The Modern Ares Commodore

Now, you may have read the full song in (url="http://"http://www.AmbrosiaSW.com/webboard/Forum11/HTML/000193.html")Something Funny to Think About(/url), and I'd like to see how productive we can be at making an Ares version. So, to start us off:

I am the very model of the modern Ares Commodore
I've information interstellar, short wave band and semaphore,
I know the ways of Obain, and can quote the fights historical
From Myrmidon to Pictoris in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted too with matters philosophical,
I've had a little shuffle with a Gaitori agnostical,
From friends I have on Salril I have heard that there's a lot of fuss,
And many cheerful facts about the almost certain death of us.

And many cheerful facts about the almost certain death of us,
And many cheerful facts about the almost certain death of us,
And many cheerful facts about the almost certain death of us!

(Continue as stated, do not insert closer verses, they won't count)

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What others can travel so far into so many universes yet remain so deeply rooted in their own?
(url="http://"http://marathon.invasion.tripod.com")M:Inv(/url) and the (url="http://"http://pub61.ezboard.com/bmarathoninvasion")M:Inv Webboards(/url)

I can fight unto Thasero, shedding lots of gadgetry
Write the names of many planets whilst reciting poetry,
Capture every station, post and base in fact or fiction,
While confounding the careful plotting of oracular prediction!

In short in matters interstellar, short wave band and semaphore,
He is the very model of a modern Ares Commodore!

I am the very model of a modern Ares Commodore,
I’ve information interestellar, short wave band and semaphore,
I have seen prophetic pamphlets, advertising market needs,
Destroyed a Gaitori convoy without receiving parking fees,
Survived a skirmish with an Ishiman, in the midde of the sea,
Flown past and past the merry stars that covet planet’s Audemee
I’ve mined alot of asteroids in the Palyos belt to wit,

And seen enough of viruses to make alot of men unfit!
And seen enough of viruses to make alot of men unfit!
And seen enough of viruses to make alot of men unfit!