A mature (no slanging) talk with anklebiter to try to stop the stupidities

Konnichi-wa, anklebiter-san! ^_^

Well, life goes on, ne? I'm really quite amazed that all that happened yesterday just on account of little me. I'm sorry the thread got hijacked off as a result, especially before you'd had time to answer my questions! ^^; Fortunately, this time I've used a bit more sense and started up a thread of my own. That way we can chat without anyone else feeling the need to say anything or interfere. ^^ (So please, nobody else do!) ^_^;

Anyways - I shall start with your reply such that it was, because I feel that after I spent a lot of time yesterday putting my thoughts down for you, your initial reply was somewhat sarcastic. I'm sorry if you believed my thoughts were only worth that, but I will try and do a little better this time. Besides, I'm sure you didn't mean to be rude, and were just a little pushed for time. Don't worry, I'm not even going to read this again for at least 18 hours or so, so you have plenty of time to give a considered response ^_^

( And if you still want that game sometime, let me know! I may not be as good as lumisa, Hyko or Shoes, but I hope to provide some challenge to you! ^_^;; It should be an easy Ł10 for you! )

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Originally posted by Ryoko:
At the moment sadly though, I have no wish to be further part in this on-going, extremely tedious and circular debate/argument.

And in response (gomen, but the quotes don't nest on this board):

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Originally posted by anklebiter:
Wow, someone finally realizes why I am not even participating in this thread, except for entertainment purposes.

Well, you do have a point, and it is funny to see all this happening; but from reading down the topic myself, it did look to me (and I don't mind admitting I'm not exactly the queen of observance) a bit like you were the first one to bring it up: namely in your previous post:

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Originally posted by anklebiter:
No, really. It doesn't matter, because it is obvious people have nothing better to do then to bring up something over and over and over again. Hell, I wish I could master overkill like this.

Crono wasn't doing anything more than state thoughts about how to deal with a massive influx of players. I don't particularly think either sets of 'rules' - yours or his - do. After all, if we're having trouble getting a few people whom we all know at least vaguely co-operating, what is it going to be like when we suddenly have hundreds more we don't? Let's hope that there will be so many people wanting to play that there will be lots of work for everybody hosting. My own thoughts are that (if the numbers do increase dramatically) anarchy will probably reign for the most part. Chaos always defeats order, mainly because it is far more organised. ^_~

::looks at the next bit::
You know, I quite enjoy this, it's a shame these quotes don't nest. ^_^

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Originally posted by Ryoko:
Crono happens to be my friend in RL

To which you said:

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Originally posted by anklebiter:
Fancy that, now I see why the below is suggested:

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Originally posted by Ryoko:
Why don't you take part in the one next Sunday - enjoy the break from having to host

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Originally posted by anklebiter:
...and...

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Originally posted by Ryoko:
And, Anklebiter - why don't you start the ball rolling by just saying sorry

Is the link really that obvious? ^^; Gomen-ne for my being so stupid! ^^;;
Please enlighten me though - why has Crono being my friend got anything to do with me saying you should play on Sunday (other than the fact that he is hosting, of course)? I thought you might enjoy the opportunity to be a contestant for once again. I'm sure you'd do very well ^_^ I also thought you might like to take part in the team game if they do it, and also just to compare different styles. Comparison and evolution is good - after all, that is how we all evolved, ne? To have everything the same leads to weakness - it's slow death.

It's good to see you are hosting yourself too. I'll re-iterate my thanks for you putting in all the time and effort into doing this, and I mean that sincerely. I'd love to play in your tournament on Thursday, but unfortunately firstly I am not playing again, as I said, and secondly, Thursday is our social night out, so I will not be around to enjoy it. If you could move it back a half hour, I'm sure Crono would love to join in before he goes out.

In fact, the problem just seems to be getting worse. 5 people played in your last tournament. Of those five, who were either neutral (or in the case of at least lumisa and Crono, actually still actively supporting what you were doing you) you ignored and or punished them. The result is you've now made more people turn against you -_-

I think it's important to stress that nobody (with the possible exception of the boycotters) wants you to stop hosting tournaments, and that everybody is very grateful to you for doing so. We are all on your side! There are no 'sides' anyway (or weren't). Except that you are forcing more and more people away from you by treating them badly.

Fortunately, we're not all avid grudge bearers, and once again, I think perhaps just changing the attitude a bit would help. How about putting people's karma back up to what they were? I think you'd find that the affected parties would be much happier with this token conciliatory gesture. ^_^ Again, like before (and i wasn't saying you should say it to Crono, just to the boycotters in the hopes of bringing them back round) it isn't going to hurt (especially if you have let this go and therefore it is all "in the past" as you say). Should be very easy. A few clicks and we can all laugh at what was just a silly misunderstanding, ne?

Have you ever had a go at teaching children, ankle-san? A good web-board mod has much the same job on his or her hands. Somehow, you've got to maintain order over a group of little terrors whose idea of fun often revolves around doing anything they can to annoy you. ^^;; Patience is a virtue that is fundamental to dealing with them. When you get right down to it - being grown up is just being a big kid really. In some ways we never change - despite out outward appearances. We just get more devious ^~

Have you ever had to look after elderly people in their 90's? This is also similar in some ways. Fortunately most are less mobile - but the desire to try new things and make oneself heard is never lost to us - not until the day we finally stop. We all like to have attention, but sometimes we don't go about getting it in the right way. Patience again, that and the ability to forgive them when they slobber their food all over you o_O;; now... am I talking about the oldies or the kids there? ^_~

You've got to look after them, despite everything though, and being able to let bygones be bygones is very useful. The way to do it though is not to just ignore a reoccurring problem, but to do something about it. If you lose your cool, you're done for: respect drops to zero and you might as well give up and go home. Did you (or anyone in your class) never give your teachers a hard time at school? Do you remember why?

If a topic keeps coming up, it is obviously in need of closure. If it concerns you, best bet is to take part respectfully (i.e. without shouting or whinging or feeling sorry for oneself), and try your hardest to see things from the other person's perspective. Maybe the other person is just wrong. Maybe they are not - either way, the skill is to find the common ground...

Why are they saying what they are saying?
What have I done to trigger that?
How can I rectify it?

Where we as adults differ from kids is that the answer to that first question will (or should) never be "in order to piss you off". Therefore, the answer to the second question is unlikely to be "nothing" and the answer to the last is almost certainly "something". The further question is "what"

I do not believe that Crono hosted a tournament to try and conflict with yours, nor to raise any ghouls from the past topics. I think that he wanted to try Hyko's pages - and he wanted to do so without getting in your way. The point with the web pages is how well they scale for lots of people, and I would say better than e-mail. Of course, I don't know as I haven't used them. That's why he wants to try them to find out. As a one-off I don't see what's wrong with that.

Hyko (for his part) did not make those pages to try and belittle your own work. He did it as an experiment for himself and to help learn PHP but instead of producing "hello world", he produced something that was of use to him. He didn't know you were making the same thing, did he? Nobody said they were. Crono says most programmers are only to happy to use off the shelf components... Saves on time, effort and testing.

This web-board is dying, ankle-san. We all share joint responsibility for it, so it is all our respective faults. Yours. Ours. Mine. This doesn't alter the fact that the reason it is dying is a growing discontent that is beginning to turn in to bitterness. Our fallible human hearts can only take so much of being bitter, and then there's just no going back - because the trust finally breaks - how many couples who split up badly end up staying friends? Precious few, ne?

Let's stop the rot before that happens here? Onegai?

Regards,
Ryoko
xx

(This message has been edited by Ryoko (edited 03-31-2003).)

Ryoko, I don't have time to reply to these long post. In the end, this is what it all boils down too:

The management listens to all suggestions and will consider them. Magagement will act on all good suggestions. Management will NOT act on suggestions that people keep brining up again and again. Management will NOT do things to just to make a couple vocal people be quiet. That does nothing but encourage wrong behavior.

The management will NOT tolerate hijack attempts. Management is consistently hosting the promised tournaments. Trying to kill an existing thing because it isn't perfect. If someone wants to do that, go elsewhere and do it. There are too many people waiting for this to die down and have fun.

Don't think this is going to be argued again and again. Several people have already proved to me this will not work.

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I am the fox, let my talk will thrill you, when you get to know me, my smile will chill you. With a name like anklebiter, just what did you expect? (url="http://"http://www.foxchange.com/~matt/anklecam/")The ankle cam!(/url) Out of 33 moderators, I ranked the lowest in overall ranking, temperament and trust!

If people don't want to let this go, then take it elsewhere. There are only 2 ways to restoring the good old tournaments. Choose which ever one you wish. 1.) Let it go, and just play. It isn't perfect, but it is happenng. 2.) Take your crap, and leave. If you are going to keep questing every decision, whine and cry, and make life miserable for everyone, then just leave.

I am not denying you from having fun, but I am tell you that management will make a decision, and that management will stand by their decision.

Currently there are 8049 members, and about 33 moderators. We are moderators for a reason, and sometimes that involves not being popular. It sucks but is part of the job. I hate karma slapping people, but I will not fail to do my job.

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I am the fox, let my talk will thrill you, when you get to know me, my smile will chill you. With a name like anklebiter, just what did you expect? (url="http://"http://www.foxchange.com/~matt/anklecam/")The ankle cam!(/url) Out of 33 moderators, I ranked the lowest in overall ranking, temperament and trust!

Arigato ^_^
Since you asked me not to pursue this further, I'll leave it there for this board.

::shrugs::

Minna, I wanted to give anklebiter a chance to have some time to compose a reply that befits a board moderator, without being pressurised by other people. He has had that chance now - and since as I just stated above - he doesn't want me to push this, I'll leave this thread to other people to post what they wish. I'll reply to any questions/comments/criticsisms directed at me though. ^_^ I thought I saw one earlier today, but when I came to look again it had gone - probably just lost by the topic names April fool, ne?