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CHAPTER 1
The UES Saratoga is a United Earth Cruiser, the flagship of the Southern space fleet currently based at Tulir.
The UES Saratoga's usual crew compliment consists of over 323 crewmembers, including an entire company of 100 Marines belonging to the 101st marines, the "Vanguard", credited with the successfully taking of over 15 Voinian Frigates. The Saratoga also a compliment of 15 UE Fighters, plus auxiliary craft and 25 UE pilots belonging to the fabled 15th fighter squadron.
The main crewmembers are: Captain Tyler Durden A skilled commander with over 25 years experience famed with being the only commander to take on the infamous Voinian 3rd attack fleet and win, twice!!! First mate Matthew Blake - Mat works for Dylan only because he is filled with insanity, hatred and skill; the perfect tactical officer!!! Navigation Officer Nicola Kochanski Arguably one of the best navigators in the fleet. Known to have a sarcastic temper. Be warned if you piss her off, she won't just tell you where to go, she'll draw you a map!! Tactical Officer Cody Langley A brilliant tactician and great 'Risk' enthusiast, has an aristocratic voice and is good friends with Blake. Luke Landry - Luke is a "converted" renegade and is on the ship as a contact, as he has contacts in the U.E., Renegades, Militias, etc, knows way too much. Tech officer Kelly McGowan - Kelly is the Tech and software officer on the ship. In one word: Lost! Spends too much time on computers. Major Mike McArthur commander of the "Vanguard", doubles as the security officer. This man is a Nutter with a vicious Rambo air about him. Always insists on leading every boarding party! Causes most of the fights in the Mess hall!! Medical Officer Dr Jack Greenfield great doctor, constantly tired, sometimes stoned. One of the few people who can do a heart transplant on an Emelgan correctly whilst stoned!!!! Lt. James Keller - Mike is an excellent negotiator and is excellent at getting deals and people not to sue us for shooting them.
At this present time the Saratoga is on lone patrol along the border of Strandless and Renegade space, assigned to deal with the threat of possible renegades fleets accumulating along the border. The ship is currently in the Huron system with its escorts and the rest of the Southern fleet resting at the UE shipyards on Tulir.
CHAPTER 2
Captain Durden sat on his command chair of the bridge quietly sipping on his mug of coffee reading the finer details of the report on the latest mess hall brawl. It was a good read, leaving two engineering officers with broken legs after Major "Mad Dog" McArthur had wrapped one of the mess hall steel chairs around them. Durden couldn't help but snicker at the sheer stupidity of these two officers at picking a fight with a man who had once beaten to death 3 fully armed Voinian Marines with one of their own severed arms.
Still, all crew had to obey discipline and at once summoned the waiting Major to his presence. "Well Mike, my good friend, I can't really punish you because were drinking buddies and you buy the rounds."
"I know Tyler," replied the Major.
With a sudden idea Durden replied, "I suggest you spend some credits on some kind of present for the two people you hospitalised."
"Yes sir," Mike replied with a sarcastic salute. "You still coming to the officers bar tonight, Tyler? I owe you a beer."
"Of course!!! I'll see you tonight, and its your round!" at that the Major walked off with his very distinctive chesty laugh.
Durden looked at his watch 15:30 UE time. "Time for hyperspace I think; Kochanski put coordinates in for the Troub, Langley arm weapons. We're going whaling!!!" With a muffled laugh Kochanski did as she was ordered and the console lit up for a few seconds, flickered then died. Kochanski cursed out loud before grabbing a large monkey wrench from a tool box besides her and hit the side of the console. With an angry WHACK!!! The console spluttered to life and confirmed the order given to it before it died and the huge ship ungracefully lined up ready for its hyperspace jump then with a deafening drone of the engines reaching high power followed by a white flash jumped into to the uninhabited system of Troub, infamous for renegade pirate and UE 'whaling' attacks.
As soon as the radar confirmed its position in the middle and the lack of any planets Langley let out an inaudible shout with an aristocratic voice "three Turncoats off the port bow sir, the lead one is hailing."
"On screen," ordered Durden standing ready to threaten the renegade captain.
The view screen spluttered into life to reveal a small dirty bridge of the turncoat and an equally small dirty captain in the foreground. The Pirate captain was truly an inspiration for birth control; He looked like a cross between a Voinian woman and a Camel from earth.
Durden couldn't help from feeling repulsed as he began to speak. "This is Captain Durden of the UES Saratoga, Disarm your weapons and prepare to be boarded!"
The Pirate looked very scared (for a camel) and sheepishly agreed shouting at his subordinates as the view screen flickered off.
The Shuttlecraft was extremely cramped but incredibly clean considering it was carrying a squad of fully armed Marines all prepping their weapons and one lone UE officer James Keller exploring in awe at his weapon that had just been passed to him. The two escort fighters broke from their formation and began their sweep of the system as the shuttlecraft prepared to board the lead Turncoat.
All the marines stood up and with a synchronised beep armed their weapons and readied themselves as the ramp slowly lowered revealing a large bay. The Marines sprang into life, accompanied by the shouting or rambling of the sergeant. Within seconds the bay was secured with marines posted at every corner of the bay guards outside the shuttlecraft and other Marines disarming the surprised crewmembers.
James both exited the shuttlecraft to be greeted by a second shuttlecraft landing just in front of them. As before the Marines from the second the double doors leading towards craft sprang to life, joined the other marines and gathered around the rest of the ship.
Just as the marines prepared to enter, the doors flew open and 5 pirates all armed with blasters filled the room with blaster fire hitting one marine square in the chest blowing him backwards, the vengeful faces of the pirates quickly turned to fear as blaster fire from the marines was fired back all hitting their targets and leaving the bloodied remains of five pirates.
The UE officer slowly walked towards the bridge. He knew he was safe because all the corridors were full of frightened little crewmembers getting searched by marines plus the fact that he was carrying blasters. As he reached the bridge a very angry renegade captain/camel greeted him.
Keller went to work. "Sir, this was going to be just a routine search until your crewmembers began to shoot at us, now this ship and all your escorts will be searched thoroughly, and if anything is found you and your crew will be arrested and spend the rest of your days on a prison planet!!"
The renegade captain looked very angry (for a camel) as he was led away by two marines.
UES Saratoga report 49656 July 5 2040 Troub system Results of Level 3 search Sparrow (Lead Turncoat) 5 tons of Bronev plating 3 illegal space mines plus launcher #CAPITAL OFFENCE# 15 tons of medical supplies with UE stickers bound for Luna 5 wanted crewmembers 35 illegal UE blasters
Turncoat-347 (Turncoat) 5 tons of Bronev plating 25 illegal immigrants 2 wanted by UE 25 illegal Emalghan blasters
S.S. Landry (wanted Turncoat) Wanted captain Bligh ECM system #CAPITAL OFFENCE# 25 wanted crewmembers
(This message has been edited by moderator (edited 07-01-2002).)
I'm sorry, but I don't think that the story is very good.
Here are my notes (keep in mind I'm being harsh so you can become a better writer, not because I'm mean).
First off, character introductions (especially in the way that you did it in, where you just list everyone, even if they don't show up anywhere in the story) don't need to be called a chapter, those can be an introduction. Also, some of the descriptions were just plain silly (I don't see how the doctor, who isn't mentioned in the story, needs to be noted as how he can perform surgery while stoned).
Second of all, the grammar was less than perfect. Random words had caps, and there were more than one botched sentence with odd punctuation.
The behavior of the characters seemed to be really strange. What kind of captain would be happy with two injured engineering officers? The commander doesn't punish the officer because he's his drinking buddy? The UE must have gone to hell in a handbasket.
Also, there were too many really silly things for this story to be taken seriously. Other than the drinking buddies problem noted above, the part where she slaps her console to get it to work is just a bit silly, as is the continued camel comment about the renegade captain. It could have been left at the first comment, then simply referred to as the renegade captain, without the "(for a camel)" bit.
Also, multiple exclamation points don't do much for the story, or for 5 of the 9 character descriptions.
However, I did like the breakdown of all the ships in the fleet, listing what they were carrying and what was an offense and all. A lot of blasters, though... and what are UE blasters? I thought they used blaze cannons/turrets.
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Like the way the story is going. Keep doing it. I'm waiting for th next chapters.
Wuts with all the references with camels your already told us once why repeat it again and again and again?