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The Hunt For the Dreadnought
Chapter one: A Warning From History
The blackness of space suronded then small scoutship as it drifted across the void engines glowing blue. The small craft turned towards the small moon in the distance, its purple clouds and dark blue seas stood out against the void.
Two pilots sat in the small cockpit cheaking systems and working the computers. The co-pilot looked down at the scanner, the tactical imformation scrolling down past the plans of ships. All seems normal. We should get out of here before they spot us. the co-pilot said looking across at the pilot. Set course for the Bakka system. the pilot replied turning the ship around The computer is working out the co-ordinates now. the co-pilot looked down at the red dots circeling the red planet on the scanner as suddenly the sirens wailed. Look out! Incoming hyper signal. Somethings coming out of hyperspace. the co-pilot looked up at the viewscreen as space rippled as light powerd out the hypergate.
Space rippled as a hypergate opened blue light powering out as it increased in size swelling untill the scoutship was a dot next to it. The front of a ship appeared its grey hull moving foward into space, as hundreds of lights dotted its surface it up. The huge ship continued to move out of the hypergate more and more of its hull was visable.
The co-pilot tapped on the computer as he looked across the designs of the ship. The computer estimates it over 300 metres in length. Its heavilly shielded with over three foot thick Bonov plating armour. Six nuetron turrets... Its targeting us! Get us out of here. Send a message to UE Central command. Report seeing a large Voinian warship at the Vorik system. the pilot shouted as he steered the scoutship towards the jump gate. The co-pilot worked the communications shouting in the message. Message sent sir. he shouted Brace for impact! Incoming projectiles!
The scoutship rocked as three rockets smashed against its shields. The scoutship spun out of control as the Voinian warships turrets fired, purple energy smashed through the scoutships hull as it exploded into orange flames.
The UE command building stood towering above the rest of Earths cities its miles high wall each with thousands of windows displayed the technical achievment of man. Hover cars darted in and out of the spires of UE central command as ships passed by overhead some landing upon the ring of landing pads circling the middle of the building. The buildings defencive lasers circled on the huge perimetre walls watching the approuching craft. The central command chamber was huge, with hundreds of technitions working the lines of computers facing the one large screen which coverd the whole of the north wall. Workers walked back and foward cheaking systems and replacing old consoles. In the center floated a large platform on which sat the admirlty, the governing body of the entire UE fleet. They sat in a circle around a small holo-projecter in the centre of a circuler table discussing the movement of all registerd UE vessels. We need more ships in the eastern sectors of the UE. The trading has reached an all time low as more vessels are bieng attacked by Renegades. We cant take ships away from the northern sector as they are way over stretched fighting off the new hostile aliens attacking the Miranus and escorting vital supplies from the Proxim colinies. The western fleet is fighting off the recent rebellion in the southern systems and taking heavy casualties... Look, we can take the two new Cruisers from Luna and send them to the Huron system to increase military forces, we can also send troop transports with them and increase military garrisons. The homefleet commander stated looking around as the other four commanders fell silent. The Home fleet hasnt seen action in years and this will be a fine oppitunity to test the new crews of the latest cruisers. You cant send fresh crews out into the eastern sector, theyll get destroyed in minuets. I want experianced crews. the Eastern fleet commander stood shouting at the others. They can only gain experiance by fighting, and theyre in United Earth cruisers no Renegade ship unless in surficiant numbers can ever have a chance of destroying a... the home fleet commander paused as the holo projecter hummed and an image appeared. Sir, the image said We have just receved a signal from the Scoutship Orion. They say they sighted a large Voinian capital ship in the Vorik system. The Supreme commander, silent untill now spoke up Display the message throw here, son. the image nodded and faded, as writing scrolled up onto the projector and split into five parts so each commander could read one. The council sat reading the imformation as images appeared on the projector of scans of the large ship. The Supreme commander looked up from the writing and looked up at the images his mouth dropped open, a look of horror across his face. Sir! Are you all right? the Eastern commander said looing across at him. Its the Dreadnought! The what? The Dreadnought. It was arround fifty years ago when I first enterd the United Earth navy that I heard about the Dreadnaught. It was built to lead a fleet to destroy Earth but we found it early and struck. We sent a fleet to intercept it at the Vorik system and I was on one of the destroyers which went. We were acompanied by a civilien pilot who had been given access to UE ships and we attacked and destroyed it. We lossed five ships against it, two carriers and three destroyers including the one I was on. I was picked up by the civilian ship and we limped home with two other destroyers and a couple of fighters. That ship had the power to destroy five capital ships and badly damage three others before bieng stopped. This one I see here is over one hundred metres longer, more heavilly armed, and more protection, if this is real then we are in serious trouble. What can we do? Prey! Commander. And send every ship available to stop it! We will stop this ship. We will destroy the Dreadnought!
Just one mistake, Burning cow: The UE High Command is not in a giant building on Earth, it's on Luna.
God bless,
UE Patriot
------------------ "Turn me over, I'm done on this side."- St. Lawerence at his martyrdom "The glory of God is man fully alive"- St. Iraeneus Voinian lovers are ignorant of the UE marines taking over Borb Station. (url="http://"http://www.ambrosiasw.com/cgi-bin/vftp/show.pl?product=evo&category;=plugins&display;=date&file;=ReignOfTheUE.Bin")Reign of the UE(/url): Get it today!
oh any way i'll just have luna destroyed or something in the next part. Its surposed to be about 50-100 years in the future
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Interesting idea, however it's rather cliche, the dialogue doesn't sound realistic (no one talks like that) and you need to check your spelling and proofread. "Prey" for instance is what is eaten by animal, not a way to communicate with God. These little things detract signifigantly from the writing, as any sufficiently educated person will have difficulty taking the story seriously when it's full of such errors. Maybe in the next installment you could proofread it (heck, I'd proofread it for you, jvw3@cornell.edu). I write sci-fi for a LEGO Universe website, and we've found that people become annoyed by the smallest of mistakes, and have trouble taking the story seriously. With a little bit of effort the story could have been a lot better. Also try not to make the people in the military sound so stupid, they must have like an IQ of 80 to talk like that. You don't get high ranking in the military of the future by being a moron.
Just my two cents.
This story was actually a sort of test as the ambrosia Submitting site didn't want to let me cut and paste other stories onto it ( I later found out that they were to long :frown: ) So I wrote this to see if it was the length.(That it was) So thats why its got poor spelling, punctuation and crappy idiots in control of the UE fleet.
---Burning cow---