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Lugh hurtled down the narrow corridor, his feet slamming down steadily on the metal floor. The rythmn went on uninterupted until a blaster bolt furrowed through the wall beside his shoulder, exploding in a spray of blackened metal. A harrowed frown on his face, Lugh glanced over his shoulder only to have a second bolt hammer into his back and send him spinning to the floor. He staggered to his feet , but another bolt crashed into him and he collapsed, blood seeping through his jacket.
Tuan frantically pulled back on his thruster, but it remained firmly jammed. He aimed an angry kick at the ship's dashboard and shouted once again into his microphone. "This is The Eire! The Eire! I am located in the.....Jesus Mary!! Jesus!" Tuan finally abandoned hope of saving his ship as it broke through the planets atmosphere. He pulled a laser pistol from the leather holster on his belt and carefully aimed at the mechanism controlling the hatch to the escape pod. Hit by the incredibly powerful beam, the door swung open, and Tuan leapt towards the pod. The door swung open and Tuan threw himself inside. The automatic release failed to kick in. Suddenly Tuan remembered his ship was disabled, and turned to the manual control panel. "Bloody hell...." he murmered, feeling a fluttering in his stomach. "That is not good." A spark crackled from the hole in the hull where the control panel had been.
Padraig took another swig from his bottle and eyed the barman moodily. "Waddaya mean yeh wont gimme any more?" He fumbled in the deep pockets of his overcoat and pulled out a wicked looking knife. "Yeh see this? Eh? Yeh see this? Well if you dont gimme a drink yeh'll be seein' it from a lot closer." The barman raised one eyebrow, a trick he had perfected over many years, and very slowly handed another bottle to the disheveled man. He then stepped back carefully, still grinning nervously, and shot him in the chest twice. Twenty minutes later, Padraig woke up in the street, which was swimming hazily in front of his eyes. He stuttered his way toward an alley, and noisily threw up. As he stood up, he felt a sharp stab in his neck. A cultured voice whispered hoarsely - "Hands up! A..hah..hah..hahahahah!" There was a sharp squeal and Padraig fell silently.
In a Federation Destroyer circling the planet of Aria, Balor smiled.
To Be Continued...
Quote
Originally posted by Froulston: To Be Continued...
Bet it never was.
This story is confusing, it seems to be in three short parts. Together they don't make any sense.
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Yup.
Chronicle 303. sigh
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????????
Originally posted by some person: ????????
Care to be specific?
------------------ Man, have pity on man
What the hell is up with the last line? It doesn't make sense, doesn't fit.
I have no idea what the story is about. You're just listing random events as if you're undecided about what the story should be about. If these events are in any way related, tie them together somehow.
And all three paragraphs are about someone dying. Sure, my TNW series has a person die like, every three paragraphs, but those make sense , and are there to get the point across that war is not just something you read about in a history book; it is ruthless killing. No matter how attached to someone you are, they might die in two seconds and you'll never hear from them again. In your story, people just die.
I do admit, though, that having 3 C-in-Cs die was probably a little much...
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