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Praetian Dawn
Ragged breath. The churning of wind. Lightning struck, flashing over the terrain like an electric blue ocean. The rumbling of engines overhead. A crack of thunder. More ragged breaths. Warmth spreading all over his body.
It wasnt supposed to be like this.
They must have been waiting. A trap. Caught like thieves in the Royal Palace. Praetorian rifles to their heads. Fear in their eyes. The last intake of rusty breath before the shot. Twelve interdictor ships in orbit couldnt have been a coincidence. No way. No ****ing way.
Dull shouting in the distance. The sound of weapons fire. More thunder washing over them. A terrible symphony of metal and earth. He hoped some of them had made it back into orbit. But he knew they hadnt.
Lieutenant! Get up! We gotta go!
Go where? The shifters would be here any minute. Nothing boosted morale for soldiers more than capturing the guy who was just firing at them. He could see them pulling him up to his knees. If they had mercy, they would put a bullet through his skull into his brain. If they didnt, hed be alive. But would he really?
Hes dead. We gotta leave him.
Jim. His best friend. He felt the tug of his ID tag being ripped off. He wanted to shout. He didnt want to leave Tolia. It was beautiful there. Endless fields of grain, swaying back and forth in that eternal dance. The sun overhead, lighting up girls faces and reddening farmers necks and giving birth to all things. But Tolia was a long way off now.
Wait. Wait!
He must have moved. They took his tag but they didnt leave. Jim shook him. They must have known he was alive, but where was he? Dreaming? Thinking?
What the **** is the matter with you?
They came around every few seasons. The men in dark grey and blue. Steel armor. Cold eyes. Tolia was usually spared. One of the Emperors favorites. But things were bad. The Taetians were closing in. The Coeve couldnt be far behind.
Hes still alive! We cant just leave him here!
His father had tried to hide him. But they knew. They always knew. They knew when they took his brother and all of his neighbors almost ten years ago. He still remembered the day. His brother looked almost proud.
Were gonna save the Empire. Were doing good.
Three weeks later he was killed on the northern front. He still wondered if his brother had done any good. The Empire was weak. Soldiers were few. Money was running out. Times really were bad.
Good? What the **** are you talking about? I aint gonna stay out here and die!
He opened his eyes.
Fire. Lightning. Dust. Jagged rocks. The crash site. The world of AelTaegea peered down at him like a curious little dog.
I ****ing told you! Makel! Can you hear me?
It was all coming flooding back. After months of training hed forgotten it all. Let it all slip. He didnt care anymore. Mae had married that cripple with the farm down the valley. His father was dying from the radiation sickness. The doctors called it old age.
We gotta go! Theyll be here any minute!
He didnt recognize the other man. But Jim, smiling weakly down at him, he knew. His best friend. Drafted the same day. Not in the old days.. his father used to say. They used to pay their army men to fight. They never even knew Tolia existed. Other than when they ate our bread. God, how times change.
Calm down. Give me a minute.
They pulled him to his feet. Gray armor covered his body. Blood soaked his hair. Not his own. His arm felt burned. The parts he could feel. Without a word, they started moving, pulling his limping form across a field of ash. A field of ash. It nearly choked him to death. There were bodies everywhere, lying half buried in the gray sand. Their blue cloaks fluttered in the breeze. So many dead.
Where are the others? We need to find cover!
Two scout fighters flew over, tearing at them with a ferocious current of wind. They tumbled to the ground like a drunken fool in the gutter. He choked on the ash. Jim pulled him back up. The other man did not move. Jim pulled at him. The man began covering himself with the ash.
**** off. I aint dyin cause of that cripple. Im takin my chances here. Hidins better than runnin!
He knew the man would die. And he didnt care. Theyd drop bombs that ignited the ash. The mission training was coming back. Class C world. Inhabited. Military base, type 3. Very unimportant. Only a few hundred soldiers. Maybe a few frigates and destroyers. The only reason anyone stayed there was for the ash. A chemical compound used in engine fuel. He was ready to laugh. They were dying for oil.
Well have a better chance in the mountains. Come on!
Jim began pulling him along. A better chance? How can you better your chances when theyre zero, and always will be? He was ready to laugh. But something burned in his gut. The Empire was dying. And he with it. The Praetian Empire. He wanted to laugh. The last glimmer of light in the galaxy. He laughed again. Jim looked at him.
I could use a good joke right about now Makel. Whats so ****ing funny?
Just like Jim. Didnt care where or when. He was always ready to laugh. Ever since grade school in that little old farmhouse down the road and past the fenced hill. He laughed. His teacher spouted bull**** she called history. The Praetian Empire once spread from one side of the galaxy to the other. But times have changed. Now we only control half of what was once the heart of- He laughed. He knew the truth at that age.
The Empire is dying, Jim. Isnt that funny?
Jims grip on him tightened. He did not answer, only looked back, grimly. He was ready to laugh again. The shifters would be here soon. And then, theyd swallow up the hopes and dreams and loves and memories and hearts of all the young dead people in the field.
It wasnt supposed to be like this. We were supposed to win.
The start of another glorious northern campaign. Another. He wondered if anyone had figured out that things werent working out. The barbarians werent barbarians. They were men. Smart men, who had waited and waited and waited. In their frozen little worlds north of Aeta. What a world that must have been.
It was an ambush. A god damned ambush.
They took Aeta fifty years ago. Fifty years. Two of his lifetimes. And still the Praetians wanted it back. And everything else theyd lost when civilization had fallen apart. When law ceased to matter. When unity became a world that meant nothing. When civilization became uncivilized. When Emperors became Gods. And men became insects.
They knew we were coming. They knew we were coming.
It wasnt a hard puzzle to solve. The Praetians rarely tried anything new. Usually just straight ahead, guns firing. Hope to hit more than they do. So the Emperor will have a smile on his face when dinner is served in his court. His court. Lots of royal people sitting around being royal. He smiled. His last dinner had been bread of Tolia. A small loaf hed stashed in his bag before shipping out.
Here. HERE!
Jim pulled him down, behind a large cluster of rocks. Shifters roared overhead. The ground shook. The planet seemed to explode in primal fury. But they were safe. Safe. The corpses not a hundred feet away from them were burnt to ash. Just another layer of gray soot in the lungs of the next invading army.
Were safe. Were safe. I dont believe it. Stay down. Stay down. Theyll come for us.
He knew they wouldnt. The Empire didnt care about a small platoon of scouts from Tolia. They did their job. They just happened to get killed doing it. Mission accomplished. AelTaegea was a hotbed. Game over. Finished. He and Jim were the only ones left. Theyd be found soon enough.
God. God.
He used to love the Empire. They were strong. And arrogant. Conquerors. The heirs of a mighty dynasty. His first Praetian flag hung outside his window for seven years. Then they came. And didnt stop coming. One year after another. For more and more young men. The future heroes of the Empire they boasted. But it turned out there were no heroes of the Empire. Only corpses. Nearly five hundred years worth of them.
They arent coming. Theyre all dead, Makel. Were stranded here. God.
He wanted to laugh, but he thought Jim might kill him. So this is where the path ended. Fifteen years on Tolia, on the rim of the Praetian Empire. Two years of training. First assignment, to scout ahead for General Sarius campaign into the north. Shot down scanning the defenses of the world of Ael Taegea. He burst into laughter. A shifter flew nearby. Troops dropped from the bottom bay.
You ****ing fool! Stop laughing! Theyll hear us!
Too late. There were fifteen rifles aimed at them before they could blink. They were lead away from the rocks through the ash field, now almost knee deep. For almost a mile. Wordlessly. The guards made no sounds. Only followed their leader. A dark man bathed in shadows. A flowing black cape. A hideous, velvet, oily, beautiful black. Like Maes hair that used to tease the small of her tan back.
Halt. Now.
They stood at the edge of a cliff. In the valley was a base. He didnt feel like laughing anymore. His stomach felt full of rocks. And wet, soggy ash. They were forced to their knees, rifles at the back of their heads. The lead man turned around. He looked down at them with the look of a man about to flatten an insect.
They sent you to scout this planet, yes? Well, by all means. Scout.
Jim made no sound, only stared at the ash. But Makel stood. Jim glanced up at him. Not noticing, he stared off into the distance at the small base. At the center was a huge glowing blue ring of energy, surrounded by shields and defenses of every kind. A warp gate. Interplanetary. So. This is what was really on Ael Taegea. Quite a twist, eh? Mae used to love saying that. The leader smiled.
Satisfied?
Makel nodded, then knelt down beside Jim again. His breath began to taste like rust. But no fear in his eyes. He closed them, his face looking to the ground. A clap of thunder. Lightning filled the valley with crackling blue sky. There was silence. His eyes opened. Every man around him was dead. Jim knelt next to him, looking around. Amazed.
What the..?
The valley was now obscured by infuriated, dark clouds. A terrible electric storm. Bearing down on them. A huge roar of wind overhead. They struggled against it. But it wasnt wind. A small Praetian scout vessel descended from the clouds. Without a sound. Just like that. Touching down nearby to them. The side door flew open, revealing several soldiers. Grey armor covering their bodies, energy rifles in hand.
You boys need a lift?
General Sarius men. They had come. Shot down their captors. Killed a few men just like them. Jim and he were saved. Saved. As they were brought aboard, he laughed. The other men chuckled nervously. They had not seen the warp gate. Only he and Jim had. They knew. They would tell the General. They would be heroes of the Empire. The first.
But all he could think of was the man lying in the field of ash who had died for no reason. None at all.
The words choked in his throat. Maybe it was the ash of Ael Taegea. Of other soldiers like him. Or maybe they were the words of his brother. Or of the Emperor. Or the Empress. Or Mae. Or his father. Or maybe even his own. He didnt know. He didnt care.
Long live the Empire.
(This message has been edited by Bomb (edited 05-19-2003).)
Excellent story. Not surprising, either.
As for the rest of you, sorry that I completely missed adding a story last week. I was incredibly busy last week, and as a result, never even got around to posting a "sorry" post. Oh well, at least the story that was up is a good one.
------------------ (url="http://"http://www.evula.com/")EVula,(/url) your friendly (url="http://"http://www.evula.com/")self-promoting(/url) EV & EVO Boards/Addon/Newswire/Chronicles moderator (url="http://"http://www.evula.com/")evula.com(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.evula.net/")evula.net(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.evula.org/")evula.org(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.ev-nova.net/")ev-nova.net(/url) :: (url="http://"http://forums.evula.com/")Lair Forums(/url) (url="http://"http://pftn.evula.net")pftn(/url) | (url="http://"http://dreamwave.evula.net")dreamwave(/url) | (url="http://"http://davidarthur.evula.net")davidarthur(/url) | (url="http://"http://ucplugs.evula.net")ucplugs(/url) | (url="http://"http://jager.evula.net")jager(/url) | (url="http://"http://stark.evula.net")stark(/url)
Kinda trippy.
I likey.
As for you EVula: You've been a bad boy, go to your room.
------------------ Man have pity on man
Sentence fragments. Just phrases. Overuse of the punctuation mark 'period.'
Where have all the verbs gone? The gerunds are overruning us!
------------------ "You have to give up. You have to realize that someday you will die. Until you know that, you are useless."
Well, I too tend to use lots of broken sentences and overpunctuation. I do it because it is how we Americans talk. Nothing wrong with that, its just style.
This is a very good story because it breaks away from a standard writing style. Most people can write a story but few can write a emotion or a experience. That is what this was, a experience.
On a side note, I would have liked it a little better if everyone had died...because I'm sick like that.
------------------ Death is inevitable... How will you face it? (url="http://"mailto:wolf-sigma@excite.com")mailto:wolf-sigma@excite.com(/url)wolf-sigma@excite.com
I like it.
Is it done? There wasn't much of a description about the whole empire and stuff and how it came to be, and who the bad guys were, ect. Plus it didn't seem like the end of a story to me.
Other then that, Cool!
------------------ That wedge of cheese can't hurt anyone! So don't dread it - it even says not to
Wow, this is a really well written story! I really enjoyed how you employed the fragmented stream of conciousness-like flow of the story- it really made me feel the inner turmoil and confusion of the shell-shocked narrator. I also liked your use of strong descriptions as well as the symbolism of the title, "Praetian Dawn".
A couple (teensy-weensy nit-pickety) points:
The phrase "They were dying for oil" seems a bit out of place... Though perhaps a commentary on current events, it seemed odd for the narrator to draw a parallel between oil and ash, especially since (in my opinion), the setting appeared to be far enough in the future to have advanced far beyond oil (i.e. warp gates and shields dependent on petroleum-based fuels?) Then again, you did comment on ash being a "a chemical compound used in engine fuel", so it could be plausible... Ha ha, it'd be ironic if future cultures never grew beyond their dependence on oil... Interesting, that...
The other thing is... "MORE!" I swear, great tales are addictive! This board is like legalized drugs, except, um, being already legal, and not being a drug... Keep on pushing your stories!
EDIT- Gah! Good grief, garbled grammar...
(This message has been edited by Astyanax (edited 07-26-2003).)
I liked that "ash/oil" connection...it's a rather more subtle political commentary than that "Bush tried to shoot them all"...
Seriously, good, very good on the story. A bit "Starship Trooper"-ish, but very well done.
Cheers, Guapo (I like my propaganda soaked in the sauce of metaphor ;))
------------------ "Quote it, paraphrase it, soak it in peanut oil and set it on fire. I don't mind in the least." - forge Founding Member of WORRPBOITAMPSH (url="http://"http://guapohq.jonpearse.net")GuapoHQ - for all your Guapo needs(/url) (url="http://"http://insanekp.tripod.com")The Insane Klown Posse Website!!!(/url)
(This message has been edited by ElGuapo7 (edited 07-30-2003).)