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Installment number four, obviously. This will be the final installment, and it's probably the best of the quartet.
Tollingston was furious. In the past week, the top two commanders in the entire UE Navy had been killed.
The first with a single sidearm blast. The second from a swarm of enemy ships.
Tollingston was now Commander-in-Chief of the UE Navy. He was on board the current UES Gallant, followed by a fleet of other Cruisers, plus Carriers, Destoyers, and Fighters. This time, a swarm could not get them.
The previous C-in-C, who had died only 48 hours ago, had been naďve, arrogant, and foolish. He'd figured he could take the fleet by himself.
Surprise, surprise, Thompson. You flunked.
He returned to his quarters and left his crew to their duties. He stared out the porthole at an incredible nebula. He remembered the first time he'd ever seen a nebula. He remembered the day that his parents...
Get a grip, he ordered himself mentally. It's just a stupid nebula.
He turned away from the porthole. if it was going to bring back horrific childhood experiences, he would not look at it. But he still could not help but remember that fateful day, when they were flying along peacefully, and suddenly, the Renegades came...
STOP IT! he yelled at himself in his mind. STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT!
For half an hour he struggled to regain control. But the terrifying pictures formed in his mind anyway. He collapsed, cluthing his head.
Thne Renegades boarded the ship. His parents went to the hatch and were shot immediately. The rest of the crew perished with them. he was alone...
Suddenly, Tollingston blacked out.
The guard examined the body that lay before him. It was a human, no doubt about that. But what was his position in the Human Fleet? he knew him from somewhere. But where? He remembered a frenzy of action and chaos and fire and destruction and death. Then it clicked. This guy was the one he had blown up!
How did he survive, though?
Did he make it in an escape pod? He hadn't seen one. Or perhaps he was thinking of a different human. Perhaps this was some other guy.
Perhaps he was not, in fact, the former Commander-in-Chief of the UE Navy.
People screamed. People fled.
People died.
The fleet was invading Saalia.
"SCREW YOU!" one young man was shouting at the Dreadnought. For some reason, he was holding up his hand in a funny way with only one finger up. But the captain of the RFS Headhunter had no time for this. Though he did wonder what a screw was and what it had to do with him, he figured that it must be an insult of sorts and that weird wave was supporting it. Just an instinct.
He shot the man with a Neutron blast and he dropped dead.
A fleet of humans headed toward them. They were disadvantaged. the humans would win. That was bad
That was very bad indeed.
Suddenly, his ship was enveloped in Blaze fire and Rockets and Hunter missiles. And ships.
Many, many ships.
They had all ganged up on the bad boy. The Dreadnought. The ass-hauling machine.
Its ass-hauling days were over.
His shield readings dropped. 43%, 39%, 32%, 30% 27%, 26%. Soon, it was down to 10%. Then it lost its shields and had only armor to rely upon. The human ships had torn through most of his armor on the Starboard side. A little longer and the air pressure balance necessary to maintain Romulan life on board a spaceship would be upset, and they would all be sucked out of the ship to their doom. Scrap metal flew. Some hit human ships. However, the scraps were not enough to destroy the ships. The headhunter was doomed.
Then, a huge bang.
The air was flowing out.
The Headhunter's crew were going to die a slow, painful death.
Every single one of them.
"Commander, Flagship destroyed. Repeat, flagship destroyed. Over." Johnson continued his status report. "Ship sustained heavy damage, requesting withdrawal.Over."
"Withdrawal granted. You have thirty minutes to get a new ship. Over."
Johnson took hold of the helm of his Destroyer and hit the afterburners. He swerved away from the vacuum Dreadnought. Bodies flew from the opening. It was a sickening and disturbing sight. He pointed the nose down toward the landing platform below, turned off the afterburners, and activated the landing thrusters, all while trying to put that horrific scene out of his mind.
But more than that, he tried to put his past out of his mind. His past was ugly and brutal. He had started out as a trader, but soon had his own customized turncoat and began attacking weak ships and plundering them.
Then he would kill them.
He entered the spaceport and headed over to the nearest dockhand to ask where the base commander was. He jerked a thumb behind him toward the bar, and so that was where Johnson went.
He hated that last name. it was so dull and boring. Why couldn't it be something interesting like the C-in-C, Tollingston, or maybe even his Academy professor, Barnhart? But nope. it had to be Johnson. The topic put his mind off his past and the sight a thousand feet up. He opened the door and was hit in the back by a Neutron blast.
The flagship was destroyed. Half the now pathetic fleet was also gone.
A third of the UE fleet was dust.
They Romulans fought savagely. A few Frigates even rammed their triangular sides into the fronts of other ships to cause more damage. The UE, on the other hand, fought gallantly.
Had the UES Gallant been there, the name would have suited it well. The UE were toasting the Romulans to cinders, and they were going to win.
Had the Romulans been using their Warpods, the UE would be completely gone already. but they weren't. They were using Voinian ships. That gave them the upper hand.
A half-hour later, the Romulan fleet was gone. The UE had only an eighth of their fleet left. But they had won.
The UES Gallant landed on Saalia to refuel, and an incredible sight met their eyes: the fleet had been here.
Yet only a fraction of the planet was destroyed.
The defense fleet must have won.
That was good.
Two C-in-Cs had died from that fleet.
That was bad.
But in the end, it doesn't really matter what's bad. What matters is what's good. The defeat of the Romulan fleet was a good thing.
Therefore, it mattered.
Decent, but the ending felt a little rushed. It also suffers from being too technical, such as naming the percentages of the shields.
Four would be "IV", by the way.
------------------ Man have pity on man
Quote
Originally posted by Jas86:
Actually I've seen a few clocks that have IIII instead of VI. IIII is certainly easier to read.
this story is not the best story I've seen but it's not that bad. the main problem was that the story was way too rushed.
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(This message has been edited by Captain Phillips (edited 12-09-2003).)
Originally posted by Captain Phillips: Actually I've seen a few clocks that have IIII instead of VI.
That's even worse, since VI is 6.
Originally posted by Captain Phillips: IIII is certainly easier to read.
I beg to differ; I'd rather see IV than IIII. I've got better things to do than count multiple I's.
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I've got to agree with Evula on the IIIIIIIIII thing becas its a lot easier to an X than all those I's
And nice way to finish the trilogy of good work
-split-
------------------ People just dont see it- they want to you to just skate in a skate park. You cant have a pro career in a skate park.
Good job. The only thing I have to say is that they were a bit sparse on detail, almost more like isolated snapshots than a continuous narrative. But if it suits you, go on ahead. My preference is for stories dripping with auxiliary information, but that's just the way I think.
I hope you're happy with the amount of time you've gotten. The people behind you are probably getting annoyed ;).
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To all those who say it was rushed: Yeah, it probably was. I had so much fun writing the first three that I couldn't help myself. When I get an inspiration to write, I write.
Sorry about the IIII, I didn't notice that, but it doesn't really matter.
UE: When you say, "isolated snapshots," are you referring to the switching from place to place? The idea was to give the story from multiple of viewpoints, so you get a feeling of what's going on overall instead of just in one place.
Oh, and what do you mean those behind me are getting annoyed? Do you mean the people who have been supporting my stories are getting annoyed that all they can read is my work? Well, I can't help that nobody posted inbetween my stories.
By the way, Eric, when you get my next post (not including the blank one I accidentally sent by pressing return), could you reject it? I don't want to have to explain what's going on with that project. I also hate the plot. It was when I had recently finished this quartet, and the ending sucks since it is an ending you would find in TNW.
I don't know how you'll respond to this, but I figured it was worth a shot to ask.
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Go and delete your post; barring that, delete everything in your post and post an explanation so EVula knows why he suddenly sees a blank post.
(NOTE: I found this link in someone's signature. Can't remember whose.)
(This message has been edited by UE_Research & Development (edited 12-14-2003).)
And so it ends...
Just my personal preference but I do not think the lines "That was very bad" or "That was good" and "That was Bad" should be in there. First of all they are unneccesary to your plot and it insults my limited intellingence when I am told something that is clearly obvious, like the good guys finally winning, is a good thing.
------------------ In one hand he held his Sunspot 210 spot light and in the other an old M-40 machine pistol blaster; to slaughter any blood sucking aliens. He smirked, for someone who had just hit twenty-three he really had an over active imagination, he repeated what his mother used to tell him. There are no aliens, just ferocious monsters under the bed. Come to think of it, she was a very bizarre woman.
Originally posted by orcaloverbri9: By the way, Eric, when you get my next post (not including the blank one I accidentally sent by pressing return), could you reject it? I don't want to have to explain what's going on with that project. I also hate the plot. It was when I had recently finished this quartet, and the ending sucks since it is an ending you would find in TNW.
Do you mean your (teaser) one? It wouldn't have made it anyway, since it was too short.
If that's the one you're talking about, I'll delete it. Next time, though, email me directly for this sort of thing; I just happened to check the Chronicles to see if anything was amiss.
(quote)Originally posted by EVula: **Do you mean your (teaser) one? It wouldn't have made it anyway, since it was too short.:D
Interloper: It's a story.** It was not intended to insult your intelligence. It was meant to end a series, and quite frankly, I think I did a pretty damn good job of it, or else it would have ended up carrying over into a fifth story.
(This message has been edited by orcaloverbri9 (edited 12-16-2003).)
My apologies for picking apart your stories. Overall, it has been better then many novels I have read. It is just currently I am having more bad days then good ones and I have been using the chronicles as an escape and as a place to vent. So I once again, apologize and look forward to your next series here.
Originally posted by Interloper: My apologies for picking apart your stories. Overall, it has been better then many novels I have read. It is just currently I am having more bad days then good ones and I have been using the chronicles as an escape and as a place to vent. So I once again, apologize and look forward to your next series here.
Now I feel pressured to make a new one.
Mutters to himself Just finish this damn homework, Brian...
Decent job, orcaloverbri9. You stay in the active voice fairly consistently; that gives this chronicle an immediacy lacking in much amateur fiction. Your ending seems rather trite, though, it is too obvious to work philosophically and too impersonal to work any other way.
------------------ Sometimes it would stop raining long enough for the stars to come out. And then it was nice. - Forrest Gump Check out my (url="http://"http://www.livejournal.com/users/~celchu")blog.(/url)