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(Posted on 02-10-2001)
Freelancer: Chapter 1 DSN-5842 Near Iothe
There was a brief flash of light outside of the viewscreen as the transport Nemo exited hyperspace, starlines giving way to tiny pin pricks of light.
Immediately Captain Delano was giving orders.
All right, you know the drill, Engineering: charge the hyperdrive coils. Navigation: load the course for Iothe.
Captain, pirates incoming, the sensor officer shouted, rapidly flicking through sensor channels to ID the pirates, four Kraits--
Man the turrets, Delano interrupted.
And three Helians.
Damn! Engineering: Full power to the engines.
The Nemo began to ponderously turn away from the pirates, but not fast enough to escape the Kraits bearing down on it.
How long till hyperjump? Delano asked.
Still twenty minutes, sir.
Damn! Communications: begin broadcasting a distress signal.
The Dagger, an Arada class warship came out of hyperspace a few minutes later.
Inside was Captain Dave Willis, who gave out a similar order to his crew. However, he was stopped by his Communications officer, Pablo Martinez.
Sir weve got an incoming distress signal, the transporter Nemo, under attack by pirates.
Clark, check the ID of the ships against those in the Dark Ones fleet, Willis said to the Sensor officer.
The Helians: Satan, Diablo and Lucifer are all a part of that fleet at the moment.
Right, Mr. Stephenson, Willis indicating the helmsman, direct us towards the Nemo, full speed, flipping on the intercom he added, Dail, Hoff, get to the turrets.
The Dagger picked up speed, aiming towards the Nemo, already under attack by the Kraits.
Even as the Arada closed on the fight, the transporter was subjected to a vicious flurry of shots, silencing the port turrets. However, it struck back, eliminating one of the Kraits, spiralling away, spewing fire.
As soon as the Dagger came in range, the two ships quickly made short work of the remaining Kraits and formed into a defensive line along side the Nemo, while the Helians took up position just out of missile range.
Sir, the Helians are firing missiles! Clark reported.
All hands brace for impact.
They're not at us, they're at the Nemo, the XO, Roberts, said. Their shields will never take it.
Right, match their shields and push ours around them, Willis ordered.
But that will leave us weaker, Roberts protested.
I know, but we have no choice.
The needle missiles exploded harmlessly around the enhanced shields. A message came in from the Nemo, replacing the stars with the face of Captain Delano.
What can I say but thanks. We surely would have been destroyed if you hadnt have helped. Hyperspacing now.
As the communication signed off, the Nemo jumped out, leaving the Dagger alone with the three Helians.
Hoff, ready the tracking device, were going in...fire hunter killer missiles at the Diablo and Lucifer.
The Dagger sped towards the ships, missiles firing at the last moment, destroying the Lucifer, escape pods flying in all directions. The Arada swept over the Satan, firing all turrets, but also the Long Rang Tracking Device.
Stephenson, prepare the ship for another pass, Willis ordered.
Suddenly Clark called out, Sir, SAD modules from the Helians-
Evade!
The ship pulled upwards but the SAD modules hit, jolting the ship. The console nearest Willis exploded in a spray of sparks.
Engineering here, Mac reported, Hyperspace down, an hour at least. Shields down low.
Thanks Mac. Navigation, head for deep space.
The Dagger dove for deep space but was being caught up by the Helians. Sensor Officer Clark reported it to the captain.
Ive worked on Helians before, Roberts offered, and theres no way that you could fit all that weaponry and upgrade the engines that much.
Afterburners? Acceleration pods? Willis countered looking around the bridge.
Sir, how about putting an Arada engines in the Helians, Tactical Officer Matthews suggested.
Willis looked at Roberts, a sick expression on his face, if thats the case, we are gonna have a hard task taking down the Dark One and her fleet.
The conversation was ended by Clark, Sir, the pirates are firing SADs, four, no six, no TEN of them!
Do we have any chance to evade?
Even I wouldnt place a bet on that, Matthews replied, notorious for it.
Right, prepare the escape pods, rendezvous point, Iothe.
(This message has been edited by moderator (edited 02-10-2001).)
(This message has been edited by Jude (edited 02-13-2001).)
Can you please tell me what you think and if my style of writing is crap, because then I'll know whether to post any more. Suggestions on how to improve?
This is the only chapter of this i will be submitting, unless I get overwhelming support. My new story will be on a storyline of a Plug-in that I would make but A) I haven't got a clue on how to start, and B)I don't have the time.
PS it is supposed to be XO (Executive Office) instead of OX.
Thanks
------------------ OOh, arrr! It's Ambrosia(aar)!!!
I thought this was a interesting start to the story: I liked the pace and the battle description. I really liked something that was very small: the notion that one doesn't just go skipping easily from system to system via the hyperjump, that it takes time to get ready for the jump, as long as twenty minutes. That was pretty cool.
I'd like to see the story continue, but I'd say frankly that you should want to continue the story for its own sake. Write it because you want to. After all, other people's opinions are often wrong.
------------------ PlanetPhil not drowning, waving
You should decide on your own, but I think you really should continue your story. You had good descriptions and a great battle scene. There's so much stuff you could do with that storyline.
Whatever, I liked it.
--------------------- Damn the Man!
Cool story!
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Wow, people actually liked the battle scene, I was reading it when it got posted and started thinking how lame it was, but most people critize their own works. Freelancer will continue
Nice story, I like it. The battle scene was nice, and the elements of the larger plotline you put into this could go in many different directions. I would very much like to read more of it.
------------------ (url="http://"http://www.geocities.com/skyblade500/omega_conspiracy/index.html")The Omega Conspiracy(/url) - An (url="http://"http://www.AmbrosiaSW.com/games/evo")EV Override(/url) Novella (url="http://"http://www.angelfire.com/ma3/skyblade/shadowblade")Shadowblade(/url) - A (url="http://"http://www.beenox.com/coldstone.html")Coldstone(/url) Roleplaying Game ------------------
Quote
Originally posted by Arazon: **
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Whoops. Sorry I missed that. Fixed. Jude editor, EV/O Chronicles
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Very good, i do hope you continue it.
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Not bad at all, Arazon. I like......
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