbridge. As he was heading towards it, three security guards stopped him. He blew a hole in one of their heads. And kept walking. He felt the winds of the blast as he stepped into his ship. As he was taking off a Federation Gunboat was landing on the station.
On the News the following morning, it said: "An officer who had arrested a guilty civilian was walking through the port when he was jumped by some security guards. A firefight ensued, as the officer took off in an unidentified Starbridge. The station would have been in full rebellion if a Federation Gunboat had not landed and stopped the Rebellion. On a similar note, the acknowledged Professor Campbell of the Kania University spoke against the rebellion, claiming that 'We cannot strive to achieve Polaran treatise if we refuse to have peace with ourselves.' Campbell had muttered threats of rebellion before, but this was unpredicted. Their were thirty casualties to the firefight, the witnesses. All dead."
Brett smiled as he read it. Professor Campbell was on the DESPERATION where he would soon be transported to the Northern Space. He sniffed his new paycheck as he headed towards his home on the Aristocratic New England. However, he couldn't get something off his mind that he had been told as he received it. "...thanks, he was a threat. He will pay for his crimes, without dieing of course, he doesn't deserve that fate"...

If you haven;t already heard it from your english teache.. SHOW, Don't tell.

and watch out for sentences that just run into eachother... your structure needs soem work.

But teh concept is a original one. Just need more development.

did i miss something here?