Water and Soil
"Gentlemen," mrxak said, looking around the room. "And lady."
The five members of the committee looked confused at each other a moment.
"I've gathered you all here today to determine which of you has been vandalizing the community garden," mrxak continued, quite sternly. "I know some of you have been saying it's those good for nothing teenagers sneaking in late at night to make out and drink beer, but I'm telling you, only the six of us have the combination for the gate!"
The garden committee all stood up and started screaming accusations at each other, as mrxak sat back in his chair and clasped his hands in front of his chin, hiding his smirk as he scanned the room with his narrowed eyes.
"Enough!" mrxak shouted over the din. "Sit down, everyone. We won't solve anything this way. You all remember the sweet potato incident."
The committee members, sufficiently abashed, took their seats but continued to glare at each other.
"My dear friends," mrxak continued throwing his arms wide. "I propose a very simple solution to the problem. Each day, we will meet back here, and expel one member of the committee. Naturally as chairman I am above reproach, so I will change the combination for the gate, and inform the remaining members of the garden committee of the new combination. We will do this each day until the vandalizing stops. I see no reason any of us will want to suffer the indignities of another squashed tomato or stolen squash in the night, so we begin now! As soon as there is a majority in favor of expelling one of you, we'll do so. Until there is a majority vote, no one leaves this room alive!"
The committee members seem to be with mrxak up until that last point, and immediately start complaining about needing to use the bathroom or get a drink and a hundred other pressing concerns.
"Quiet!" mrxak yelled over them. "I have already locked the doors to this room. If you need to use the bathroom so badly, vote quickly. But do vote carefully, gentlemen. Whoever is expelled from this committee will likely have to answer to the director. While I suspect only one of you may be vandalizing the community garden, even the appearance of guilt cast on anyone over this matter may result in unfortunate consequences in the community. We are, after all, talking about the community garden."
The other five members of the committee nod seriously at mrxak, and give the issue some considerable thought before beginning their vote.
Welcome to Bunker 17.