o.k. i saw this on the ares webboard. this isn't for posting stories. just come in, order a drink, or talk with the others in the bar. hope you all like this thread.
-Ultimate Rebel, May 3 2001
Luke looked at the plaque. It was very nice. It was silver with the words engraved by a diamond blade. He had bought it and had it engraved today, the first anniversary of the opening of the original bar. As he looked at it, he almost cried.
Of course, that was because of the large pile of onions next to him.
He put the onions on the cart and pushed it into the storage room. The storage room was nearly a square mile. It had everything a bar could need, from cherries to Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters, from spare light conductors to salt shakers. Luke dumped the onions in a corner and went into the main room.
The main room was the largest of the 103 rooms. Besides the storage room, there were 100 hotel rooms upstairs and two huge, top-quality, state-of-the-art bathrooms. The main room was almost seven square miles. It had a closed-off acid pit in the corner for executions, a huge library in one corner, a duck-racing track, an Olympic-sized swimming pool with several slides and diving boards, hundreds of tables, a huge electronic message board, dozens of huge Holo-Vid TV projectors, a few huge flat-screen TVs, and an incredibly long bar with hundreds of stools. Thousands of brand-new iMacs were on various tables. About fifty robotic bar-keepers were behind the bar waiting for customers. More janitorial robots took care of the rest of the bar, and a bunch of security droids roamed around, waiting for the bar to open and the inevitable fights to begin. There was even a wormhole which could connect to two alternate universes, one in the EV:O galaxy and one in the EV:N galaxy. There were also various other very nice things. On the electronic message board Luke posted:
Click here for information on previous Boozerama Bars.
The bar was, of course, on Evildrome. However, it was not owned by the pirates. After some discussions, Luke was granted permission to make the bar and the surrounding grounds an independent nation, officially titled the Nation of Boozerama. It had a very nice landing strip and parking lot (with another wormhole capable of admitting ships from other EV universes in) which could accommodate thousands of ships of all types, from all three EV universes. Luke even had landing docks for Alien cruisers and fighters, Wraith, hyperiods, Krypt pods, strange asteroids, and an odd-looking one which Luke hoped could accommodate TCTLIDS.
Luke got out his personal electronic key to the bar, seen below,
and opened up the door from the inside. Next to the door was a bright orange sign reading: Notice: Feel free to blow up this bar as many times as you want. It and everything in it can regenerate. Luke proudly sat on the first bar stool, right next to another plaque proclaiming that the bar stools had been bought in memory of Insano. Then he frowned. One piece of equipment hadnt arrived yet.
The soda machine.
Luke gulped and quickly locked the door again. He waited for hours. Finally, a small scoutship landed outside the bar. A group of workers walked out and unloaded the machine. The carried it over to the door, which Luke opened, and they set it in the soda machines designated area. Luke nervously asked, Youre sure it has water and every soda and juice type ever made, right?
And the Pepsi dispenser...
...is invisible to Pepsi-haters, just like you requested, sir.
Luke paid them and they left. After sighing with relief, Luke turned on the OPEN sign again.
The Boozerama Bar New Era has begun.
Write your complaints here: O
Please don't write out of the space.
(url="http://"http://www.homestead.com/lukenj/index.html")"It's spelled Luke, but it's pronounced 'Qkrnxtl.'"(/url)
(This message has been edited by Luke (edited 05-03-2002).)
A long figure stood next to a blue Argosy parked a short distance from the new bar. "Oh no," he said. "Not again..."
Anyway, best of luck.
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As I entered, the cold air made me shiver. The A/C was to high. I sat and waited for some fellow to talk about my last catch...
Mes plus sincčres Salutations ŕ la Vie,
Reine de ce Monde.
Spacey walks in and looks over to Luke. He waves. <achuu!> "S'cuse me," he says with a smile
Keep what ye c'n git, an' keep what ye ha'e, for that is the wey t' gettin' rich - Old Scottish Commoner Saying - "Mac users are loyal. PC users are stubborn
Macavenger reenters the bar that was so long a fixture of the realm, walks up to the bar, and sits at the stool beside Luke. "Hey Luke, you better make sure there's a lot of Dr. Pepper in that storage room, just in case Skyblade drops by. And we'll probably need it for a Soda War, for old times' sake. Of course, we'll need a new target to replace the departed Insano. We'll have to dedicate the soda supply to him too."
After Downing a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, Mac totters over to the pool and drops a cork body in. While waiting to see if anyone will come ride it, he sets up a booth selling Antarean Firewater nearby, and puts out an open sign on it.
- Macavenger | e-mail: (url="http://"mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org")mailto:email@example.com(/url)firstname.lastname@example.org
As my scoutship lands by the bar i check my credits: 500,000,000. "enough to buy 2 or 3 drinks. as i stepped in i saw a pepsi mashene flashing invisable then visable. i wondered "What the he*l is wrong with it?"
no one is a vergin because life has screwed us all. - my self
i have things to do and people to see, or is that backwards? - funpage alert
I say to The Space Between:
ŤTo much dust right here... Luke should hire more jannitor-robots and nicer babes.
But isn't Jess in town again?
Hey, robot, given me so nice pure vodka.ť
"Heyo 'fellers! Long time no drink..."
/Takes a small 1000-gallon drink of DP and is satisfied that no roach juice spigot is visible.
"Gee Luke, you've only got 1.35 million tons of Dr. Pepper in the tanks? That's barely enough to fill my daily order. We'll have a few Rebel supply fleets assigned to stocking this place, and a little extra for possible soda wars (winks at Mac ;))."
"Now where's that DP backpack Mac gave me months ago..."
- - - - -
Boozerama days... Heh, I almost forgot how much fun they were.
Resistance is futile. Join the alliance.
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"Everything we know tells us that machines are structures intelligence designs, and that accidents destroy. Therefore, accidents do not design machines. Intellect does. And the myriad of biological wonders that sprinkle our world testify to the design ingenuity of a Supreme Intellect." -Robert Gange, Origins of Destiny
Tee-Duuu! Tee-Duu! Tee-Duu! wakes me, after all, a glass of voka is barely a somnifer (tr).
ŤYes, the Kit Kat truck!ť do I say. ŤThese crunchy tasty bars... Hum! I should stop being a mercenary and run my Kit Kat ship.ť
I give to the driver a 1M credits for his truck and drive to his ship.
ŤHeaven on Evildrom! a Kit Kat Bulk Freidtgher!!ť
I fall inconscious.
(This message has been edited by Ne Demord Jamais (edited 05-03-2002).)
/Buys Jamais some Advil...
UEA's Kestrel comes through the wormhole from the EVO Milkyway. the Kestrel is painted that perfect blue that he likes so much. UEA walks into the main bar wearing his blue Merc. uniform with an Azdgari Military technition. "go soup up all the Machines to Azdgari standards."UEA told the Azdgari."yes sir right away sir."he replied. soon all the machines were running as fast as anyone could ever want them to. UEA sends the Azdgari back to the ship and teleports to the bar surprising anyone who wasnt in the Steel Bar or latest Freeport Bar.
"well this is my first time here. I'll take a keg of V8 and a Saalian Brandy please."UEA indulges and waits for a 'job'.
Insanity has its advantages
Luke smacks himself on his forehead.
"I almost forgot how much DP you drink, Skyblade!"
Luke sends an urgent hypermail message to the Dr. Pepper InterstellarŽ Apollo Division.
"Hello? Yes, I'd like a permanent fleet full of DP bulk freighters in orbit around Evildrome. Don't worry about the pirates, I'll tell 'em to leave you alone." Luke then walks over to to the people who are using first person.
"Speak in third person, dammit! Or to the acid pit with you!"
Luke then drinks a jynnan tonyx.
UEA feeling a little sloshy in the stomach, sets up a grill and makes himself a plain double bacon cheese whopper and eats it. UEA no longer feeling sloshy thinks that while he waits for a job he can make a few credits. UEA sets up a sign. it reads:
Burger King type burgers for sale.
25 cr. each
UEA makes some burgers in advance and puts them in one of those things that keeps things warm.
"i should make a pretty chip with this gig till i get a job."
Luke shoots UEA and takes his burgers and stand.
"Burgers! 30 credits each! Get your burgers!"
ŤHey Luke, want some Kit Kat to sell for your Grill?ť
I bring UEA back to the bar where I regenerate him, but without the 5 last minutes:
ŤFeeling better now, hein! What if you go get me some burgers!ť
Skyblade turns down the burger offer and goes for the Dr. Pepper dispensor, newly stocked with a million tons of DP from the Apollo Division. He then pulls out his roach juice detector and flips on the switch...
Originally posted by Captain Skyblade:
**Skyblade turns down the burger offer and goes for the Dr. Pepper dispensor, newly stocked with a million tons of DP from the Apollo Division. He then pulls out his roach juice detector and flips on the switch...
Luke mutters "Oh, sh*t," and ducks behind a table. Thank God this bar can regenerate, Luke thinks.
while Luke ducks in cover UEA takes his stand back and resets everything to how it was then turns on his personal forceshield pulls out his ionic beamer stuffs some instant pain killer down Lukes throat and blasts off his hands and feet. too bad they
U.E. Admiral's Burger Stand
25 cr. each
Burger King items
Drop Bear Burgers
UEA then puts a shield on the stand as well. any further attacks will be thwarted.
some ******* tries to tackle UEA but goes right through him. landing on the hard floor head first did not please the ******* so he did it again and again getting more and more frustrated. UEA desided to end the man's problems and teleports him outside the door of the bar pulls his ion beamer out once more and fires.
the man drops with a gapeing hole were his face should be.
(This message has been edited by U.E. Admiral (edited 05-03-2002).)
Jimbob flys in and looks a the new bar. Deciding decisively in a very decisive manner, he bought 42 Seirra Mists, and 42 ounces of Sprite. He then procceded to drink it it 0.42 seconds and run sideways on the walls for 42.... you get the point. Seeing Skyblade checking for roach juice, he runs and dives over the counter and takes out his uzi, just for fun.
Never try to meditate on ecstasy.-Me
If someone with Multiple Personality Disorder kills himself, is it Suicide or Homicide?- me again
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Mac walks over to Skyblade's side, sipping a Dr. Pepper. "Roach Juice scanner? There isn't any in this bar, is there? Say, what's with Luke over there?" The scanner pings, and Mac and Skyblade both look down at it...