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Lord Gwydion walks into the newly built South Tip Station Bar, and posts the rules:
1.No total annihilation 2.No insulting (THE most ill-inforced rule; even the bartender breaks it ) 3.No ignoring these rules 4.No killing the 'tend 5.All of the above rules are no longer in affect. PERMENATELY.(Seriously.) 6.(not restricted by rule 5) only the bartender can appoint assistant bartenders 7. No lying about government or bounty (again, not restricted by rule 5) 8. You may NOT blow up my bar!!! 9. No stealin' drinks from me! Or stealing anything from me, for that matter!
He then starts polishing glasses.
------------------ YakKa Foob MoG. GRuG PubbuWuP ZiNk WattooM GaZoRK. CHuMBLE SpuZz. (url="http://"http://pub101.ezboard.com/bstarbasedelta")Starbase Delta(/url)
(This message has been edited by Lord Gwydion (edited 05-21-2001).)
Sato walks in and has a Adzgari Atch'ta, the strongest Adzgari drink in existence.
------------------ 42
Lord Gwydion serves him his drink, then continues to polish glasses. Someone with shart eyes could see that he is smearing nitrogen tri-iodide (a chemical that explodes upon being dry and touched, and leaves purple smoke) on some of the glasses.
Sato steps away from his drink, takes out his Photon Vaporizer, and blows up the glass.
Purple smoke is not left behind.
Lord Gwydion explains that this is to amuse Renegades, and thus get more buisness. He only serves drinks in 'special' glasses to Renegades.
PS-Nitrogen tri-iodide explodes on a medium touch, not just a tiny tap. More like a quick rap on it will detonate it. This way, Renegades will bang their glasses on the tables, and then tell their friends how cool it is here.
Sato thanks Lord Gwydion for the explanation, apologizes for the glass, and goes to his modified Arada for a trip around the station.
Lord Gwydion suddenly gets a shipment of thousands of new glasses, and then gets an Azdgari Atch'ta ready for when Sattomax comes back.
Phoenix orders a Blue Snif'nel.
------------------ "You are gentle and kind.....but that isn't enough. You must be strong too, for evil will overpower you if you are not strong. You must be like steel, strong and invulnerable, yet bending under certain circumstances." -Phoenix "That is called a droid decoy. This is called a trap. And I'm calling you dead." -Phoenix
Lord Gwydion serves him a Blue Snif'nel in an ordinary glass.
Sato returns and brings a renegade with him to the bar. He takes his Atch'ta and motions to the bartender, pointing to the renegade. He goes to a corner of the bar, and passes out.
Lord Gwydion serves the Renegade a Voinian Atomic Neutron Star Undiluted Brandy in a special glass.
The Renegade sits down, takes a gulp of the Brandy, crosses his eyes, and lets the glass fall onto the table. His fun now is nowhere near it's peakÉ
Esponer, a Zachit officer, walks into the bar. He orders a drink of water, then stabs Sato with a long knife repeatedly.
"45......... 46......." he counts.
------------------ "That's all very nice, but where's the guns?" - SilverDragon
ESPilot walks in and claims he's a renegade with a bounty of 100 million credits on his head in Strand and UE space. He then orders a Zidagar Flameout and is careful not to slam his mug on the table.
------------------ Why settle for a $3 pound of pork meat, when you can get up to 50+ pounds of human meat free? Visit (url="http://"http://pub101.ezboard.com/bstarbasedelta")Starbase Delta(/url) today! Or come to (url="http://"http://pub69.ezboard.com/bnewsatori")New Satori(/url), my new ezboard!
Sato wakes up, regenerates, takes out his photon gun, and blasts SilverDragon into oblivion. He walks up to the bartender and orders another Atch'ta.
Esponer calmly points out that SilverDragon isn't around, and that Esponer and SilverDragon are completely different people.
He then proceeds to stab Sato.
"99........ 100!"
With the hundredth stab, Esponer sticks a bomb down Sato's throat and watches him explode in a huge blast of napalm.
Esponer turns back to the bar.
"My water?"
Lord Gwydion gives Esponer a glass of water, wondering why he is posting with the name 'SilverDragon' if he wants to be called Esponer.
He then gives ESPilot his Zidagar Flameout, but secretly coats the entire mug with nitrogen tri-iodide. He then pulls out a list of Wanted Very Much Renegades, and sees no people with the picture of ESPilot, or with his callsign.
He puts a sign up which reads: 'Free Saalian Brandy, Strand Special, AND Voinian Atomic Neutron Star Undiluted Brandy for anyone who shoots ESPilot's head off!'
He puts three ordinary glasses filled with the prizes up on a shelf behind a super-force field, so that NO ONE can reach them but Lord Gwydion and the yet-to-be-appointed-assistant-bartender-who-must-sign-an-agreement-saying-that-he/she-will-not-drink-the-prizes-unless-he/she-shoots-ESPilot's-head-off.
PS-The blowing your head off thing, ESPilot, is just for lying in my bar. I'll put a rule in that says: no lying about your government or bounty.
Argh. Stupid messed up margins!
idiotSavant walks in. "Give me the strongest drink you have"idiotSavant goes and blows off ESPilot head
------------------ Your problem,idiotSavant, is that you go through life thinking everyone likes potatoes. Well,they don't. They like asparagus. -friend
(This message has been edited by idiotSavant (edited 05-21-2001).)
Lord Gwydion hands idiotSavant the three prize drinks, plus another Voinian Atomic Neutron Star Undiluted Brandy (the strongest drink in existence).
Esponer sticks an inanimate carbon rod up IdiotSavant's buttocks, and then gets out a laser and burns him up very slowly, and painfully.
Afterwards, Esponer takes the ashes, mixes them with his drink and takes a sip.
"Delicious," he exclaims, and drains the whole glass.