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yeah, this bar does kinda bite right now, and i plan ta bring it back, what we need is some more violence, and make it graphic (oedipus walks into the bar) "i love owning stuff" (pulls out phase cannon in one arm, and sawed off flechette rifle in other) "now JACK-@$$, you said the bar sucked, well heres your grade-a chance ta bring it back" (lifts jack up by neck) (points f. rifle at jacks stomach) "told ya youll spice it up hehe" (3 shots are heard from the rifle) (Jacks legs fall seperate from his body) (Oedipus points phase cannon at jacks head) "i know ya cant hear me, but i sincerely love doing this" (pulls trigger, shrapnel from jacks skull hits another person in the neck, gurgling is heard) more "red paint", a couple of hundred small holes, and one gigantic one
well, its getting better, one post at a time
------------------ "what is life but a prelude to death?"-me
All right, Oedipus! You killed Jack! Mabey he'll stay dead for more than 2 posts.
This is the first.
------------------ You don't blow it up, you just, how shall I put it, "Let the smoke out"-Jack
I want a doughnut. A doughnut as doughnutty as a doughnut made of flour, water, one large egg, sugar, a pinch of yeast, cinnamon to taste, and jam or jelly filling, depending on preference. Its not a doughnut as something in any way metaphorical. Just a doughnut.
And this is the second.
{Another Jack, (relative maybe?) walks into the bar and picks up a piece of Jack's rotting flesh} {Jack-plus, mark 4 steps into the bar with a Neutron Turret on his forehead} Beat that Oedipus {Jack blows the $hit out of everyone in the bar, but is careful not to hit any of the brandy} {The walls are now brown, and smell} {Oedipus groans, "I'd rather be dead"} {Jack walks over, with a nuclear warhead strapped to his head} { BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!! } {Pieces of roasted flesh are found in a 4 mile radius, around what was the Freeport bar. Strangely enough, none of the brandy was harmed}
The Voienien cruser "Borb Rocks" Hyperjumps into the system. The captin (the one who killed luner2 for a post) Has desided to take over the renigade systems now. The captin orders the helms-voienien to find a place to dock at the station so they can unload their marenies to take over the station. The helms-voienien obeys, sees the hole in the station where the bar used to be and docked squshing jack (so now jack is jack-p (p for pancake)) And unloaded their marines, who have orders to vaporise any human (or human+ or human-) they see. So now jack-p is in itty bitty little parts of atoms.
The Voienien cruser "Borb Rocks" Hyperjumps into the system. The captin (the one who killed luner2 for a post) Has desided to take over the renigade systems now. The captin orders the helms-voienien to find a place to dock at the station so they can unload their marenies to take over the station. The helms-voienien obeys, sees the hole in the station where the bar used to be and docked squshing jack (so now jack is jack-p (p for pancake)) And unloaded their marines, who have orders to vaporise any human (or human+ or human-) they see. So now jack-p is now itty bitty little parts of atoms. and again the brandy isn't harmed. the marenies grab all the brandy and load it on their ship. sunddenly a man runs through the door and shouts, "I am wheedle fred and since I don't have needle in front of my name amd my name isn't ed I wasn't killed! So now I'm going to steal all the br..." He stops in mid sentace seeing the voieniens and screams and try so run out the door. but the voieniens see him and shoot him splatering "red paint" all over the bar(which had been scoured white by the explosin).
Hey Jack, you said none of the brandy was harmed, right? Phew! I'm so relieved. (Breck goes to where bar was and picks up brandy) (drinks it all in one gulp) "ThAt wAs GoOd. AnYonE gOt mooreeee..." (keels over in drunken stupor)
------------------
uhhh, jack, do you remember what happened on the second page? well, anyway, ill say it again, Jack, you FOOL! nothing and i say NOTHING can stand up to the 2 million degrees fahrenheit from a thermonuclear detonation, so you and everything within a 90 mile radius is dead.
geez, i think i repeated it word for word, what an accomplishment
LoneVoinoin and Oedipus, you guys are idiots. I didn't say I was still alive did I?
{Dim, Distant relative of Jack lands on planet and picks up a piece of roasting flesh, stopping only to get a shot of brandy} {A few hours later another Jack is born}
More later...
oh, didnt notice that. :redface: but anyhoos... (one of the voinian captains from Oedipus' cruiser escorts walks into bar) "dam! i hate it when this happens" (brings a chunk of charred oedipus flesh back to the cruiser) (two hours later Oedipus walks into the bar) "ohhhh Jaaaaack-@$$, heeeerrrreees DADDY" (pulls flechette rifle from trench coat)
{this part of the story deleted due to censorship laws}
(Oedipus looks at top line) "oh cr@p, i hate it when they do that, dam government, oh well i guess the visuals in the bar will explain" the newly built bar has about 4000 little holes in it, bunches of "red paint" and about four empty flechette rifle clips lying on the ground
(QUOTE)Originally posted by Oedipus: (B) Oedipus' cruiser escorts
Excuse me but the crusier that parked in the bar was owned by the voinians, not by you. Plus it never pulled out of it's "parking spot" in the bar, so its now part of the bar wall. Unless it pulled out in part of the censord part. AND the brandy is on the V.E.S. "Borb Rocks".
------------------ U.E. lovers Are Ignorint Of true Power.
Oh, And the last point was to brek. So he couldn't have drunk brandy unless he took control of the crusier
uh, actually, that cruiser was owned by me, and im allied with the Voinians, so they all like me. i bought that cruiser, then captured another ship and took its place, so they still are loyal to me, and the ship did leave in the censored part.
O.K., Sorry Oedipus. But that means that it's even harder for braek to have some brandy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call a heavy fighter that got hit with too many needle missles?
Shis-ka-borb
no, its not that hard for Brek, i have no problems with him
I just have to be annoying right now.
{"Damn Oedipus, all those Flachette Clips, and you still managed to miss me?"} {Jack leaves bar to pursue greener pastures} {"Those Greener pastures sure are fast. Its almost to much of a bother to pursue them"}
Goodbye Y'all
Greener Pastures Beyond
Darn. Jacks leaving. :frown: :frown: :frown: Now who'll we use for target practice? Anyhoo, More story:
The crusier "Borb Rocks" is circleing the bar, looking for fresh meat. Seeing Jacks U.E. crusier pull out of the station they launch all their fighters and all their rockets to destroy the crusier. They hit it before it's shields go up disabling it's shield emmiters and bringing it's armor down to 1%. Fires are blazing all over the ship, even on the ship's hull. Jack relizes that he lost this battle without firing a shot. He runs to the transporter room and beams himself of the ship just as another volly of rockets hit. He suddenly reappers in the middle of the bar. Unfourtunetly he beamed in right where another customer was standing, splitting the customer in two. Oedipus screams "HE HADEN'T PAID YET!", Pulls out his flechette rifle, puts in an explosive flechtte clip and shoots jack.(Again)
------------------ U.E. Lovers Are Ignorint Of True Power.
(This message has been edited by Lonevoinian (edited 07-28-2000).)
(Breck wakes up from his drunken stupor) (looks around) (realizes he is on Oedipus's V. Cruiser) (thanks Oedipus for letting him on the ship) (tosses over a large sum of money) (Heads off to Saalia to raid the bars there)
"Borb Rocks" Is the name of MY ship, not oedipius'!!!